


Au-delà des étoiles

by fromthenorthernskies



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canon Compliant, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Fluff, I promise to go light on this for once, I say while destroying every "normal" things, Jealousy, Kitchen Table Polyamory, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Multi, Mutual Pining, Pining, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Rivalry, Slow Burn, Some angst, Words to Live By, as Mik said themselves, competitive headstrong queens trying to navigate being soulmates, depending on who you ask the definition can change, did I mention absolute pining?, eventual polyamory, kind of?, strangers to rivals to friends to lovers, they're a bit dumb but they do share a few braincells on a good day, time to crash the cis-tem, well at least for the first chapters, while being on the show, you know what that means
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:06:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 43,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29191266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fromthenorthernskies/pseuds/fromthenorthernskies
Summary: Rosé was a teenager when he lost the white trail of his first soulmate.He was well into his twenties when he lost the blue trail of his second soulmate.Both times, he respected that. He respected their wishes — that they didn’t want to be found.Rosé respected it even when the white trail came back, sometimes appearing as distant, blurry footprints instead of a simple dot or lines of color. Those days, it often felt like a wave — a crushing tide of hope, before despair settled in when he realized the truth he had learned harshly years before.They didn’t want him.So he let them go. Rosé didn’t need his soulmates. He had a successful career, good friends, a nice family, and a big apartment in the middle of New York City. His parents had never met their soulmates, and they had been married for decades. Plenty of people around him were happy without a soulmate — so was he. Right?
Relationships: Denali Foxx/Gottmik/Rosé, Denali/Rosé (Drag Race), Gottmik/Rosé (Drag Race)
Comments: 77
Kudos: 130





	1. I'm Coming After You

**Author's Note:**

> Bonjour/hi, local Emerald is back again with a new story because guess what? I got a new hyperfocus and it's called SEASON 13.  
> Awesome. Now, enjoy my descent into madness with this new chaptered story. Do I know where I'm going with it? Not really. But we'll make it work along the way.  
> PS: Denali and Rosé own my soul and my heart, and with that being said: LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOO.  
> Song used as the title and at the start is I'm Coming After You by Owl City.

_ You got the right to remain right here with me _

_ I'm on your tail in a hot pursuit _

_ Love is a high-speed chase racing down the street _

_ Woo-oo woo-oo woo, I'm coming after you _

Rosé could remember it clearly, and it was his most amusing memory for a long time. 

A few days after his fourth birthday, as he was playing football in the street with some other kids from his neighborhood, his gaze was immediately attracted to a bright white spot on the ground. It was tiny, but it was enough to pique his interest instantly. Completely missing the pass from his friend, Rosé instead decided to investigate. Why was this here all of a sudden? 

His group hollered him back, but it was hopeless — he was hooked. He needed to know what was the small white spot which didn’t leave his vision even as he tried to wipe his eyes. 

However, even as he ran in the direction the spot was, he never came closer to it. Never came close to touch it. Rosé, at only four years old, was nothing if not determined, though. He carried on until he completely lost track of time and his surroundings. 

And then he fell in a ditch. Hard. 

When he woke up a few days later in the hospital with a broken arm and a few minor injuries, surrounded by his parents who were crying in relief, he remembered feeling comfort in seeing the same, small bright spot to the west of his periphery. Rosé smiled, embraced his parents, and vowed to be more careful in a measured voice. 

But he crossed his fingers behind his back mischievously — he didn’t need to be careful, he needed to find what the spot was. He _would_ find it. 

* * *

It was only a few years later that he learned from friends in school what the “spot” was. He made a face when people from his class were all murmuring things about “footprints” and “trails of colors”. So, his bright white spot wasn’t just a defect of his eyes after all? 

When he asked his parents, they relented and told him of “soulmates”. Two people sharing footprints, supposedly linking people together who had good synergy. Rosé asked if they were soulmates, and his mother smiled. They weren’t, but that didn’t mean they weren’t happy, she had said. The young boy shook his head in disbelief. How could they have no want of finding that person, to know who the spot of color belonged to? 

It was also that moment where he learned about anti-soulmates aids. Special shoes and soles to hide your footprints, and special glasses and contact lenses to hide your soulmates’ footprints to your periphery. 

The closer someone was to their soulmate, the closer their footprints appeared. With Rosé only seeing a small dot of bright white on the ground at all times, he groaned. His soulmate must have been thousands of miles away. He was never going to find them at this rate. 

* * *

About a year after he became bored by the soulmate chase — not like he could cross the world to get to them before they were older, anyway — he was startled when a sudden blue dot appeared, a bit more to the south than the white one, but still very small. At almost ten, he frowned, wondering what it meant, out of nowhere. 

He had never heard of people having multiple trails to follow. Rosé sighed in despair, rolling around in his bed — life was never going to be easy for him, was it? 

Some of his friends told him how they saw footprints etched in the ground. Nothing like Rosé and the little dots he had to squint his eyes at most of the days just to catch a glimpse of them. He wondered what color his footprints were. Did his soulmates also see his dot of color instead of footprints or trails, and were they sad like him? 

He concluded that they must have been — if they had any kind of synergy with him, with his feelings. That single thought deepened the cracks already laying at the foundations of his heart. People — no, scratch that, _his soulmates_ — were suffering because of him. He needed to do something, craved to see their footprints mix with his own. 

His fervor to find them was abruptly renewed — he began to gather all the information he could at the small library near his school. It didn’t help much if only to validate that yes, some people had multiple soulmates. But most of them never met, because they feared it was too complicated to bother. Rosé wasn’t like that. He wanted to be friends with them. 

Looking on a map, he realized that they must be living on the other side of the Atlantic — at least if his poor geography skills weren’t failing him like they usually did. But this wasn’t class, it was serious business. His parents had talked about moving to the US soon. Maybe he’d get to meet them, then? He could only hope. 

* * *

Rosé huffed, brushing away a bit of white powder away from his nose and cheeks as he finished his makeup for the night. He was thinking about how naïve it had been of him — they did move to the US shortly after that, more specifically to New York City, but he never met his soulmates. Now, just a bit over thirty years old, he had more or less learned to let go. Regardless of how the trails seemed to come and go with the seasons, with the moods. 

This wasn’t easy for him — he was tenacious to a fault, and what’s more, deeply stubborn. People liked to say a rock had a better chance to break than him when he settled on a decision. But still, he let his soulmates live their lives, do their experiences on their own. 

Rosé was a teenager when he lost the white trail of his first soulmate.

He was well into his twenties when he lost the blue trail of his second soulmate. 

Both times, he respected that. He respected their wishes — that they didn’t want to be found. 

Rosé respected it even when the white trail came back, sometimes appearing as distant, blurry footprints instead of a simple dot or lines of color. Those days, it often felt like a wave — a crushing tide of hope, before despair settled in when he realized the truth he had learned harshly years before. 

_They didn’t want him._

So he let them go. Rosé didn’t need his soulmates. He had a successful career, good friends, a nice family, and a big apartment in the middle of New York City. His parents had never met their soulmates, and they had been married for decades. Plenty of people around him were _happy_ without a soulmate — so was he. Right? 

Sometimes it was still a bit too much, and he had to make a beeline for the pair of special glasses his best friends, Jan and Lagoona, had given him, tired of seeing him be miserable. He needed the rest. He could not want his soulmates in his life — they had chosen for him. As the oldest, Rosé understood, and carried on with acting, singing with Stephanie’s Child, and other drag avenues. 

They did say old habits die hard, though. 

Rosé had never stopped looking for them, albeit a bit calmer and wiser than when he was a brash, reckless kid living in the UK. He consulted forums on the matter. Websites entirely dedicated to finding soulmates. Read countless books on how to deal with rejection. Hell, he even went with his sister on a stupid seminar trying to make him forget about them. 

But Rosé still longed, yearned to meet them properly, to hold their hands, and talk endlessly. 

He didn’t know if anything could ever surpass the feeling of meeting his soulmates, but being cast on RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 13 was the closest he could get in terms of sheer serotonin, he was sure. 

* * *

When he came into the lobby of the hotel, he still had his special glasses perched on his nose carefully. The Scottish queen didn’t want to be distracted for now. He had to get in the zone for the filming, even if they had to quarantine for two whole weeks, alone in a lonely hotel room without social media or friends before that. 

Rosé was lazily playing with a messy strand of his vest while watching around. Leaning against the ramp, he was waiting for the receptionist to give him his key to start his time in hell. For now, that meant he could bathe in the presence of people around, though he would have preferred to have Jan and Lagoona with him. Honestly, any New York queen at this point. Just someone to make easy conversation with. He was pretty sure a few of the NYC queens were going to be on the show anyway, but that also didn’t mean he was close to them. He was a professional and, as far as he could remember, he has never ruffled anyone’s feathers back home, but who knows. Rosé tried to ignore the thought before the anxiety could settle heavily on his mind. 

The receptionist pushed a small card into his hand, and with a tight-lipped smile, he was off. _To hell_ , he reminded himself grimly. It made him walk far slower than he usually would, not exactly eager to get inside and locked up for good. They had been serious — once the queens entered their rooms, they wouldn’t be allowed to leave until the fifteenth day, when filming would begin. 

Rosé stopped before the door, his forehead resting against the cooler door lightly. “Into the mouth of hell we march, I guess…,” he mumbled to himself before the door closed behind him with a dreadful click. 

* * *

The whole day had been a bore-fest. He wasn’t too sure what he was expecting, but this wasn’t it. He was a social person, yes, but liked to have his space and some time to himself regularly. But not when it was forced on him like this. And not when the only activity either was watching the news channel or watching the paint scrape off the ceiling with the AC blasting at full strength. 

He had figured that he could take a nap during the afternoon, at least, to pass the time, but he was sorely mistaken. In the end, he mostly daydreamed on the bed, rolling around when thoughts became unbearable. When the sun was starting to set, he instead headed for the balcony, leaning against the railing. He enjoyed the slightly cooler air of Los Angeles, without having the sizzling heat of the day wearing him down. 

While his room was at the end of a corridor, he still had a neighbor to his right, and he glanced at the other balcony with curiosity. He wondered who was there — if there even was someone. He wasn’t too sure about Drag Race’s customs into booking rooms for queens in hotels, especially for quarantine or something. Absentmindedly, he looked over his glasses to get a better view of the scenery without being bothered by the smoky panels. 

His jaw abruptly unhinged itself under the disbelief of what he could see now. 

_Footprints_. Clear, strong, white footprints were deeply etched in the material of the neighbor’s balcony. 

Hastily, he removed his glasses entirely, almost smashing them in the process, his green irises moving uncontrollably. The door to his neighbor’s hotel room — _his goddamn soulmate?!_ — was open. He had to do something. Right? Did they even see his trails, too? How long have the white footprints been there anyway?! Unlike his friends, he had no basis on this. It was the first time he could study such defined and precise footprints like people talked about. It could have been left five minutes or five hours ago, and he wouldn’t know better. 

... The balconies were _kind of_ close. He wasn’t a gymnast by any means, but he could _try_ to jump over to the other side. Provided that he didn’t look down and slip, it would go well. He could meet _them -_

Rosé cringed at how he sounded inside his head in his panicked state. That was borderline stalker behavior — having suddenly found one of his soulmates wasn’t justifying everything his brain could come up with in a haze. 

“Hi, hmm, you...? Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” suddenly asked a soft voice, and Rosé jumped out of his skin, dramatically clutching at the absent set of pearls on his neck. 

In his crazy-induced panic, he had failed to notice that the person he was looking for the most was out on their balcony, leaning against the railing, and watching him with curiosity. 

Rosé felt nothing but relief from finally having him in front of him for the first time. He seemed a bit shorter than him, with dark short hair cut on the side, and even darker eyes. But what caught his attention instantly was the spark of mischievousness he could see twinkling in the other’s irises brightly. He had large dimples that creased his cheeks beautifully, simply enhancing his already soft smile. In a hurry, Rosé realized he hadn’t even answered the other — _his soulmate_. It would take a moment to settle in. Jan and Lagoona would have a field day realizing he had to leave for his career dream to accomplish a part of his dearest wish. 

“You’re my soulmate,” the Scottish queen finally mustered in a tight voice, awestruck. “Fuck, you’re beautiful…” 

Then, the mysterious guy had the _audacity_ to wink at him, and his dimples were on full display for Rosé to take it all in once more. He desperately sucked in a much-needed breath. “I’m Denali. Nice to meet you, handsome. Can’t say you disappoint...” 

_Fuck. He was already in the deep — and screw everyone who said soulmates could stay platonic._


	2. Set Me On Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosé averted his green eyes for a moment, bringing his chin up to his knees. He really hoped things would go well for both of them, but this was Drag Race. He expected twists and turns, and drama — and he had no way of knowing how it would go in the workroom. Especially since they had agreed to keep their distance at the start, as to not raise suspicion from their sisters. 
> 
> This was gonna be hell, but hey, they said if you go through hell, keep walking. 
> 
> Rosé was nothing if not a power walker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonjour/Hi, here's a new chapter to tide us over for the week when I don't have lots of time to write. Fortunately for us all, I made some notes and I think I'm finding where I want to take this story.  
> With that being said, enjoy this update!  
> Song used for the title and lyrics at the start is Set Me On Fire by Flyleaf.

_Open my eyes, I'm reaching for you_

_Set me on fire, set me on fire_

_I'm burning inside, I'm waiting for you_

_Set me on fire, set me on fire_

_Your hand in mine, oh, I feel the fire_

_Two hearts that beat, oh, to feed the fire_

Turns out maybe there was some truth in people cooing all day long about how compatible soulmates were. 

Rosé had always thought the saying to be cute and liked daydreaming about it, for sure. Who wouldn’t? But he never considered how his meeting with one of his soulmates would be, not really. He knew it wouldn’t stand a chance to his dreams. 

And he was right — this was, somehow, even better and exceeding every expectation he had put on the metaphorical shoulders of his soulmates. _Somehow,_ Denali was shouldering those expectations very well and didn’t even seem phased by it. He seemed to have a certain strength of spirit that melded well with the playfulness in his tone. Rosé was hooked right from the start — that man was special, he was absolutely certain of that fact and would fight anyone who dared to say otherwise. 

He was watching Denali like he was the only thing in the whole world — and right now, he might have been. Rosé had been so bored out of his mind that this? _This_ was nothing short of a blessing. Also, learning that the younger one was also here for Drag Race? Serendipitous. Rosé could barely understand his sudden luck. He didn’t even realize he was dozing off until a finger brushed his hand carefully. 

But it was more than enough to bring him back to Earth — it felt good, Rosé didn’t even know how to explain it. He just knew he wanted more, and hastily chased after the other, grabbing his finger back with his own. Looking up, he caught a gentle smile on Denali’s traits and grinned right back. 

“We must look crazy like this, holding _fingers_ over the damn balcony, girl,” started the dark-haired queen, still not making any attempts to move out of the almost hand-holding happening. 

“Are you complaining?”

Denali snorted lightly. “I haven’t moved, have I?” 

“Hmm, that’s what I thought.” 

The sky was quickly turning to its darkest state and Rosé frowned. How long had they been like that, just leaning towards each other on their respective balconies, talking about themselves in turn? Probably a few hours at least, if he had to guess. He hadn’t seen the time pass. Nobody could blame him though, with such good company. Rosé didn’t care about the cliché, Denali was an incredible counterpart to his sarcasm and light-hearted jabs with enough playfulness to entertain him _and_ not be offended by his at-time dry comments. 

Nevertheless, none of them had yet addressed the elephant in the room: the third soulmate thing. Rosé almost sighed. He hadn’t seen the small blue dot or blurry trails for years now. He had figured that they had a few years of difference between them and that as soon as they hit their early teenage years, they decided to disappear off the grid. Rosé wasn’t blaming them for it, but he couldn’t help but wonder if they ever would reappear. 

“What are you thinking about?” 

Without realizing it, he had averted his gaze away from his newly found soulmate to daydream about the other. Maybe that was a symptom of having more than one footprint trail to follow — being inattentive until they all were together. Rosé smiled sadly. “Did you ever see the blue trail growing up from Alaska?” 

He watched Denali furrowing his brow for a second before nodding weakly. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen it, though. When I was younger, I saw some blurry footprints from far away when I had competitions in the south. But that’s it.” 

“At least we have the same — imagine if we didn’t? That would be strange.” 

“This whole situation _is_ strange, Rosie. No offense.” 

“Okay, fine, you’re right,” started the Scottish queen with a small laugh. He sobered up quickly, new thoughts running through his mind. “Do you think… we’ll ever meet them?” 

“Maybe. Maybe not. Does it matter? It ain’t gonna happen on set, so it’s whatever.” 

Rosé was surprised by Denali’s dry reaction — he had seemed very happy to meet him, mischievously saying how he had arrived a while before him and had witnessed his footprints get clearer. When Rosé had stepped into the neighboring room, Denali made sure to leave some footprints on the balcony, trying to goad the other into seeking him — since he couldn’t leave his room. The worst part was, it had worked. 

But somehow, this fact didn’t juxtapose well with the blasé attitude the younger one had towards their other soulmate. Maybe because Rosé, at least, had never hidden his trails from him. Did Denali resent their shared soulmate for it? He realized how much more he had to learn about his newly acquired friend. They barely knew each other for a few hours. He had only pierced the top of the iceberg with their talk so far. _Interesting_. 

Rosé couldn’t imagine living in a world where he wasn’t yearning for his soulmates to at least be friends with him and hang out with them regularly. But both Denali and the other one seemed to be able to — that, at least, gave them something to bond on. A small part of him now wanted for them to meet first and to laugh at them and their apparent disdain for the whole meeting situation. 

“Whatcha laughing at, silly?”

Rosé shook his head, amused. He squeezed Denali’s finger a little tighter, not wanting to let go just yet. They had thirteen more days just for the two of them, and hopefully a few more weeks when filming would begin. 

“I’ll tell you later, Angel.”

* * *

The two weeks went by in the blink of an eye. Before he knew it, it was the night of the fourteenth day. They were still talking like they usually did most of the day — Rosé would be surprised if they had spent more than a few hours inside their respective rooms during the two whole weeks. They went inside to take showers and get food, but that was mostly it. Not only that, but they even usually snoozed against the railing before waking up in a daze in the middle of the night, waking the other up, and begrudgingly making their way to beds, feeling more lonely than ever. 

And then the first to wake up would throw small random items on the other’s balcony — so far, the record was held by Denali, who, on day 6, literally threw a whole cooking pot on Rosé’s side, the sound thundering through the small room, waking Rosé with the biggest scare of his life. He had berated Denali, but the youngest had the most playful smile etched on his face, his dimples on full display, and the puppy eyes were enough to calm Rosé almost instantly. 

Since that event, though, the Scottish queen had vowed to be the first every morning to wake up, if only to avoid getting his balcony destroyed by Denali’s surprising strength — and, unfortunately, bad aim. 

Even as they spent all their time together — making up for all the moments they couldn’t have when they were younger and lonely — they were still sad that they couldn’t just touch more than their hands if they stretched far enough. Rosé dreamed of the blissful moment where he could just hold Denali flush against him, and not let him go. 

In the meanwhile, they had taken to sharing their clothes — his own being too long for Denali’s shorter and smaller frame, which made them giggle. The other queen had thrown him over his biggest hoodie, from a random K-Pop group he wasn’t too sure about, and Rosé still had it on. He couldn’t be blamed: it smelled a strangely appealing mix of smells that he’d come to associate with Denali, whenever the wind blew in a good direction. 

But now it was their last night “together” before heading for filming, and there was no way he was going to get back to his room to sleep alone again. Rosé knew he’d wake up super early with a creak in his neck, and pain resonating in his bones, but he couldn’t be bothered. He wanted Denali all to himself, if only for this last night. 

“How do you think this is gonna go?”

Denali had a somewhat distant look in his dark eyes for once, and Rosé blinked unhelpfully for a moment too long. He stretched his hand to grasp at the other’s fingers softly. He understood, shared the same mix of emotions. 

“Well, we’re gonna wake up together and feel tender all day, but not because of sexy things, which is a shame if you ask me,” began Rosé, smirk only getting wider as he saw Denali shook his head in disbelief. “Then, we’re gonna prepare, get on the set, play pretend like we never saw each other, and meet everyone. Hopefully, I win the challenge, but as a little treat, you can be my runner-up,” he finished, smug. 

“Bitch! _You_ can be my runner-up!”

Rosé smiled at the competitiveness he heard loud and clear in the other’s voice. He had quickly realized just how much of a competitor Denali was during the week, whenever they argued playfully, but he always rose to the challenge, standing strong against Rosé’s own stubbornness. From what he had gathered, Denali was quite the headstrong queen too, and for both their sake, he hoped that their other soulmate was more mellow and soft than them. Otherwise, it could get messy. 

He instantly depleted a bit thinking about the missing link. Denali seemed to realize it and squeeze his fingers gently. They shared a soft gaze, and Rosé sighed. “Sorry, I got in my head a bit.” 

“It’s okay to be scared, you know. You don’t have to stay strong for my sake. I’ll support you.” 

He smiled, and then promptly gasped, his years of acting twisting his face into a ghastly one. “What? Me? Showing weakness in front of my biggest rival? Couldn’t be me.” 

“Shut up, dork. I was serious.” 

“I know you were. And… likewise. I just want the both of us to go to the finale together, you know?”

Rosé knew that was wishful thinking, but he knew his talent — and if destiny had given him Denali, then, he also was certain that the other queen was _good_. He had faith in him. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t scared. For him. But also for Denali. He wanted him here, until the very end. 

“Hey, we’re gonna be fine, okay? I promise.”

“Yeah. Okay,” answered Rosé in a murmur barely heard above the traffic of the streets nearby. He saw Denali yawn and smiled tenderly. “Let’s try to sleep, right?” 

“Can you sing something?” 

He grinned. Denali had started to ask him to sing every night after he admitted he was in a band back in New York, and honestly, Rosé loved to do it. Partly because he loved to sing, but also because he loved to see the awe and wonder in the dark eyes of his soulmate. 

Rosé didn’t even have to sing long, most of the time — he knew his stubborn friend wanted to stay awake to hear him, but he usually fell asleep during the second or third song at best. Tonight was no different, as Denali was knocked out cold after a few minutes. He was honestly adorable, all curled up on himself as close to the railing as he could, holding one of his bunched-up t-shirts as a plushie safely. 

Rosé averted his green eyes for a moment, bringing his chin up to his knees. He really hoped things would go well for both of them, but this was Drag Race. He expected twists and turns, and drama — and he had no way of knowing how it would go in the workroom. Especially since they had agreed to keep their distance at the start, as to not raise suspicion from their sisters. 

This was gonna be hell, but hey, they said if you go through hell, keep walking. 

Rosé was nothing if not a power walker. 


	3. Heart Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He just hadn’t expected Olivia to put up such a strong fight, and for the judges to finally drop the sword on his head: he had lost. Was he already going home?! What was even going on? Where was Denali?! He could see his trails, a bright line of footprints, leading to another place in the studio. Rosé just wasn’t sure where it would lead him, not that anyone would let him wander free in the studio. 
> 
> This day wasn’t going well in any way, maybe he should have stayed asleep on the balcony with Denali, lost in their own little world. As he exited, his only regret was to not have seen his soulmate one last time before leaving. Two weeks was far too short to be separated once again. As a lot of friends and one-night stands had once told him: Destiny was, indeed, cruel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I'm back with the middle of the week update for all of us, starving for more content!  
> I definitely got a timeline of things I want to happen, but at the same time, I enjoy watching the show every Friday and take inspiration from that.  
> (That means you're gonna get chapters probably for a long time, so hurray for that! Hurray for the slow burn!)  
> Song used for the title and lyrics at the start is Heart Attack from Demi Lovato.

_You make me glow_

_But I cover up, won't let it show_

_So I'm putting my defenses up_

_'Cause I don't wanna fall in love_

_If I ever did that, I think I'd have a heart attack_

This was absolutely nuts. Rosé wasn’t sure what was happening, and while he _had_ expected twists and surprises, he hadn’t expected to start his first day on Drag Race by lip-syncing against a fellow constant. Mostly because he had been so certain that he would on the top, or at the very least, safe. 

But it wasn’t even because of a challenge or a bad runway. Rosé was simply expected to impress a panel of judges who knew nothing about him based only on a one-minute sample of a random song he couldn’t even pick. What’s more, he had to do this against Olivia Lux, who was a baby in terms of drag longevity, and a fellow New York queen. A friend. He wasn’t taking it lightly, but he still felt overly confident. 

Olivia was a sweetheart, and he was glad she had made it to the competition, but she had to go if he was to stay, and that was a burden he was more than able to bear until he’d bring the crown back to NYC anyway. Anything to stay in the competition, both for the crown and to enjoy his time with Denali. 

He just hadn’t expected Olivia to put up such a strong fight, and for the judges to finally drop the sword on his head: he had lost. Was he already going home?! What was even going on? Where was Denali?! He could see his trails, a bright line of footprints, leading to another place in the studio. Rosé just wasn’t sure where it would lead him, not that anyone would let him wander free in the studio. 

This day wasn’t going well in any way, maybe he should have stayed asleep on the balcony with Denali, lost in their own little world. As he exited, his only regret was to not have seen his soulmate one last time before leaving. Two weeks was far too short to be separated once again. As a lot of friends and one-night stands had once told him: Destiny was, indeed, cruel. 

* * *

But to Rosé’s utmost confusion, the crew just directed him to a random room that wasn’t the workroom, to take off his stuff and get the hell out. Hesitating at the threshold, he still pushed through and composed himself while doing so. He wasn’t dumb. He could see Denali’s white footprints clearly on the solid ground and it made him smile. At least he wasn’t too far. 

_But what if that meant Denali went through the same thing and also got eliminated?_

Even with his previous analysis, he let still out a gasp at seeing four other queens seated there, talking in murmurs to themselves. His pale green eyes instantly fell on the only person he had wanted to see, and while his only thought was for how beautiful Denali looked right now, Rosé still managed to keep the exclamation from leaving his throat. 

Rosé wasn’t going to blow their cover on day one if any other days were coming. He nevertheless felt comforted by the small smile he saw playing on the corner of his soulmate’s painted lips. He greeted the other queens carefully, keeping his eagerness in check the best he could when Denali’s turn happened. Rosé had made sure to hug all the other queens, to have an excuse to do the same when it was Denali’s turn — just a lot longer. 

Almost reverently, Rosé brought the shorter one into his arms for the first time, and it just felt _good_. It felt like he belonged there more than ever. All the stress and struggle he had faced earlier seemed to tone down the longer he stayed in the embrace, with Denali’s hands around his neck delicately and the way he breathed softly into his neck. Rosé knew he had to let go before it was _weird,_ but he has just gained some peace of mind. He had waited fourteen days — and more before knowing Denali — to just being close to him, so people could kiss his ass for now. Rosé felt his heart tug painfully at the thought of being separated from the other queen and groaned inwardly. He wasn’t about to fall in love that easily, was he? That wasn’t an option during filming. Afterward, they could try to figure it out, just… not right now. It was finally Denali who had more of a presence of mind, and backed off him slowly, leaving the hold he had on Rosé with a caress on the back of his neck, making him shiver in return. 

As he was settling right into their conversation with ease, mostly listening but making small comments here and there, Rosé absentmindedly realized how much he would never be able to go back to not have Denali in his life, near him, _touching_ him. The sole thought of the Mexican-American queen being away from him made his stomach churn uneasily. 

As he was listening to Joey and Utica who were now sprouting a theory about this being a Season 6 or 12 kind of thing — and he agreed wholeheartedly — Rosé felt a hand fall on his upper thigh, and barely kept in the need to jump from his seat in surprise. It was almost like Denali _knew_ what kind of thoughts he was having, and had just decided to show that they were both still here at the moment, and that’s all that mattered. It was a kind gesture, but it was also laced with mischievousness, as he _knew_ how Denali was — and he was also bare-legged. A single look at the now blonde queen confirmed it — but Rosé wasn’t exactly complaining, and let the younger one do as he wished, at least for now. As long as Denali’s hand wasn’t moving, he could pretend to the others that nothing was going on. 

When two other queens came in, he was surprised to see his soulmate jump on his feet and go straight for the Asian queen, a big smile etched on his face. Rosé guessed that they probably knew each other, then. He left him alone with his friend after quickly greeting the named Kahmora, and welcomed Elliott as well. 

The others were all back on their conspiracy theories, and it was making him laugh. If anything, then at least they were a funny group of losers. It probably meant the others — including Olivia — were in a group of winners. It was an interesting concept, he could admit. From the corner of his eye, Rosé could see Kahmora being amused with Denali just biting his nails nervously, both deep into what seemed to be an animated conversation. 

Having been with him for fourteen days without any other kind of social interaction, he knew the telltale signs of an anxious Denali already. It was both a blessing and a curse, as Rosé was instantly worried about his friend. Both queens were now looking at him, and he frowned, tilting his head on the side to convey his confusion to Denali. He saw the shy smile the usually dark-haired queen sent his way, but it didn’t quell his rising worry. He decided to let it go for a moment, especially since the others were calling his attention to them again. 

* * *

Rosé was leaning on the railing of the balcony, watching the sunset over the cityscape, waiting for his soulmate to appear as usual. He had rushed through taking a shower, removing all traces of his drag and taking a short bite. Fortunately, he didn’t have to wait for a long time, as he saw the bright, almost blinding footprints of Denali before the other could greet him. 

“What were you talking about with Kahmora earlier? You seemed nervous.” He knew he was skipping right through everything, but Rosé was worrying and Denali was still vibrating with anxious energy, which didn’t appease him the least. 

“I…” started Denali with hesitation. That was weird — the Alaskan was rarely hesitant, at least, not with him, not in the last two weeks they had known each other. Rosé stayed silent, waiting for the other to gather his thoughts patiently. “I told Kahmora about the whole soulmate thing,” he finally admitted, absentmindedly biting at his nails once more. 

“Hey, stop that,” Rosé swatted his hand away the best he could with the distance, and Denali whined lowly but stopped. There was silence for a moment until he caught the pleading dark gaze of his soulmate and relented, sighing. “I thought we were keeping this under wraps, at least during filming.” 

He wasn’t angry with his friend, he was just surprised that Denali had cracked on the first day like this, on the first occasion. A part of him wished he had come to him instead, but Rosé also knew he couldn’t control everything. It was just overwhelming and all new for them, to suddenly feel so much for another human they barely knew, in the end. 

“I’m sorry,” mumbled Denali, voice barely loud enough to hear. “I’m just scared, it’s all so new, and I needed to tell someone who knew me, knew I hadn’t met my soulmate, and… I don’t know, are you angry with me?” 

“What?! No, I’m not angry! Why would I be?”

Rosé was flabbergasted by the conclusion instantly drawn by his soulmate and was frowning seriously. Denali looked guilty, and he felt his heart break a little, even if he didn’t do anything wrong. 

“I don’t know, I don’t wanna disappoint you, I guess.” 

“Honestly? I don’t think you ever could disappoint me, Angel.”

Rosé guessed that the earnestness he was trying to convey to his soulmate was enough, because Denali smiled shyly, and nodded, a hand raking through his short dark hair. It was more than enough to continue their typical banter and conversation as usual, and for the first time since the morning, Rosé felt like he could breathe freely. 

* * *

The next days were spent trying to write lyrics and create choreography for Phenomenon. Rosé was objectively pretty good at both those things, but learning it in only a few days while preparing an outfit _and_ struggling over Denali’s constant presence near him? That was a bit out of the normal parameters. How was he supposed to concentrate when the only thing he wanted to do was to lounge in the sofas of the workroom with Denali sprawled all over him? 

Rosé wasn’t too sure on how it was going to go, and a part of his brain hoped for the best. The rest of his brain cells were too busy being in the gutter to actually work. 

Fortunately, he had the almost unfair advantage of being able to practice with Denali at night, both of them trying out their routine for the song. Denali, like him, was a talented choreographer, and they were both perfectionists at heart, so they had sky-high standards. This allowed them to criticize the other and offer improvements to be ready for the end of the week. 

_Unfortunately_ , that also meant they butted heads more than once on things to change, or things to keep in their respective sets. They also had a few instances where they needed to be in sync to sell it to the judges while the other queens had their turn with their verses, and it wasn’t exactly going the way they wanted it to go. 

After practicing for what seemed like hours on end the night before the filming for episode three began, they had once more bickered over things — this time it was really stupid: it was only about who should turn in the last segment of the song. But they couldn’t decide, and tension was running high. Rosé argued that Denali should do it since he was more flexible and could recover quicker, but Denali argued that _Rosé_ would have an easier time since his moves before the turn were lighter than his own. 

“Well, what do you want me to do? Destroy my back on the first challenge? It ain’t happening,” warned Denali in a tense voice, crossing his arms. 

“You know damn well that if _I_ do it, it will look sloppy — _you_ can make it look incredible, honestly, I’m just setting you for a win here, don’t you want that?” 

“Of course I do!” 

“Then what’s the problem?!”

“Rosé, I _can’t_ , like _physically_ can’t, if I try to do it perfectly I’ll strain something, and I know, because last time I tried a move like that, it happened, too.”

Both of them were huffing, breathing heavily while staring at each other. Rosé narrowed his eyes while Denali sighed. They had come to a stalemate. Rosé pinched the bridge of his nose, groaning, and pushed back the sleeves of Denali’s stupid K-Pop hoodie he was still wearing. Not because he loved him or anything, it was just the first thing he had taken from his pile of clothes after coming back from filming. 

“Guide me through the spin,” Rosé finally relented. 

“Wait, what?”

“I’m gonna do it, but I need you to make sure it’s not too sloppy, so the judges don’t notice. Can you do that?”

Denali nodded sharply, moving his hands around to let Rosé know he wanted him to start from the top. “Rosie?” 

“What?”

“Thank you.” 

“You might not wanna thank me when I win tomorrow with this _twirl_ , honey,” snarked Rosé, hands on his hips. 

“I’ll take my chances,” retorted Denali with a smirk, starting the music once more. 

* * *

All and in all, it went a lot better than Rosé could have hoped for. He didn’t look sloppy — Denali had made sure of that, he was so tired after all the times the younger guy made him twirl. He was certain he could now do that part of the choreography without any music and in his sleep, easily. 

Denali had also done well, and as they headed back to the workroom for the filming of Untucked, he felt pretty confident for both of them. Their song had been good, their lyrics had been on point. Honestly, even after hearing Denali sing “ _Triple Lutz on these sluts ‘cause I like it rough_ ” for the whole week, Rosé still had to keep his jaw from unhinging too much. His thoughts were far from being pure at that moment, and he had carefully shelved that information to process far more later. 

Instantly, they sat together on the same couch and watched the others all take their places. They were probably sitting a bit too close, but Rosé hoped that the tulle of his dress would hide it well. Their hands were slightly brushing under a large amount of fabric. He felt calmer when he could touch Denali like the Mexican-American was his sole anchor to this realm. That alone should have been a terrifying thought for someone so fiercely independent like him, but he only felt relief. Jan and Lagoona would howl with laughter if they could see him right now. 

“— Look at them, they’re already all cuddled up, they’re going to be our little couple of the season!” 

Rosé instantly came back to Earth and narrowed his emerald eyes, having missed everything that was before for context clues. But he _knew_ they were talking about them, and he nervously glanced at Denali, who seemed just as hesitant. Their hands intertwined underneath the fabric of their dresses combined. 

“It’s fine, we already know they’re our top of the week, leave them alone,” observed Kahmora, offering a small smile to her friend from Chicago. Rosé couldn’t believe that they were saved that easily, as the discussion swayed to who could be eliminated. He made a small note to thank Kahmora later, because he wasn’t ready to deal with all that right now, especially not under the drama-hungry cameras. 

When they were called back to the stage, Rosé wasn’t surprised to be in the top, and neither was he to see Denali stand next to him, as they would fight for the top queen of the week. Fortunately — or not — no queen was going to be eliminated this week. After throwing out Elliott earlier that week, he wasn’t too keen on sending another one of his sisters home already. Neither was he to add all the winner’s group in the next week, but that just meant he had to take them down one by one. Besides, he was curious to know how Olivia had fared in the first week after beating him. From the other queens, he also knew Kandy and Tina were going to be there, and while they weren’t close, they knew each other. 

As they got in place to lip-sync, Rosé couldn’t help but playfully wink in Denali’s direction, and the other queen shook his head in amusement at his antics. However, Rosé was pretty sure the other was slightly blushing, and it made him smirk a bit more. He didn’t want to throw the Alaskan off his game, but at the same time, there was no immense weight to their lip-sync, and as such, he didn’t mind much. 

Besides, Denali was a fierce competitor, and Rosé would take all the help he could get against him, including making cute faces at him if it was working. 

* * *

In the blink of an eye, it was over, and they had been dismissed for the night, so they could rest for the next week of filming. Rosé had smiled, even as Denali had been given the victory for the week. He was happy for him and carefully pushed down — okay, he more adequately stomped on — any jealousy or resentment from his competitive nature. 

Besides, them competing meant he was allowed to hug Denali afterward, regardless of the result, and it wasn’t weird or anything, so he would take it. Rosé still had allowed a bit of bickering out, merely saying that he had gone easy on him, and that next time he was destroying him for sure. 

Denali didn’t disappoint when he smirked and retorted that he’d be okay with Rosé destroying him any day and how he’d like to see it happen, and that was clearly said without drag in intent, _and_ Rosé had just gulped. He was left speechless and barely holding back from stealing a kiss, one that was twenty days and more overdue. The Scottish queen was also pretty sure to have seen a twinkle of mischief in Denali’s dark eyes, warning him that the younger one absolutely knew what kind of effect he was having on the older one.

* * *

“I think we did well for the first week, no?”

Denali’s voice cut through the relative silence of Los Angeles at night, while they both were watching the sunset like they had done every day since meeting each other. Rosé merely hummed, simply basking into the relative calm he felt at that very moment. Without the adrenaline, his mood had fallen to a more mellow vibe, and Denali’s presence further encouraged that emotion. 

“We gotta be more careful. With the others, I mean.” 

Rosé sighed softly, not looking towards his friend and instead concentrating on formulating the words correctly. “I don’t mind if Kahmora knows. Hell, I don’t care if the entire cast knows. But the crew and judges and the cameras? Yeah, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

“Don’t wanna be the next Branjie, Rosie?” 

A shiver ran through the Scottish queen, and he grimaced. Denali seemed to find it funny, but he could feel the same nervousness in his voice and was instantly reassured. They probably were on the same page, but it needed to be said once and for all. 

“Look, I… Fuck, how do I even say that?”

“It’s okay, you can admit you can’t keep your hands off me, I understand…” 

“Fuck off, Nali, it ain’t about that,” he groaned weakly. _It really was about that._

“You think we’re distracted, and that we gotta compete first, and see what this… goes later on.” 

“Yeah, we should focus on the challenges and _try_ to be friends, you know?”

“What do you mean, we _are_ friends,” mischievously answered Denali, his eyebrows wiggling. 

“Yeah, because I wanna make out and hear all my friends scream my name when I’m done pinning them against a wall and ruining them, for sure.” 

Denali was watching him, highly flustered, and for once, Rosé enjoyed that he had made him speechless. He was usually so quick on his feet, it was rare to catch him off like this. Plus, seeing him wearing his flannel was doing _it_ for Rosé, it was only harder to resist the pull. _Damn that stupid balcony…_

“You’re lucky we can’t get into each other’s rooms, or else…”

“How unlucky me,” Rosé agreed, the smug expression never leaving his face even as Denali threw him the cushion he kept on the balcony to be more comfortable, embarrassment clear on his face.


	4. Won't Go Home Without You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, if you had asked what Rosé was expecting to see when he entered the workroom, it wouldn’t have been that.
> 
> That being feeling unease washing inside him in waves, while he tried to maintain his composure outside. Having Denali crossing the threshold of the workroom with him was nonetheless reassuring. He could barely hold back from gripping the shorter one’s hand tightly in his need for comfort — but that would be weird. So he settled for grazing his lower back with the tips of his fingers before giving all his attention to the winners’ group waiting for them with judgment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonjour/hi, happy Valentine's day! Here's a small update to tide us over for the week, as I usually don't have much time to write after work.  
> Also, I'm in a great mood today, so here we are!  
> Hope you're all still enjoying this story; if you have any theory about the next parts and/or favorite parts, don't hesitate to tell me, I'd love to hear it.  
> This is the first chapter with all of the group!  
> Song used for the title and lyrics at the start is Won't Go Home Without You by Maroon 5.

_It's not over tonight_

_Just give me one more chance to make it right_

_I may not make it through the night_

_I won't go home without you_

Honestly, if you had asked what Rosé was expecting to see when he entered the workroom, it wouldn’t have been _that_.

_That_ being feeling unease washing inside him in waves, while he tried to maintain his composure outside. Having Denali crossing the threshold of the workroom with him was nonetheless reassuring. He could barely hold back from gripping the shorter one’s hand tightly in his need for comfort — but that would be weird. So he settled for grazing his lower back with the tips of his fingers before giving all his attention to the winners’ group waiting for them with judgment. 

Of course, he instantly clocked Olivia and smiled lightly at her. He was glad to see she was still there after all. He was also absolutely unimpressed to see Kandy and Tina, as he knew them from New York, but the three last queens were unknown to him. Their group was also the same numbers as theirs, so Rosé assumed they had a double top last week and no elimination. 

Absentmindedly, as everyone was starting to talk together after greetings, his gaze fell upon the shortest queen of their group, and Rosé frowned. There was something he couldn’t place, and it was making him antsy, nervously fidgeting with his outfit. He knew Denali was on his side if he needed anything, but there were also cameras and hungry ears for drama, so it would have to wait for the night. 

It seemed like fixating on someone actually can get their attention, and Rosé was startled when pale blue eyes caught his own. However, he was even more surprised when the other queen averted their eyes really quickly, and unless he was mistaken, he had clearly seen a hint of a blush underneath the makeup layers. What was even going on here? He glanced at Denali for a second and cocked an eyebrow seeing his dark eyes, narrowed, also fixating the blue-eyed queen. 

Well, put that on the list of “ _weird things we have to discuss on our balconies at night_ ” category. 

* * *

Honestly, for all his bravado and sharp wit, Rosé wasn’t too sure where to start about earlier. So many things had happened in such a short span of time. They were just chilling on their respective balcony, calm in each other’s presence. He didn’t want to break that spell, even for a second. But whenever Rosé closed his eyes for more than a second, he could still see the endless depths of the blue gaze of the other queen. A wave of uneasiness rushed through him once more, goosebumps breaking on his skin in the still-hot temperature of Los Angeles at night. 

“Rosie?”

He merely hummed, not trusting his voice to do its job at the time being.

“Are you cold? You’re shivering.” 

Rosé opened his eyes fully this time and turned to face his soulmate. He only saw worry creasing Denali’s traits and frowned. He didn’t want to take him down the same lane. “I’m okay, I just — I don’t know, it’s stupid. Maybe it’s not, but it feels like it, and I hate feeling like this,” Rosé finally choked out, a hand coming to partly cover his face. “I also hate that we can’t be together. I hate that the only time I get to be real _close_ to you is with the whole world watching us.” 

Denali stayed silent for a moment, watching him cautiously, as Rosé let his hand roam on his forearms to calm down the persistent shivering. “You know I feel the same, right?” When Rosé nodded, he continued. “But somehow, I don’t think _this_ is about _us_ especially, yeah? You know like all the little things keep adding up, and it somehow blows out of proportion — well, something made you tip over, and I wanna know.”

“I don’t know, it’s not that important -”

“Don’t give me your self-righteous bullshit, we both know that’s not true, and I care okay? You don’t have to be Rosé, the NYC entertainer 24/7, you know? Not with me. Tell me.” 

Rosé took a gulp of breath and sighed. He couldn’t escape it any longer, and Denali did make some very valid points — he trusted him, maybe a bit too much for a guy he met only a few weeks ago. He nevertheless appreciated the way Denali handled it all — Rosé had expected him to be way too overbearing and too soft, but the Mexican-American just didn’t give a shit, he ran straight through all his barriers and tore them down faster than a storm. Denali was caring, yes, but didn’t treat him like he was fragile, and knew exactly how and where to push to get a reaction.

“What do you think about Mik?” 

He saw Denali furrowing his brow for a second, apparently not expecting that question. Rosé watched in curiosity the face of his soulmate get confused for a moment, his mouth slightly agape as if he wanted to say something but wasn’t too sure of what exactly. “The shortie?” 

Rosé let out a laugh. “You’re barely taller, Nali.” 

“And he’s still the smallest of the group. Your point?”

Rosé put his hands up to defend himself and shrugged, as Denali let his arms hang loosely in the gap between their balconies, a far-away look in his dark eyes. 

“What about Mik, then?”

“You didn’t feel anything… strange?” 

“Not really — he’s cute. Got talent for sure. Not much else to say.” 

“But you were watching him.”

“So were you.”

Rosé smirked. “Yeah, but _I_ admitted it was weird. You didn’t. So?” 

“Well, what do you want me to say? Something feels off, okay? I don’t know. I don’t like _nor_ trust him.”

“You don’t even know him,” countered Rosé simply. 

“Exactly — and I got a weird feeling. You wanted my opinion, I’m giving it to you.” 

“Fine. You’re sure it’s not something else?”

Denali sighed in irritation. “What else could it be? Like he’s just a random queen from LA. Who cares?” 

Rosé sighed. He had wanted to talk more about it, but somehow, Denali didn’t seem to care much about the subject — which surprised the Scottish queen. Usually, the Alaskan was the first one to babble about random things all the time and keep the conversation going, as Rosé was happy to sit back and listen with a smile. 

He decided to let it go for the moment, weirdly hoping that Denali would warm up to Mik eventually, or else the morning walk to get to the studio _and_ the workroom would feel icy. Because, of course, as destiny liked to mess with him, Mik was the only other one of the group to be on the same floor as them — and now that the winners and losers groups had merged, well, it meant they’d see a lot more of each other. 

* * *

“Hey, you’re ready for the runway? How did the shooting go with your group?”

Rosé glanced up at his friend from his outfit for the runway and smiled. He had wanted to have a chance to talk with Olivia since they were now all together in the same competition. He brushed off a few of his clothes from the bench near him, and Olivia instantly sat down. “Sorry, the blue tissue gets _everywhere_. I had to make last-minute touch-ups, as you can see”. 

Rosé brought a hand to hold his chin, looking around the workroom. “I think… I think I’m ready, yeah. And filming went well, my character is really dumb but funny. But on your side, how did it go with your group?”

Olivia had a somewhat mischievous twinkle in her eyes, and Rosé braced himself for what was coming next. “It went okay. Were you asking to know about Denali?” 

“What? Why? Why would you say that?”

“Don’t play coy, you’re always watching over her with your eyes. And wherever she goes, you go too. Also, you look pretty panicked right now for just a simple question.”

Rosé groaned, closing his eyes for a second. “Fine, fine. I-I mean, I…” 

“Whoa. Is Rosé being speechless for once? Where’s all that wit? Down her throat or something, she caught your tongue?” 

Rosé gasped, only managing to somehow choke on air all on his own, and coughed harshly. He was helped by a pretty amused Olivia, patting him on the back to help him through it. When it finally stopped — and he was able to gulp a few sips of much-needed water, he saw the apologetic look of Olivia and sighed. For all her soft and delicate aura, she could really go to town sometimes when she was curious. 

“She’s my soulmate. Denali, I mean. One of them — You understand, yeah?” 

“Yeah, I heard about your tale of two soulmates backstage in the city. That’s pretty cool, though, no?!”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Olivia frowned, watching his moody expression with surprise. “You don’t think so? I know we’re not super close, but I’ve always thought of you as the hopeless romantic one when your soulmates were concerned. And now you have one! Here of all the places! And besides, she can help you find the other one, right? You have the same?”

“Yeah, we do.” 

“Come on Rosé, gimme something more than a few syllables here — this is big!”

“ _I know_. I’m just, I don’t know. I don’t wanna mess it up. I don’t wanna mess up our run here either,” he admitted, a hand tousling his brown hair slightly. 

He saw Olivia’s face twist into something closer to pity and compassion, and he almost groaned. That was something Rosé had wanted to avoid, as well. 

“You know… Soulmates don’t have to be lovers,” hesitantly started the other New York queen simply, a hand softly holding his own. Rosé nodded wordlessly, not quite sure of what he was supposed to say or think at that very moment. 

He wasn’t dumb — he knew they didn’t have to date or anything. Having a soulmate and finding them didn’t necessarily mean _get together and be happy forever_. Plenty of people stayed as close friends in fear of messing it all up in a romantic relationship and then losing their soulmate forever. But there was _something_ there with Denali, and he just felt compelled to pursue it endlessly, soulmate or not. Or maybe he was just a stubborn dumbass. Either way, staying just friends wasn’t exactly an option Rosé was looking forward to in the long-term. 

“Think about it. But I can understand that you’d want more with her — and I, huh, I think it’s _definitely_ reciprocal if you were wondering,” murmured Olivia, her eyes fixated on a point behind Rosé’s shoulder and biting her lip to keep from laughing. 

“... What’s behind my shoulder that you’re laughing at?”

“Let’s just say that I may or may not be on Denali’s list of favorite people right now.” 

On this, Olivia gave his hand a last squeeze and left him to his modifications. Hesitantly, he turned around and instantly caught the obsidian eyes he knew so well. Tilting his head, he mouthed a “ _are you okay_?” at his soulmate, who shrugged and finally nodded, diverting his gaze almost immediately. 

Rosé sighed. He knew that _he_ had no interest in pursuing Olivia, the soulmate thing or not, but he realized that maybe, Denali didn’t know that. They never really talked about it, and he _had_ complimented the other New York queen quite heavily to Denali after she beat him fair and square on the first lip-sync performance. 

Awesome. Just another thing he’d have to clarify while talking on a stupid balcony. After yesterday’s little thing about Mik, Rosé wasn’t too eager for that one either. Having a soulmate and being so dependent on them was more trouble than he had expected. 

* * *

“I gotta tell you something,” Rosé started with an uneven voice, fingers twirling with his flannel’s sleeve uneasily. 

“What did you do this time?”

“I didn’t do anything!” When he caught Denali’s absolutely unimpressed face, he relented. “Fine, I might have done a _little_ something.” 

“Go on.” 

“I, huh, might have told Olivia. About the soulmate thing.” 

“It’s fine, I suppose that’s fair — I told Kahmora, you told Olivia. They both knew us back in our cities, they’re our friends, so it’s not that much of a problem, right?” 

“Right.”

“But we can’t tell anyone else — or we’re gonna blow our cover. Okay?” 

“Yeah, of course, you’re right,” instantly agreed Rosé with a soft smile, deciding to let the earlier interaction — _jealousy_ , his mind provided unhelpfully — go for the time being. “You’re taking this so much better than I thought you would.”

“I don’t know, I guess I understand? It’s scary. We’re together against the world, quite literally. Our usual support network isn’t here — we can’t talk to our families, our friends. We’re not superheroes, we’re just drag queens. It’s normal to seek for someone to help, apart from each other.” 

“When did you become so wise, precious Angel?” 

Rosé smiled, even more, when he saw the flustering face of his soulmate, who tried to hide it inside his hoodie. “Shut up, dork,” mumbled Denali with a soft smile regardless. “I wish I could hide inside your arms, sometimes,” he admitted with the softest tone Rosé had ever heard, his heart skipping a beat. “Not face the world anymore, just letting you protect me until I’m ready.” 

“You know I’m always gonna be here for that, right? Even on the show. After. I don’t care, I’m not letting you go alone in this world anymore.” 

Denali’s dark eyes were shining brighter than Rosé ever saw them do before, and he knew what that meant instantly without any of them to say it. He just smiled and took the fingers his soulmate had extended towards him into his own delicately.

* * *

Every time he came back on the runway, he felt a bit less threatened — even as he was still stressed, and not just for him. Rosé watched with interest the performances of the other groups in the cheesy movies they had to act in that week. He wasn’t surprised of his group doing well; Symone clearly had done a good job, and so did he. 

However, he wasn’t too sure of Denali’s group, which seemed to struggle a lot more than he had expected. Rosé frowned nervously. The third group did alright, nothing outstanding, but nothing abyssal either. Hearing the vibes from the judging panel wasn’t giving him much faith. Was Denali going to land himself in the bottom that early? He could only hope that not, and if it was, then it was only a misstep. 

As soon as RuPaul dismissed them from the stage to film the dreaded Untucked, Rosé made a beeline for Denali, easily following his white trail of footsteps left behind as he had been held back by Symone who congratulated him for their group performance and critics. Not for the first time, he thanked every star that he could just follow his soulmate so easily and never really lose sight of him even if he wanted to.

Denali was simply leaning against one of the sofas, absentmindedly twirling the straw in his drink. He had a forlorn look in his dark eyes, which heavily contrasted with the high colors of his chosen outfit for the runway. His soulmate looked so unbearably lost that Rosé felt his heart thump painfully against his ribs as it was beating unevenly. 

Before he went to take Denali away, he looked around a bit, the other queens were deep in their own drama and for once, he felt thankful for the diversion. Rosé stopped his gaze on Mik, and tilted his head slightly in confusion — the other queen wasn’t even looking at him. 

He was looking straight at Denali, with an indescribable look swirling in his pale eyes. Well, that _was_ confusing. Rosé wanted to investigate a bit more, but he felt a hand land on his forearm and turned to see Denali who was now watching Mik with narrowed eyes once more. The shorter one seemed to straighten his position sharply, not averting his gaze for a second, until Denali huffed and broke it himself. 

Rosé had never been that puzzled in his entire life. What was even going on between the two? They had never even talked to each other yet. They weren’t in the same group for the challenge. Not only that, but they didn’t sit near each other in the workroom or in the van to get back to the hotel. Rosé coughed slightly, making Denali grasp at his hand and drag him away. He didn’t complain. He knew the other queen needed someone to comfort and protect him for a moment, and he had promised to do so. Whatever it took — Rosé was happy to do it. 

* * *

He knew that the cameras probably had a field day with how Rosé had fussed over his soulmate, but at that very moment, he couldn’t find it in himself to care much. The second a tear had fallen from Denali’s dejected eyes, he couldn’t help it — it was as if a switch had been turned on inside him, and he instantly went into overdrive protective mode. Anything else — the crew, the other queens, Mik — just ran out of his head. 

Rosé was pretty sure he did a good job to prepare Denali for a future lip-sync if necessary, and while he wasn’t surprised to see him land in the bottom with Kahmora, he still cringed inwardly. This wasn’t going to be pretty — his soulmate was a fierce competitor who liked to block all interference once he got into the zone, and Rosé could see it happening from his point of view. He almost felt bad for Kahmora, who was also his soulmate’s friend. 

He watched the lights go down and the performance went exactly the way he had known it would — Denali was slaying it, while Kahmora seemed resigned to be the forgotten character in the background of the light of her friend. He was nodding and cheering along with the song, eyes stuck on the only person that mattered at that very moment. Rosé still let his gaze wander for a second, his green eyes instantly falling on the blue and pink dress of Mik. The shorter one had his eyes riveted to Denali and wasn’t wavering even for a second — that was a big accomplishment in itself, as he was flanked by Kandy and Tina who were loudly talking. Rosé still frowned — why was he even so intensely focused on a queen he hadn’t even talked to once? One that he basically had a stare showdown just a few minutes ago? 

Really, nothing was making sense today. 

Rosé itched to just move and plant himself firmly next to Mik as they’d have a fun time watching Denali performing the house down. Alas, he was stuck at the very end of the line of queens. He mentally hoped the other queen would turn his gaze to his own. Rosé wasn’t even so sure why he wanted that — he just did. That was stupid. 

Well, it was stupid until Mik actually turned to Rosé’s side of the scene, and the Scottish queen couldn’t help the rising smirk making its way on his painted lips. He raised an eyebrow in curiosity as if to ask the other _what are you doing?_ and Mik just bites down on his lip, turning away, his gaze almost immediately coming back to the end of lip-syncing. 

Well, if that wasn’t a thing that would make the list of “ _weird things we have to discuss on our balconies at night_ ”, Rosé didn’t know what would. Because there was no way in hell Denali was going home after this performance, or he would personally throw a fit. 

* * *

“I saw him watching you, you know. For the three seconds I stopped watching you, that is.” 

Denali laughed in a low tone and turned to fully watch him with interest. “Who was watching? Apart from you, _obviously_.” 

“Mik. It’s not the first time he stares at you, either.”

Rosé heard more than saw the groan Denali let out after his sentence, and smiled kindly. He had come to know that Mik wasn’t his soulmate’s favorite subject of conversation, and that was putting it pretty lightly. He wasn’t too sure where it stemmed from, but it was still there. Both of them were just looking at each other like bloodthirsty predators, and Rosé was somewhat stuck in the middle against his will. While Rosé had never said no to be the middle part, sandwiched between two handsome people, he wasn’t exactly into their weird hunt ritual. 

“Come on, Nali, talk to me -”

“Rosé, please, I had a pretty shitty day, and I just sent home one of my best friends. Can we just, I don’t know, not talk about this?”

“I’m sorry,” instantly relented Rosé. 

Denali waved his hand around, signifying that it was nothing, and Rosé stayed silent, turning his gaze away. The city, even more in the evening, was buzzing with entertainment — and yet here they were, stuck in their rooms like criminals. Rosé wanted to hug his soulmate tight against him, and just fall asleep watching over him, their limbs all tangled up together. The yearning never stopped, especially when Denali was hurting. 

“You know, we can still talk. I just… I’m a bit overwhelmed, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, I understand. I shouldn’t have pushed it. I know you don’t wanna hear about it,” admitted Rosé, a meek expression on his face, for a rare moment. He didn’t dare to make a move towards the other, even if that was all that he wanted. 

They stayed silent for a bit longer, their eyes fixated on the LA cityscape. Deeply distracted by the lines of light coming from the streets below, Rosé barely caught from the corner of his eye Denali’s extended hand and latched onto his fingers immediately. The relief that came with it every time was well worth stomping on his misplaced pride and stubbornness for once. 

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah?”  
  


“What color are my footprints?”

Denali watched him with curiosity for a second. “Wait, I never told you? You’re sure?”

“I would remember. I’ve just always wondered.” 

“Rosie, they’re _pink_. I’ve always seen your pink trail from far away,” remembered Denali with a wistful look on his traits. 

Rosé made a flabbergasted face. His trail, his color was _pink_? Whoa. How convenient was that? It made him smile enthusiastically. He knew that sometimes, the color of someone’s footprints was linked to their personalities or their taste, but that was just perfect. 

“Can I ask you a question?,” wondered Denali, mirroring his earlier statement.

“Sure,” he nodded almost solemnly. 

“Tomorrow, can you give me a hug first thing in the morning? I really need that _now_ , but we’re a bit stuck here aren’t we.” 

“Well, unless you can jump over the railing, yeah, we are.”

  
“Or if one of us takes out the PA outside.” 

Rosé snorted, highly amused by his soulmate’s suggestion. “You know what? I’d prefer if we didn’t jeopardize our chances at the crown like that.”

“Fair enough.” 

Rosé squeezed the fingers he kept a hold over their balconies. “I promise the first thing I do in the morning is giving you a big, warm hug.”

Denali scratched at his chin for a second. “But real talk, do you think I could make that jump?”

“NO!”

They both laughed so hard after that, that Rosé was certain all their neighbors had heard them — and he didn’t care. He was happy with Denali — and he would keep enjoying it for as long as possible.


	5. Afraid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He sighed — he had been the one to propose to sleep in their actual bed instead of destroying their bones, but now Rosé wasn’t so sure of his choice anymore. He would have gladly taken aching pains every morning to avoid seeing the dark circles underneath Denali’s beautiful dark eyes. But a part of him knew this was for the best — they needed to get used to it, want it or not. Every passing week, Rosé was becoming more scared that one of them would leave abruptly, leaving the other distraught.
> 
> And every single day left him falling more for the other queen. 
> 
> And God, if Rosé wasn’t afraid before, he was now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonjour/hi, welcome to your weekly update with these dumbasses! The plot thickens in this chapter, and also as a fair warning: I'm not responsible of whatever emotions the ending might give!  
> Hope you're all still enjoying this story; if you have any theory about the next parts and/or favorite parts, don't hesitate to tell me, I'd love to hear it.  
> Song used for the title and lyrics at the start is Afraid by Nelly Furtado.

_You speak out, all you feel is defiance_

_All you need is some self-reliance_

_'Cause this world is gonna always try us_

_And all you wanted was to run for cover_

_Well here's looking to yourself and no other_

_We're all searching for that special something_

_And we keep on running_

There was something inherently funny in seeing everyone rushing by and panicking to finish all their looks for the runway, a ball. Simultaneously, Rosé was also agitated by the whole ordeal but was used to keep it deeply locked inside until he could let it out — usually when he was performing or sleeping with someone. But unfortunately, he could do neither of those things while being stuck in the workroom and, afterward, in his boring hotel room. 

So Rosé guessed that he would have to settle for singing at night in his room and spend his day following Denali with his eyes. All that with very pure intentions, of course — or not. He couldn’t be expected nor trusted to not lust after his soulmate, especially in a stressful environment without any kind of release possible. But right now, Rosé was more concerned than anything. 

Especially since Denali was laying with his head down his arms on one of the workroom tables, probably desperate — or just tired. Rosé knew he hadn’t slept a lot lately, since they had started to go to bed at reasonable hours to lie in their beds alone instead of sleeping on the balcony.   
  


He sighed — he had been the one to propose to sleep in their actual bed instead of destroying their bones, but now Rosé wasn’t so sure of his choice anymore. He would have gladly taken aching pains every morning to avoid seeing the dark circles underneath Denali’s beautiful dark eyes. But a part of him knew this was for the best — they needed to get used to it, want it or not. Every passing week, Rosé was becoming more scared that one of them would leave abruptly, leaving the other distraught.

And every single day left him falling more for the other queen. 

And God, if Rosé wasn’t afraid before, he was _now_. 

So he did the only thing he could think of — he tried to avoid Denali, at least in the workroom. 

It probably was a mistake, but Rosé braced himself and carried on, seemingly unbothered. Except that every time he caught Denali’s obsidian eyes with his own, and saw the plea in them, his heart broke a bit more. 

* * *

In the end, people had told him he wouldn’t be able to resist his soulmate’s pull for long, especially if they were in the same room. Rosé had brushed it off to his friends and acquaintances having no self-control whatsoever, but right now he was starting to understand what they meant. He barely lasted a few hours during the day before he broke down and made his way to Denali’s table, dropping beside him without any preamble. He saw the Alaskan jump a bit, and grip his forearm to avoid dropping from his seat in his fright. 

Rosé knew it was selfish, but he was already feeling better just being near him. Without thinking about it, he squeezed Denali’s hand with his own, smiling at the softening gaze the other was sending him. 

“Thank you for coming here, I was in the middle of breakdown number three,” admitted Denali with a forced laugh, pushing away his drawing book and closing it in relief. 

“Number three? Girl, it’s only noon.” 

“Shut up, it’s hard okay — especially when you’re all gloomy a few tables back, and I can’t help but be worried for you.” 

“Ah, so you enjoy looking at me,” flaunted Rosé with a smug expression, as Denali smacked his shoulder lightly, barely moving him.

“Why did I ever say that, now your ego won’t fit the door — too bad you won’t get to the runway. Maybe I’ll have a chance to be safe if that happens.” 

Rosé frowned, not liking the self-loathing he heard in his friend’s voice. “Hey, you got this. You just need to relax, babe. Your plans look great, the first look too, I’m not afraid for you. But maybe you should stop looking at me so much to _actually_ finish it.”

“Dumbass, just go, _go_ , you’re not helping me,” whined Denali with a pout. 

Rosé laughed out loud, pleased to have helped his friend calm down a little — he already felt the change in Denali’s aura or something. That, and his soulmate was watching him with nothing short of endearment clear in his dark eyes, which should have been scaring Rosé more, but it didn’t. It felt like home far away from the _real_ one. 

* * *

Rosé was pretty sure nothing else could either startle or stress him out more than anything that already happened in the workroom during the last days, but here he was. In mere _minutes_ , he had to face two almost simultaneous crises, and that was way more than what the Scottish queen could handle on a good day. 

Today was definitely not a good day. 

Today was also a very _weird_ day if anyone dared to ask Rosé. 

First, because of course, Denali had chosen to wear one of his t-shirts in the workroom. Honestly, Rosé was enjoying it — he loved to see Denali wear his clothes, and so far, he had made sure that the other had quite a few to choose from. So, it was not a problem. 

_Until_ Olivia, by some memory magic trick or something, actually asked the Alaskan if it was one of Rosé’s things. How did the other queen even know that?! They barely knew each other from before and had solely worked together in New York. 

_Until_ Rosé remembered that he had worn that very same shirt on the first day of filming before throwing it carelessly on Denali’s side of the balcony when the other had whined how he wasn’t comfy in his things. 

Honestly, it would have been fine if it had been _only_ Olivia — because she was a softie, and while she liked to raise hell from time to time, she knew better than to start this whole thing in the workroom when Rosé already looked exasperated, and Denali on the verge of her fourth breakdown of the day before the afternoon even started. 

But with his incredible luck, Tina _and_ Kandy also took note of it and instantly started babbling about the whole thing — and for anyone who had even been close to Kandy, the queen was nothing but subtle. 

In seconds, everyone in the workroom — the queens, the filming crew, _hell_ , the people outside at this point — might as well have known too. 

They were screwed. There was no damage control good enough to alleviate this. That’s what Rosé thought, pinching at the bridge of his nose, feeling the telltale signs of a headache coming. 

Until Denali started sprouting a whole goddamn story about how the shirt was _not_ Rosé’s, but his own, from one of his ex-boyfriends. Conveniently, they just looked similar. It was a wonder if anyone bought it, but Olivia, probably realizing how badly Rosé wanted to spontaneously combust, nodded along with the story, saying that Rosé’s shirt had holes at the bottom instead. The whole scene stopped, and while the Scottish queen knew it would make the show’s edit (and people would continue talking about it), it was better than nothing. 

Rosé had to grit his teeth together to avoid making a scene out of this — this was their only way out — and brutally stomped in his head on the rising jealousy and possessiveness. He didn’t exactly want to think about other guys having their way with his soulmate, and grasped at his hair roughly in a vague attempt at calming down. 

He easily caught the apologetic look in Denali’s dark eyes when he raised his own, but averted it almost instantly. They needed to be more careful. Now more than ever. 

Seemed like he was back on running away duty for a moment. 

* * *

Rosé couldn’t even believe his own eyes. While he had tried to keep his distance during the day, explaining it to Denali at night, who highly disapproved but went along with it, it meant that they spent more time talking with the other queens in the room. That was fine, it wasn’t the problem — or, more accurately, _the situation_ he could see bloom in front of his green eyes with both disbelief and curiosity. 

He wasn’t dumb nor blind, and while he _tried_ to keep away from his soulmate — at least until the rumors started to quell a bit — he had still seen Denali struggle with some part of his outfit for the ball, the black one with the long cape thing. Rosé was debating going over there and just helping him since he was almost done with his looks anyway. 

But someone had beaten him to it — and it wasn’t anyone he’d have expected to do it. 

It was Mik. Of all the people who could have gone there to help, it had to be him. Rosé wasn’t worried about the whole talent thing, as anyone with eyes could see that Mik was pretty damn good to design outfits, but it was more of the situation that stressed Rosé. The two had never really interacted together, and the few times they had exchanged gazes, it was so tense even Rosé cringed inwardly just remembering it. 

Yet here they were, _laughing_ _together_ from what seemed to be a quip from Mik, and Rosé was certain he was now in a dystopian version of this reality. The shorter queen was pointing at a few things on Denali’s outfit, and the Alaskan was nodding along, watching Mik with a softened gaze. _Wait, what?_

Rosé knew he must have looked awkward, standing there with his mouth agape, watching the two other queens like that, but he couldn’t help it. It was so out of character for both of them, even if he couldn’t say he knew Mik as well as he knew Denali. 

Rosé couldn’t get what they were saying to each other because he was a bit too far away — and let’s be real, their cast was quite loud, that’s how Denali and he had gotten away with a few talks before. But he sure had eyes, and he could see the flustered state of Mik and narrowed his eyes. Was this how Denali had felt before? Threatened? It wasn’t really that though — it was something else, something he couldn’t exactly pinpoint. But his chest felt weird and his heart thumped unsteadily watching them interact together. 

That would now require a dedicated investigation, Rosé decided, while folding some pieces of clothes laying on his table. 

* * *

Honestly, Rosé could have started the investigation with Denali when they were alone, but he knew damn well how defensive the younger queen got whenever he dared to utter a word about Mik. So Rosé dropped that plan, for now, and instead was rushing straight for plan B: talking to the other concerned person. 

It’s not like he hadn’t wanted to have an excuse to drop by and talk with Mik, but he was always surrounded by Kandy and Tina, who, for some reason, acted like mother hens around him. And while Rosé didn’t dislike either of the other NYC queens, he liked to keep his talks private. 

However, by some twist of fate, he got lucky and found a moment in the workroom when Mik was alone, working on the last touches for one of his outfits. Rosé knew the other queen was also well-ahead, and thus, didn’t feel much shame in going to distract him for a few minutes. 

“So… That was a nice thing, helping out Denali earlier.” 

Rosé saw the shorter one turn around and watch him with a small smile. He was so used to Denali jumping out of his skin every time he managed to surprise him — which was awkward considering the other could _see_ his footprints — it was a nice change. Mik tilted his head and shrugged. 

“She needed help. I could see her struggle from miles away, but I was just one table removed. Can you imagine what it looked like from so close?!” 

Rosé almost choked on his breath at this and laughed heartily. “You definitely prevented her fourth breakdown of that day, for sure.” 

“Fourth? It was like, only noon though?” 

Rosé smiled at the curious mirroring in their ways of talking about Denali’s issues with stress and shrugged his shoulders lightly, leaning against the workroom table to be more comfortable. 

“She’s like that when she gets in her head.” 

“Hmm. At least she’s still here, right? After last week’s lip-sync, I mean — you must be happy.” 

“I mean, with the way you were watching her perform, I’d say you’re almost as happy as I am, no?” 

Maybe Rosé was pushing it a bit, but he was onto something here and wasn’t going to leave it be for a while, akin to an animal chomping down on something and refusing to let go. _It was all in the legendary stubbornness_ , his friends would have said. 

“I guess… I didn’t really wanna see her go so soon, you know? Don’t ask me why,” added Mik with a clear warning in his soft voice, seeing Rosé’s mouth open with even more objections. “I don’t know. She’s good, she deserves to be here, still.” 

“I mean, I’m really happy she’s still here, and I agree with what you said.” 

“You know what? You two are pretty cute together,” started Mik in a tone Rosé wasn’t able to decipher, also coming closer to lean against the table like himself. He just felt the overwhelming need to justify himself and ease the whole thing. 

“I… It ain’t like that, not really,” he began hesitantly, a hand tousling his brown hair uneasily. 

Rosé wanted it to be, but on set? It wasn’t realistic. Besides, even when they would leave, they still lived in totally different parts of the country. He was fiercely independent, and yet couldn’t imagine not seeing or talking to Denali every day, so how would the other react? He hated to think about it and shook his head a bit. 

“Come on, there’s clearly something, gorg,” pushed Mik with a lighthearted smile flashing on his face, a hand brushing hesitantly against his forearm. Rosé frowned at the same pleasant feeling it brought him, the same way Denali did whenever they touched. Forgoing that feeling for a second, he still felt compelled to confide in the younger queen for some reason. 

“Well… Keep it down, okay? But she’s my soulmate.”

He saw Mik’s pale blue eyes widen in surprise, and the shadow of something went through in his eyes for a second, but it was gone before Rosé could analyze it. 

“Whoa. I don’t think there’s much more you could say now that would surprise me.”

“I also have a second soulmate. I just don’t know where they are.” 

Mik put his hands back on the table for support, seemingly shaken up, his face going ghastly. 

“Okay, well, scratch that, I’m _surprised_.” 

“Yeah, I’m sure you are,” mumbled Rosé, his gaze dropping to the ground, and avoiding the expression the other sported.

There was a lull in the conversation for a moment, until Mik moved slightly — and Rosé let him do as he pleased. The Scottish queen could feel his hesitation, but Mik still pushed through, taking a hold of his hand delicately. Absentmindedly, Rosé noticed how cold Mik’s hand was compared to his own, and how it fit so well into his own. He just felt comfortable, and that was the scariest part of it all. He wished he wasn’t under the stare of the cameras and the other queens, and just alone with the younger one instead. 

Rosé would have loved to just hold him close against his heart, a hand coming to thread slowly in Mik’s brown hair as they just enjoyed each other’s presence. He almost recoiled after that thought — the one that was usually reserved for Denali, only. His self-flagellation was fortunately interrupted by Mik suddenly speaking up. 

“You know… I also have a soulmate that I didn’t meet yet. Or maybe I did. I have things to not see them and for them to not see me, you know?” 

“Why’s that?”

“I’m just… afraid of disappointing them, I guess? It’s scary. Even if it’s not necessary to become a romantic relationship, I just… feel like I’m never gonna be enough for them, never gonna be what they want,” Mik admitted bitterly, and Rosé squeezed his hand softly, caressing the top of it with his thumb tenderly — much as he’d do to Denali when he was sad. Once again, he tried to not dwell on what that could mean for now. 

“Look, I don’t know all the reasons why you feel like you could disappoint your soulmate, but I know this — I was super afraid of meeting mine and I still am, because with Denali it’s confusing, and we have a third element of surprise somewhere, too. But if they’re bonded with you, I don’t think you could ever disappoint them. They’ll support you, no matter what — as friends, or more. But you, you’ve never been curious to know who they were?” 

Mik hesitated for a moment before answering. “I don’t know. It’s just been so long since I’ve had my soles and eye contacts that I’m not even sure I remember what their footprints or trails looked like.” 

“Would ever consider… removing them? What do you even do at night?”

“I remove both of them when I’m in bed — and for some reason, I never wake up during the night? So when I wake up, I just instantly put them back in before I can see anything.” 

Rosé frowned, and leaned a bit more on Mik’s side, seeking his warmth almost intuitively. 

“So when you perform…?”

“Still have them both.” 

“You really are devoted to this whole hiding thing, huh?” 

“Maybe,” admitted Mik with a careful smile. 

“Well,” started Rosé, dragging it along while getting up, “if you ever find yourself curious about them, I suggest you remove at least your eye contacts to see their trails. It might be a fun surprise? Who knows — and if they hurt you, you can always send your newfound NYC mother hens after them,” Rosé finished, ruffling Mik’s hair playfully as the younger one pushed him away, laughing along. 

What Rosé didn’t quite catch in his periphery was the narrowed dark eyes of Denali fixated on them both and the snap of a pencil under the hands of the Alaskan. 

* * *

When RuPaul announced that Mik was the winner of this week’s challenge, Rosé was amongst one of the loudest cheering queens on the stage. Regardless of his feelings towards being safe once more, he was happy for his friend. They had spent quite a lot of time together since their first conversation, and Rosé was delighted about it. It meant he could concentrate on something else than Denali for once, especially since they were still trying to keep it low. 

However, Rosé still hadn’t told his soulmate that Mik knew about it, and wasn’t exactly looking forward to it. He wasn’t even sure how to approach the whole topic without a crisis. 

He moved his gaze around, happy to see the others also cheering for Mik, and caught Denali’s eyes, watching the LA queen and seemingly being happy with his win. Rosé didn’t see anything in his body language that proposed any unfavorable emotions. He sighed inwardly. He knew he had to tell him about the whole soulmate thing tonight since it concerned both of them. Denali deserved to know, and he didn’t want to hide it any longer. But for now, Rosé was quite happy to bask in the cheerfulness on the stage. 

* * *

Rosé had never considered himself a coward, but somehow, this time, it felt like it. He hoped for the best, for Denali to just nod along and carry on, but there was something — especially since it was related to Mik — that was telling him that none of his plans would go well that night. Knowing all of this, he still waited a good part of the evening until they both were watching the sky together, the night engulfing them completely. 

“Denali?”

“Whoa, am I in trouble? You never use my full name when we’re alone,” he joked. When Rosé didn’t instantly deny his claim, he frowned. “Wait, am I?” 

“No! No, I just… I need to tell you something, and I know you won’t be happy about it.” 

Denali sighed, a hand coming to pinch at his nose bridge — something he had caught from Rosé himself, the Scottish queen realized with a hint of a smile. 

“Well, you can’t just drop that and not say it, so do it.” 

Rosé cringed a bit but just decided to rip the band-aid once and for all. “I told Mik.” 

“You told Mik what? Because you sure sounded all cozy with him earlier,” accused Denali and Rosé instantly knew it wasn’t going to end well. 

“I… I told Mik we were soulmates,” he admitted in the tiniest of all voices, his head retracting into his shoulders, bracing himself for the worse. 

“Rosé, for fuck’s sake, this is getting out of control! We can barely _touch_ each other anymore because of the stupid rumors from _your_ shirt, and now this? I thought we agreed to keep it down at least for filming!” 

“Well, it’s not like they won’t know eventually! I mean, who cares? They’re supposed to be our sisters. We just gotta keep it low for the cameras, if the others know I don’t care much, I’ve said it before.” 

Denali looked at him like he was crazy. “Are you stupid? They’re gonna use it against us! Not to say that one of them will likely slip out, as well. Do you really want them to pin us against each other every fucking week?! And you go tell Mik. Of all fucking people.”

“Okay, what’s your goddamn problem with Mik exactly? Because he hasn’t done anything to you, he even helped you, and you looked like a blushing schoolgirl back there, just for your information!” 

“I told you I don’t trust him, and he’s close to Kandy and Tina, _and_ they’re the biggest loudmouths around! This isn’t gonna end well, Rosé, can’t you see?! Stop defending him! You barely know him, _and_ you’re acting like he’s your next best friend!” 

“Oh, so it’s _my_ fault now? I can’t have other friends? I didn’t say anything when Kahmora was here the first week you know,” hissed Rosé in a low voice. 

“And then you told Olivia! And it was fine because I can _trust_ Liv, but Mik?! What do you even see in him?!”

“I don’t know, okay! I don’t know. I just like him, I feel good with him -”

Denali abruptly stopped him with a hand raised and watched him wearily with shiny eyes, ones that instantly made his heart pound painfully. Rosé blinked unhelpfully for a few seconds, before blurting out: “Are you crying?” 

“No!”

“But Nali, I’m just saying I -”

“We’re not having this, I don’t know, fucking dumb conversation where you tell me you like someone else too okay? Especially _not him_. I thought I was strong enough to be your friend and carry on with the competition like it was nothing, and not _touch you_ , and not wear _your clothes_ , and not be _with you_ , but I’m not, okay? I’m not. I just — I can’t.” 

On this, Denali twirled on his heels and made his way back inside his room, leaving Rosé to watch without having a chance to say anything else. He was simply rooted to the ground, his green eyes fixated on the retreating white footprints on the ground before they eventually disappeared. Denali had probably jumped in bed or something like that. 

And Rosé was left there, alone with his thoughts. 

_Did he really like Mik too?_


	6. Higher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosé had a moment of interest when Mik had to pick a team, and absentmindedly, he wished that the LA queen would pick them, even if it would complicate everything. He knew he needed time alone with Denali without avoiding him, but God, he couldn’t help longing for the presence of Mik beside them regardless. 
> 
> Half of him was nonetheless relieved to see him go with Kandy and Tina, as Rosé had more or less expected. They still shared a look, and the Scottish queen frowned at the concern and sadness he saw swirling in the other’s pale blue eyes. Maybe Rosé was reaching, but did Mik want to give them space? Or something along those lines? Honestly, maybe it was just the lack of sleep making him imagine things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonjour/hi, welcome to your new update with these dumbasses! Bless the last episode that just absolutely fueled my hyperfocus and made me write like a madman.  
> Hope you're all still enjoying this story; if you have any theory about the next parts and/or favorite parts, don't hesitate to tell me, I'd love to hear it.  
> We dive more into the "whole soulmate thing" in this chapter.  
> Song used for the title and lyrics at the start is Higher by Shawn Mendes.

_All eyes are lookin' at us_

_But I can't stop fallin' in love_

_Always been the one that I want, yeah_

_Always been the one that I want, yeah_

_Always been the one that I want_

_Wow, look at us now, damn, what have we done?_

Rosé hadn’t slept. How was he supposed to, when all he could see when closing his eyes was the distress he had caused to his soulmate over a stupid thing? He had tried to sleep in his bed, but he was only tossing and turning endlessly every night. Rosé just wanted to leave this goddamn room and apologize to Denali already, explain himself, and just hug him for a few hours so he could finally rest. 

But the reality was: he was stuck in this stupid place until at least the early morning, and even then, he wouldn’t have a lot of time with Denali. Worse, it would be under the watchful eye of the PAs - and of Mik, who was on their floor as well, even if he tended to lowkey avoid them in the morning for some reason. 

But Rosé had a plan — or so he thought. And he executed it to perfection. The first step had been to be prepared early, and be the first outside the room for the day to start. Usually, they gave the other queens a good fifteen minutes to be ready. Rosé was counting on this to basically tear down Denali’s door if it was necessary. 

From the corner of his tired, bloodshot eyes, he could see Mik leaving his room already, and their gaze met for a second too long. The shorter one tilted his head slightly, probably curious to see him being so early out. But to Rosé’s surprise, Mik seemed more worried about his appearance than anything else. He sent the other a small smile, trying to convey that things would be okay, and apparently, the Californian relented, as he made his way towards the elevator with his PA instead of staying back. 

Rosé sighed and was so busy starting at the end of the hallway where Mik had disappeared that he barely heard the door next to his open and close in quick succession. He turned his head so fast he almost gave himself whiplash. His soulmate was looking just as miserable as him, his eyes marred with prominent dark circles and still puffy from probably crying too much. 

Denali looked on the verge of another breakdown and Rosé was hitching to just pull him against his chest and let him rest for a while. He balled his hands into fists, the knuckles going white almost instantly under the force he applied. Rosé couldn’t resist this for long. He needed to do something, for both of their sakes. 

“Nali? I’m sorry, I just -”

He hadn’t even started his explanations when the other queen just jumped in his arms, trusting him to catch his weight, which Rosé did, albeit a bit shakily at first, caught flat-foot. Fortunately, their PAs just let them have that moment, and honestly, Rosé made a note to just send them a gift after they had left that hell. 

He could feel Denali shaking in his arms, his frame trembling under small sobs he tried his best to keep under wraps. Rosé also felt tears come to his own eyes and hid them away in the other queen’s hair, sighing in relief at feeling him nestled so close to his heart once more. However, he also knew they needed to explain themselves and they only had a few minutes to do so. 

“I’m sorry for yesterday, I understand if you’re angry, and I should have asked you first before going and babbling about our thing everywhere.” 

“No, I… I trust you, Rosie. I really do. If you say it’s safe to tell Mik, then it’s fine. I’m sorry, too,” mumbled Denali, his voice muffled by how his face was squished against Rosé’s chest. 

“I’m also sorry for what I said, you know, related to Mik - and feelings.” 

“Don’t you dare apologize for things you’re feeling, Rosé! I’m serious. I was just, I don’t know, I felt threatened or something for a minute. I know it ain’t like that. I’m sorry. I’m glad you told me, really. Besides, I...”

When Denali stopped, Rosé just pulled him away a little bit to watch his face twist into something akin to guilt, and he tilted his head in curiosity. “Come on Angel, finish your thought.” 

“I mean, I’m just… I _get_ what you feel for him. Or something like that,” he finished, mumbling it. 

But fortunately, Rosé still caught it and his eyebrows were raised at a sky-high level. Before he could say something, with a smug expression clear on his face, Denali put a hand over his mouth and his eyes clearly warned him about trying to say something. “We’re never talking about this again, and I’m gonna bury all these _feelings_ six feet into the ground, deal?” 

“Whatever you say, Angel.”

Rosé was just happy to have found his soulmate back and felt the painful twist in his stomach calm down instantly. For the part of Mik, he could try to analyze that another day - or another decade, if he had his way. 

* * *

But of course, life decided to be cruel with his scarcely awake brain that morning, since he was barely into the workroom flanked by Denali that they were teased mercilessly by the others. 

The others being mostly Kandy and Tina, as usual. Since they knew Rosé from back home, they were used to him being cold and detached from anything related to love. So to suddenly see him pin after someone else was probably extremely amusing to them. Rosé accepted his fate, keeping a tight hold on Denali’s hand for support while they continued with their questions and quips.

After a moment - a guy could only hear so many innuendos about being lovey-dovey with another guy before snapping - he just zoned out, most of his concentration going to playing with Denali’s fingers instead, eyes riveted to the large workroom table for most of it. 

Rosé was surprised when they stopped abruptly, and crossed gazes with Mik, who had a genuinely hurt expression shining in his pale eyes. The mother hens had retreated and were now both flanking each side of the youngest in the group, seemingly concerned. Rosé frowned. Why was Mik so affected by the stupidity of his friends? It wasn’t even directed at him in the first place. 

Rosé didn’t have much time to dwell on it, as the message of the day started, and he decided to compartmentalize it for later, _much_ later. He had a competition to win. 

* * *

When RuPaul finally announced the maxi challenge of the week, Rosé was ecstatic. How could he not? It was a dancing challenge, and, what’s more, he was going to have Denali as his partner for it. That meant that they would probably do well based on previous experiences, but also they would get a chance to be close to each other without raising any suspicions. He knew the last few days had been rough for both of them, as was highlighted by their fight last night. 

Rosé had a moment of interest when Mik had to pick a team, and absentmindedly, he wished that the LA queen would pick them, even if it would complicate everything. He knew he needed time alone with Denali without avoiding him, but God, he couldn’t help longing for the presence of Mik beside them regardless. 

Half of him was nonetheless relieved to see him go with Kandy and Tina, as Rosé had more or less expected. They still shared a look, and the Scottish queen frowned at the concern and sadness he saw swirling in the other’s pale blue eyes. Maybe Rosé was reaching, but did Mik want to give them space? Or something along those lines? Honestly, maybe it was just the lack of sleep making him imagine things. 

He still quickly diverted his gaze away from the younger queen, and instead focused on the whole challenge and the soothing feeling of having Denali back near him. He _absolutely_ didn’t have the time to dwell on this whole new array of feelings hitting him. 

* * *

Rosé was busy arranging one of his outfits for the next runway when he saw from the corner of his eye Mik dragging his feet, barely making an effort whenever he needed to move. He frowned, instantly worried that he had hurt himself or something related to that, and he stopped what he was doing to watch him more carefully. 

The younger didn’t seem to have a limp or anything else, he just lacked energy in general, it seemed. Rosé sighed, he could barely handle seeing him like that and not doing something. If anyone should have been tired and lacking energy, though, it should have been him and Denali, but he was fine. At least, for now, he was - Rosé expected his energy to drop in the middle of the afternoon as usual and leave him two seconds from passing out on the workroom couch. Denali seemed to be the same, as he saw him run around the place all morning, trying out things for the choreography. 

He left behind his outfit for a second and headed for where Mik was still dragging himself from another station silently. 

“Hey, are you alright? Need help with something?”

Mik turned around and barely shrugged. “Dunno, I’m just tired — didn’t sleep a lot last night. Everything feels too far to get to.” He stopped to rake a hand through his brown hair for a second. “It does sound very lazy, but I’m just, I don’t know… You’re so strong, you don’t wanna carry me around by any chance, do you?” 

Rosé hummed and laughed lightly when the idea finally registered in his haze-induced brain, just as Mik carefully brushed his forearm and gave him the biggest case of puppy eyes he had ever seen. “What are you, a damsel in distress?”

“Pretty please, I’ll do something for you later, promise!” 

Rosé faked desperation and nodded if only to avoid the dreaded pout that was sure to make an appearance soon. “Fine, hop on.”

Mik proceeded, a delighted expression illuminating his face, and Rosé picked up the back of his thighs without any trouble, lifting him easily, his muscles flexing. He probably wasn’t the strongest in the room, but Mik weighed next to nothing, so he wasn’t exactly struggling either. At least, not with the weight factor. The feeling of having him so close, though, was another story altogether. 

He could clearly feel the heat radiating from the other’s lithe body pressed against his back, and Mik’s hands carefully grasping his shoulders were going to leave searing marks, Rosé was almost sure of it at this point. He was startled, but not exactly surprised, to have Mik drop more of his weight on him once he had made sure he wouldn’t slip. He knew the other queen was tired, and Rosé was sure he could sleep there if he let him. He found out that he didn’t mind — it was just really cute. 

But since they had other things to prepare — and he had to move away before losing his mind at the way the younger’s face was softly nestled into his neck — he merely moved towards the farthest station, the one belonging to the koala lounging on his back at the very moment. 

“Come on, we’re here,” Rosé coaxed him gently, not moving as to not startle him.

“Hmm,” started Mik, and he did sound like he was three seconds away from a deep slumber, which made Rosé chuckle. “You gotta carry me all day, please, so I can nap in the meanwhile,” he finally mumbled, dropping off on shaky legs, steadying himself against the table. 

Rosé saw Mik try to wash away the sleep from his eyes with his hands rubbing at them, and smiled endearingly. “It’s okay, you know where to find me if you need an Uber, yeah? I gotta go back to my outfit for now, though.” 

“Go on, I’m dismissing you from your Uber duties, _for now,_ gorg.” 

Rosé shook his head in amusement and slowly made his way back towards his table, his green eyes falling on Denali and Olivia talking a bit farther. He wasn’t exactly surprised: he had seen them talk a few times before, but neither of them seemed to have a “normal” expression. He wondered if it was about the whole piggybacking thing, as they had gathered quite a few comments and whistling thrown at them. Rosé guessed he could always ask later on. 

* * *

Rosé knew the kind of expectations that were falling on them both, in a dancing challenge nonetheless. Both he and Denali were talented dancers and choreographers, who moved with ease and thrived under the eyes of others. So to say he had been disappointed to see Denali struggle was an understatement at best — they usually were so in sync that they almost gave whiplash to people following them. 

To an untrained eye, the Mexican-American was probably a great dancer at the very moment. But to his own critical and perfectionist gaze? He was at least a few seconds behind, and their usual chemistry was absent. Most of the time, even in normal things, Rosé and Denali just mirrored each other easily, taking on some habits from the other queen — Rosé knew he had started to hype himself up by jumping up and down much like Denali was usually doing, always needing to move in some kind of way. He also knew Denali had started to play with his sleeves when he was nervous, especially since Rosé was trying to make him quit biting his nails. 

But this was absent as Denali twirled a second too late and Rosé groaned, while the choreographer still praised them and gave them a pass. As they made their way back to sit while the others did their practice, he caught his soulmate’s wrist softly, as to not startle him. 

“You’re in your head.” 

“I’m not.”

“Yes, you are — you’re distracted. You were off. You might be able to trick an untrained eye, but mine? No. I know you can do better than this,” hammered Rosé in a low voice, trying to contain his frustration. “Come on, just talk to me.” 

“I - there’s nothing to say, Rosie, I guess I’m not feeling it today.”

Rosé sighed, releasing his wrist finally. He knew how stubborn Denali could get when he didn’t want to do something, and in this case, it was telling him what the problem was. He just hoped the other would come clean eventually _and_ solve it for both their sakes.

“Well, I hope you’re gonna feel it by the end of the week or else we’ll both drop to the bottom, and I ain’t _feeling_ that one.” 

* * *

Following their discussion after the rehearsal, Rosé had left Denali to go through whatever thing he was getting through. He was still there if he needed help — and they had practiced together all week on their balconies. After a few shaky nights, Denali seemed to pick up the slack and actually managed to be just close enough in sync that most people wouldn’t pick up a thing. Rosé still felt him be kind of absent, but he could handle it. 

On his side, Rosé had spent most of the week in the workroom and the early mornings working along on their choreography, making sure not a single thing was wrong. If his soulmate was struggling with something, it was up to him to uplift them both, at least until Denali could come back from whatever this was. 

That being said, it also meant Rosé spent more time during the week with Mik. He genuinely appreciated the other’s presence and his sharp wit, akin to a hybrid between his own dry sarcasm and Denali’s snappy quips. Also, he didn’t really mind just carrying the younger one around the room, while the other queens just teased them. 

Rosé never had more fun than when he just hopped on Mik’s back and just let him carry them through the threshold of the workroom for one day. He was laughing fondly and somewhat surprised that Mik didn’t drop him, even when he seemed to struggle a bit. Rosé still dropped off as soon as he could, but not without ruffling the other’s hair playfully, which earned him a shove in return. 

Rosé was a bit worried as he prepared for the runway, especially for Denali, but he had to trust that things would go well. They had to. 

* * *

Rosé had left the biggest sigh of relief when RuPaul said that they were safe, and he looked over at Denali, nodding with an encouraging smile. The other queen seemed to be a bit disappointed to not be high, but at this point, Rosé was just happy they had made it another week. What’s more, Mik had also made it safe, so Rosé was riding the wave of adrenaline and knew he would crash very soon, as high-strung as he had been. 

When they were dismissed from the stage, he almost dropped headfirst into one of the couches, but he didn’t, if only to keep face in front of Tina — because he couldn’t care less if either Denali or Mik saw him crash after that goddamn week. 

“Scoot over, make some room for me,” grumbled Denali, just dropping next to Rosé in a careless manner. The Scottish queen realized that the other was just as tired, and he knew that his soulmate usually crashed before him when he was under stress. He still wasn’t sure what had troubled Denali all week, because they hadn’t brushed the subject so far, and he watched the other wearily. 

It all seemed for nothing, though, as he felt the younger one’s hand land on his thigh immediately, almost possessively, and he smiled as he twisted his body to get near Denali more clearly. They shared a look, and Rosé knew Denali would hold on until they could talk about it later — and that’s all that mattered. He had trouble handling all the things happening at the same time, so adding a full-blown emotional conversation on top of this wasn’t advised. 

Honestly, if Rosé hadn’t been _that_ exhausted and worried about Denali’s mood throughout the week running in a loop inside his brain, he might have given more attention to Mik’s runway look for the night. But now, lounging lazily on a sofa next to Denali, who seemed just as mellow as him, Rosé tilted his head to observe the younger one more carefully. 

After all, could someone blame him? Mik barely had clothes on and he had never pretended to be a saint — Rosé knew he was far from it. He was eyeing him with renewed interest, both by what he was seeing and by what it meant to just go on stage and national television almost naked for a runway. It was ballsy — and Rosé respected that. He respected a bit less his current train of thought, which couldn’t flow with the other people in the room and the cameras. He didn’t mind if Denali stayed though, in fact, now that he was thinking about it… Rosé shook his head slightly, trying to delete the thoughts from his brain before it created consequences he didn’t want to deal with. 

Since Mik was sitting just in front of him and Denali, Rosé had a pretty good view, and he barely remembered that other queens were still in the room with them until they spoke about the people still on stage. He could hear what they were saying, but it still went right through his head. Rosé had trouble concentrating, his body was heavy and tired, and his brain cells had fled the premises. If that wasn’t a triple threat deal, he didn’t know what was. 

“Rosé, what do you think of what RuPaul has said to you this week?”

Rosé shrugged, averting his gaze away from Mik for a second — and that wasn’t easy, thank you very much — to focus on the others and answer. “I mean, I guess I gotta chill, I can’t be perfect and I know that but that doesn’t mean I don’t wanna try, you know? I just… they don’t seem to see that. It’s frustrating that I can’t convey what I want to.” 

“You know, I think they have trouble reading you, most of the time. I know I do,” proposed Mik with a small laugh, holding his drink haphazardly while focused on Rosé. “Which is a shame if it really is about that, because to me you’re perfect already.” 

Rosé watched him with a soft smile rising on his painted lips, and wasn’t surprised to see Mik’s face get flustered as he took in the weight of what he had said. It was adorable to watch him like that. Rosé could feel Denali come closer to him still, and wasn’t exactly surprised to see the other queen watch Mik with a perfectly raised eyebrow. However, unlike most times, Rosé was shocked to see Denali not narrow his dark eyes at Mik and seemed more entranced by the other than anything. _Wait, entranced?_

The list of things to compartmentalize for later continued to grow with his confusion, and Rosé barely held back the need to pinch at the bridge of his nose, not wanting to mess up his makeup. The night couldn’t end soon enough.

* * *

Rosé felt an odd sense of déjà-vu when he leaned against the railing of his balcony, the soft drizzle of rain falling around the city, as the night was engulfing everything around him steadily. Absentmindedly, he extended his arm so his hand could feel the raindrops hit his burning skin. It was pleasing.

“You look beautiful, but you have such an air of melancholy surrounding you, it’s uncanny.”

Even with the pitter-patter of the rain on the roof of the balcony almost deafening him, Rosé knew it was Denali, and he had seen from the corner of his green eyes the white footprints getting closer before the Alaskan had even said something. 

“It was a rough week, right? At least Olivia won, that’s nice,” added Denali softly. 

Rosé hummed at this, his hand playing with the raindrops getting more intense. It looked like a storm was coming. “She deserved it.”

“I’m still sorry we didn’t win. You were incredible. I feel like I’ve let you down this week —” 

“You didn’t,” interrupted Rosé with an edge in his voice. 

“Not just with the challenge. In general, I mean,” bitterly admitted Denali, his hands slowly playing with the sleeves of one of Rosé’s flannels to occupy them. 

“You didn’t, though,” repeated Rosé simply, turning to face him, shaking his damp hand to dry it. “I’m here for you, you know that, right?”

“I know, Rosie.” 

“What happened this week?”

For once, Rosé was sure his soft and pleading tone made it through the tall barricade of Denali’s mental walls. He saw him hesitate for a moment, biting his lip, before sighing. “I… panicked. For nothing, I think. It’s just a dumb theory. It threw me off, and I just — It was stupid.” 

“Tell me more.” 

“You know how people, they, huh, talked about you and Mik playing around and being kids during the week, yeah?”

Rosé instantly frowned. What was this about? Jealously? He had been so certain that Denali wasn’t really jealous of anyone else in the room, that they had passed that stage, and that they felt confident into this, whatever they had going on. Had he guessed wrong? 

“And I — You know Liv’s a sweetheart, she’d never do something to voluntarily throw someone off-track that much, but I just kinda took it to heart.”

“Nali, you’re worrying me, what did she say!?” 

Rosé saw Denali close his eyes for a moment and braced for the worse then. If his soulmate had been affected so much, then it could only be a spectacularly bad thing. Not for the first time, Rosé hated the distance between their stupid balconies. He just wanted to comfort his friend — but couldn’t. Honestly, he was very close to just telling the PAs to suck his dick and let him do as he wished as he barged in Denali’s room. _Very close_. 

“I… She, I mean, we were talking about the soulmate thing because I know you told her and I don’t mind, and she gives pretty good advice, to be honest, but she just said something that I hadn’t considered and it just really freaked me out and I didn’t tell you because I _knew_ you’d freak out too or laugh maybe, I don’t know, how are you supposed to react to this —”

Rosé threw the balled-up hoodie he kept on the balcony for when nights got too cold and he still wanted to stay talking straight at Denali’s freaked-out face, and the other queen fell silent for a second. “Okay, now that I’ve got your attention, can you _relax_ for a fucking second? Whatever this is, we can talk about it, okay? Also, if you’ve ever wanted to try and make the jump between our balconies, now would be a fantastic time, if you ask me.” 

Rosé smiled when he got a breathless laugh from Denali. “Shut up, dork, you said no last time.” 

“What can I say, today is a brand new day!” 

They looked at each other seriously for a second and burst out laughing. It was such a ridiculous situation. Rosé was glad he could diffuse a part of Denali’s nervous energy pretty easily through his charm. 

“Liv theorized that Mik could be your second soulmate.” 

Rosé raised an eyebrow, his brain unregistering the whole thing at first. He stayed there, mouth agape, green eyes fixating a spot from far behind Denali’s shoulder. He didn’t know how long he was like that, but he finally came back from the clouds and frowned. 

“She… What?”

“Mik could be your second soulmate — at least, according to Olivia. It all seemed to make sense in her head, and honestly… I can kind of see it.” 

“What did she say exactly?”

“Well, with the way you just, seem to gravitate towards each other, she said that it would make sense because didn’t you lose sight of your second soulmate’s trail when you were in your late teen years or early twenties?” 

Rosé shrugged, not seeing the point. “I lost the blue trail when I was around twenty, yeah.” 

His mind instantly went to the times he talked about soulmates with Mik, how his face was always going blank, how his eyes shifted nervously, and their first conversation. 

_“You know… I also have a soulmate that I didn’t meet yet. Or maybe I did. I have things to not see them and for them to not see me, you know?”_

_“I don’t know. It’s just been so long since I’ve had my soles and eye contacts that I’m not even sure I remember what their footprints or trails looked like.”_

Was that enough to justify the suspicion of Olivia? Could it be? But that would mean…

“Wait a second. If _he_ ’s my soulmate, he’s _yours_ too, you realize that right?”

Denali shot him a glare, sighing. Suddenly, everything was making total sense. Rosé pointed an accusatory finger at his soulmate in realization. 

“You… you realized that — and it made you panic. Because you know it could be true.” Rosé stopped for a second, slightly pacing on the small balcony before making a full-stop. “Wait. Then why didn’t you tell me? Was it a full panic thing, a freak out because you have feelings or a pure jealousy thing?”

“No! I genuinely didn’t want you to struggle this week like me, so I asked Liv to keep it down, too. I promised her I’d tell you after the runway.” 

“... Are you sure it’s not a jealousy thing, though?”

“Why are you hung up on this part especially?!”

“Nali, my love, you spent weeks looking at Mik like you _hated_ the poor queen for just looking my way sometimes, which, for your information, he also spent just as much time looking at _you_. So, forgive me for assuming that,” cheekily answered Rosé, watching his soulmate groan with amusement.

“Why is this not affecting you?”

“Because it hasn’t registered in my stupid brain, yet. When I go to bed, or anytime tomorrow, I’m gonna get hit with the whole thing, and then I’ll crash. For now, I’m enjoying teasing the shit outta you, Angel.” 

“You’re an ass.”

“No, _you_ have the ass, I thought we settled that a long time ago when I couldn’t avert my eyes,” laughed Rosé without resisting the need to take a peek. Just to spite him, Denali turned around so he couldn’t look anymore and the Scottish queen rolled his eyes. 

“So, we’re not gonna talk about this seriously?”

“Babe, the chances of Mik being our soulmate are like, under 1%. There’s serendipity and there’s _that_. It’s way too convenient. Besides, he never mentioned multiple soulmates. Problem solved. I don’t know why you panicked all week for that. If you had come to me earlier, I would have told you that same thing.” 

“You’re not even gonna consider it?”

Rosé sighed, leaning back against the railing in front of Denali again. “No, I’m not. Just because Liv pulled that theory out of her ass doesn’t mean it’s true. Yes, some signs might point to that, like the fact that I think he’s really cute and how he’s watching us, but our soulmate is probably somewhere else.”

“But what if _he_ is?” Rosé sighed. Denali really had the same tendency as him to hold on to things he was certain of, and right now, it was a bother. 

“Then we’ll cross the bridge when we get there. He doesn’t see the trails of his soulmate, and his soulmate won’t be able to see his own. Mik told me that, once. So even if he was, _and he’s not_ — he wouldn’t know. And it’s better this way.” 

“So we’d keep this a secret from him?! What if he wants to know?”

“If he wants to know, he’ll remove his eye contacts. That’s it.” 

“Rosie, that’s not a good argument at all,” pointedly stated Denali, a shocked expression lingering on his traits. “If we know, aren’t we supposed to tell him?”

“Would he tell us if he was in our place? Because, somehow, I don’t think he would.” 

Denali seemed to consider it for a second, and Rosé let the thought hover in the humid air. 

“Maybe? I don’t exactly know him well.” 

Rosé extended his arms to brush against the fingers of his soulmate comfortably, even with the raindrops falling on them. “Whatever happens, our priority should be the competition — we barely handle keeping our hands _and_ relationship to ourselves as it is, we don’t need another complication.” 

“It’s not my fault that you’re irresistible — and constantly horny,” claimed Denali in a sing-song voice, batting his lashes at Rosé with a charming smile. 

“Coming from you, this has somehow less impact than I thought it could,” instead pondered Rosé, laughing out loud with mirth when Denali threw back at him his balled-up hoodie from earlier. 

He just couldn’t seem to stop thinking about it — what if they really were _soulmates_? 

For now, Rosé just felt like he needed at least three weeks straight of sleep to recover — and maybe to bonk Olivia on the head for planting that seed of doubt in their brains.


	7. Love Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosé wasn’t that dumb to think he wasn’t attracted to Mik, and he had realized a long time ago how deeply in it he was for Denali. But at the same time, both of them, together? 
> 
> Oh God, talk about an unrealistic goal. It was making him antsy and infatuated. He would never get both, especially with the whole soulmate debacle. Especially since Denali and Mik had barely built the barest of friendship after weeks of glaring at each other across the workroom. They would never go for it, and while Denali was his soulmate, he still felt a pull for Mik, growing every time they spent time together. 
> 
> He could never get what he really wanted, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonjour/hi, I finally made it alive this week and since I had less work than expected, I was able to finish this beast of a chapter (7k words, can you believe?)  
> Thank you for all the comments and kudos and people on discord for their feedback, I love writing this, and I am glad people are following it weeks after weeks!  
> With that being said, this chapter is a wild ride. Please also notice how the rating was updated to reflect this, as a warning for some scenes in this chapter and the following ones.  
> Song used for the title and lyrics at the start is Love Again by Dua Lipa. (Steam Future Nostalgia, that album is incredible!)

_But goddamn, you got me in love again_

_Show me, your heaven's right here, baby_

_Touch me, so I know I'm not crazy_

_Never have I ever met somebody like you_

_Used to be afraid of love and what it might do_

_But goddamn, you got me in love again_

Rosé thought that after all that had happened last week, he would finally be able to rest a bit more easily, but he had been especially wrong in his prediction. He was plagued by recurring nightmares which only seemed to become more and more frightening as time went on. If only he had been stuck with the same wet dreams as the other queens — that, at least, he could handle. 

But dreaming night after night of being separated from Denali, from Mik? Yeah, that wasn’t fun. He would often wake up abruptly in the middle of the night, tears rolling freely from his tired eyes, and the only way to calm down he had found was to finish the night on his balcony. All curled upon himself, with any piece of clothing that Denali had left him, the ones that still smelled like him, Rosé usually managed to grasp a couple more hours of rest. 

He had often thought about throwing random objects on his soulmate’s side, but voted against it — Rosé didn’t want to bother him. Denali needed his sleep, and since their discussion about the whole “ _Mik-might-be-our-soulmate_ ” thing, the Alaskan seemed to rest more easily. Rosé wasn’t going to disturb that peace of mind with his stupid dreams. 

Nevertheless, that didn’t mean Rosé wasn’t actively seeking out Denali’s presence near him at almost all times in the workroom. He instantly felt safer when the younger one was around, even if he hated himself for acting like a clingy teenager. Rosé was so used to being the one in control, to be the one who protected and cared for the others, that he felt utterly vulnerable, like everything and everyone could break him with the lightest of touch. 

Rosé was spiraling. He knew that, somewhere deep in his brain, but he couldn’t help it. He tried to deeply inhale, keep it in for a few seconds and then exhale, but even that seemed like an insuperable thing to accomplish. 

He had been so disconnected from the reality of the workroom until he felt from far away Denali’s hand gently stroke his forearm, halfway hidden from the rest of the group by the table angle. Rosé blinked for a few seconds, before turning to watch the worry swirling in the obsidian eyes he loved so much. 

The majority of the other queens were absorbed about another topic completely, so they didn’t give either of the two any attention — at least, for now. Rosé found comfort in it, and almost sighed when, on his other side, Mik just dropped his head on his shoulder softly. It seemed like they had both felt something was wrong with him and decided to try and soothe him the best they could. Less dazed after a moment, Rosé finally sought out Denali’s hand, intertwining their fingers together. His other arm instinctively sneaked around Mik’s waist, bringing him a bit closer. 

Maybe he could make it out alive yet — just maybe. Only if they stayed near him. 

* * *

Denali hadn’t been satisfied with just cuddling and staying close to him during the announcement of the maxi challenge of the week and had dragged him along outside of the workroom. Rosé had been surprised at first, but they both knew he would follow him blindly regardless of where the other would lead them. 

“Where are we going? Should we even be here?”

“I don’t know — I found that place last week. I wanted to try it out before bringing someone else, you know?”

“So that’s where you went. I saw your footprints not going in the bathroom’s direction, but I thought you’d tell me eventually. Seems like I was right.” 

Rosé was smiling softly, and Denali nodded eagerly, a smirk playing on his lips, his dimples already in full sight. He could never resist such a sight and just shrugged off his stress. He let the Mexican-American drag them around, in a twist of turns around before they arrived at a seemingly deserted place. They had run two flights of stairs, and a window was letting the sun’s warm rays inside. It all seemed so peaceful that Rosé was just looking at it in awe.

“What is this place?”

“I’m not sure. Seems like a storage place, there are a few rooms around. Anyways, I’ve never seen anyone come around here, so whenever I needed a breather — I came here.” 

“And now you’ve brought me here. So much for your needed peace,” chuckled Rosé, leaning back against the windowsill, tilting his head slightly. 

“Bold of you to assume you’re not the one bringing me peace,” started Denali with a smile, coming a bit closer to drop his head in the crook of his neck. “On the topic of peace, now that we’re alone, are we gonna talk about your almost panic attack in the workroom earlier?” 

Rosé grimaced and was pleased that Denali couldn’t see his face right now. “We could. Or… Since we’re alone, for the first time, we could…” 

The Scottish queen knew his words and the slight sultry tone of them were heard because he could feel his soulmate’s body tense against him, and his head just slightly moved back from his shoulder. In the blink of an eye, they were watching each other, and Rosé absentmindedly brought a hand to graze at his friend’s cheek tenderly, smiling fondly when the other nuzzled into it instantly. 

Their noses brushed softly against each other, and Rosé gave a last look into the darkening brown eyes, closing his own finally. He could feel Denali’s hand grasping at the collar of his shirt, and he was pretty sure his soulmate could hear his heart thumping against his chest since it was so loud. 

Rosé heard a noise from behind Denali, but brushed it off, way too entranced by the other queen’s pull on him. He could hardly believe his luck after he had more or less abandoned any thought of kissing his soulmate during the competition. Another, louder noise this time, made him brutally come back to reality, and he opened his eyes, not surprised to see Denali move away too. 

_So close_. Rosé could have whined if he hadn’t been that worried about other people catching them. He could still feel the phantom sensation of the other’s lips almost caressing his own, and wanted to break something. He settled for gripping Denali and pushing him lightly behind him, and raised an eyebrow at what he saw. 

Mik was moving up the stairs two by two to get there faster — how had he even found them? — and stopped at the top, watching them cautiously. 

“People are coming, and I think they’re looking for _you_ , and now _me too_ because I came here, so stop acting like blushing whores, and let’s hide!” 

Because of course, damn his goddamn luck, Mik had clocked them in less than five seconds, and if he had, then anyone else would be able to make the same conclusion. Frantically, Rosé searched for an issue, his eyes darting back and forth in the corridor, but barely had time to panic before Mik impatiently dragged them towards one of the rooms. 

When they were locked inside, Rosé turned to face Mik more attentively. It was a small closet, and they barely had enough space for the three of them — that was if they didn’t move around too much. He was sandwiched between the two of them, and if he had had the space available, Rosé would have banged his head on the wall in sheer desperation. But he settled for turning so he could see both of them, doing so making his shoulders graze against them. 

_A necessary sacrifice,_ he thought inwardly. At least that way, he could make sure no one would kill each other — though he was pretty sure that they were now on somewhat good terms. Right? Rosé wasn’t too sure. He had trouble following their train of thought, sometimes. 

“How did you know where we were?” 

Denali had finally broken the strange silence and seemed annoyed that someone else knew about his place. Mik raked a hand through his brown hair hesitantly, and made an apologetic face, much to the surprise of the other two in the room. 

“I… Followed you last week to know where you went,” he admitted in a small voice. 

“You what?!” 

Rosé cringed instantly — so much for them being on good terms. Why was he always in the middle of those things? It was also in these moments that Rosé highly doubted Olivia’s theory of him being their soulmate — sure, _he_ got along great with the baby of the group, but Denali? They were literal ice and fire to each other, most of the time. 

“I was worried for you, okay! Fuck! I can’t follow your footsteps like Rosé does! You started disappearing all the time and I just -” 

Mik shrugged his shoulders, averting his pale blue eyes without continuing while Denali was watching him curiously. “You were worried… for me?” 

“Of course, you just looked so down this week, and I didn’t know how to speak to you about it, so I just wanted to be sure you were okay. I didn’t stay to watch you and be a stalker, by the way. I just made sure you were alright, and then left, waited for you to come back to the workroom. That’s all.” 

For once, Denali seemed stunned, his jaw slightly unhinged, and mouth agape in surprise. Rosé watched the shadow of something soft pass in his eyes, and when he blinked, it was gone. 

“I never meant to interrupt you two,” mumbled Mik, rocking back and forth on his feet uneasily. “I know you never get a chance to be alone, but I couldn’t risk people finding you.” 

Rosé heard muffled voices from outside the door and prayed to all deities he knew that no one needed that specific closet. First, they had a chance to be thrown off the show, and second, he would never hear the end of it from the other queens even if they managed to get out alive. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” started Rosé, seeing the misty-eyed smaller one almost shrink on himself. He extended his arms the best he could in the small space of the closet and was almost surprised when Mik just threw himself at him. He still closed his limbs around the other queen and breathed in. Rosé gently ran one of his hands through Mik’s hair, trying to soothe him the best he could — and he knew by experience that this was the best way to do so. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” added Denali slowly. “You probably saved our asses.” 

“Really?” came the muffled voice of Mik.

“Yeah, really. Thank you.” 

On this, Rosé was surprised to feel Denali come closer the best he could with the limited space, and just hesitantly extended his hand to comfort the younger one. Almost as if he was sensing it, Mik just moved one arm to grasp Denali’s hand and bring him closer to them. 

Rosé raised an eyebrow, but decided to push his luck a bit more — he took off the arm he had around Mik to grab Denali’s waist instead and smiled fondly. It was pretty comfortable like that, he almost forgot about the weird situation they were in, locked inside a tiny closet trying to hide from people. To his pleasure, he saw Mik shift a bit to lean more on Denali, who surprisingly let him do as he wanted. Looks like Rosé wasn’t the only weak one for Mik’s charms, after all... 

When Rosé turned his head slightly, he caught Denali’s gaze fixated on him, on his lips and he smirked. He wasn’t too sure if the Alaskan would push him away, but he _needed_ to know how his mouth tasted, he _wanted_ it now. He didn’t care if Mik saw it, in fact, thinking about it lit a new fire inside him, one that he wasn’t too sure he wanted to unpack now. Anyway, hadn’t Mik almost surprised them kissing, after all? It was due — Rosé didn’t know if they would get found and throw off the show, and he had daydreamed about it for weeks, so he threw all caution to the wind. 

He slowly came closer to the other, their nose grazing once more in such a short time, and this time, Denali didn’t hesitate to pull him closer with his hand on his cheek, a thumb smoothing over his jaw teasingly. Their lips met in the middle, and he could have moaned right then. The anticipation of it all had only highlighted the whole thing. Rosé was happy that Mik was still nestled against him, that way it made him unable to just pin Denali against the nearby wall and ruin him right then; biting at his neck, raking his nails down his chest, and kissing his way around, hearing him _whine_ against his burning hands — 

That would definitely get them off the show. Also, he needed to cool it down before it could escalate furthermore, weeks of pressure finally having a much-needed release. Fortunately, Denali seemed to have a similar line of thought and backed off after teasingly biting down on his bottom lip, soothing it slightly with his tongue in afterthought. 

“Well, seems like you had your first kiss anyway,” laughed Mik, who had moved a bit away from the hug, but it did sound a bit breathless, and Rosé raised an eyebrow in curiosity, at the slightly darker blue eyes watching them. 

“What’s up, _gorg_ , you sound a bit tense,” smirked Denali, surprising them both. 

“Shut up, oh my god,” hissed Mik, though it barely had any weight with the way he blushed under their gazes. Rosé didn’t think the other queen was the type to flush bright red when he saw some friends _just_ kiss, so that left...

“What is it? You wanted to be in our place?” 

Rosé’s eyebrows shot up to an astronomical level. He made the exclusive decision to stay out of the teasing fest that was happening, and that was better for him anyway, since he was still a bit out of it from the kiss he had gotten, anyway. 

“Yeah, then what if I say yes?” 

Denali seemed taken aback for a second before recovering easily. “Well, -”

“Okay! Okay, enough, enough. I can’t handle myself stuck in a small room with you two flirting so unabashedly with each other right in front of my nose, while I’m stuck between the two of you,” Rosé barely squeaked out, his sanity already greatly damaged by all of this. 

Instantly, he knew he had made the wrong move when the other two queens both looked at each other mischievously. If Rosé could have, he would have backed away but there was no space. He felt cornered and tension sizzled in the room, but curiously he didn’t feel _threatened_ , it was just exciting. Rosé stayed against the wall, not especially trusting himself to not falter eventually under their heated gazes.

From the corner of his eye, he could see Mik watching them ardently, and he flushed lightly against his will under the weight of his pale blue irises. Absentmindedly, he reached out to the younger one, and Mik grabbed his hand delicately in his, bringing it towards his heart. Rosé felt his heart beat erratically underneath his palm and smiled gingerly, a large difference from his usual charming smirk. 

This made him unable to notice Denali coming closer to the opposite side, and the Alaskan instantly pushed his body flush against his with a sigh. A warm palm came to catch his cheek, to fully turn his darkening eyes to the ice skater. Denali didn’t even have an ounce of hesitation this time, boldly claiming Rosé’s lips with his own for the second time today. 

Now that they had started that little game, Rosé wasn’t all too sure he could stop anytime soon. How was he supposed to go on with his day without feeling the heat of Denali’s body pressed against him? It was making his head spin, way more than any hooking up he had before — and they were just kissing. That would be a problem in the upcoming weeks, as they’d have to behave in the workroom and be unable to touch much at night either. Had he also mentioned how good of a kisser Denali was, too? Because that was also going to be a struggle to stop and get some self-control. 

Rosé realized after a moment that neither Denali nor Mik had tried to push him more to one side or the other — they seemed content to just _share_ , and Rosé wasn’t complaining. He liked it, he liked being in the middle of them, he just enjoyed spending time with them. 

_Oh. Oh no. Fuck — this wasn’t supposed to happen._

Rosé wasn’t that dumb to think he wasn’t attracted to Mik, and he had realized a long time ago how deeply in it he was for Denali. But at the same time, both of them, _together_? 

Oh God, talk about an unrealistic goal. It was making him antsy and infatuated. He would never get both, especially with the whole soulmate debacle. _Especially_ since Denali and Mik had barely built the barest of friendship after weeks of glaring at each other across the workroom. They would never go for it, and while Denali was _his_ soulmate, he still felt a pull for Mik, growing every time they spent time together. 

_He could never get what he really wanted, right?_

He growled in his tame kiss with Denali, and seized his waist abruptly, dragging him to rest firmly against his full body, not just the side this time. The most primal part of him was happy to hear Denali moan against his lips. Rosé easily took back the control of the kiss, letting his tongue explore the other’s mouth without any shame. His unoccupied hand followed the other’s upper body possessively, before pulling sharply at Denali’s dark hair to make him bare his neck with a smirk. The way Denali’s body instantly submitted to his was making him crazy with want, and he went to snap at the other queen’s neck to leave a bruise, but not before mouthing at his pulse point teasingly. 

_Triple Lutz on these sluts cause I like it rough_. 

He could almost hear his soulmate sing it again in his head teasingly. Well, that wasn’t something that was disturbing him, Rosé knew how to play around, and obviously, it was working well in his favor so far, judging by the whines and breathless moans Denali was letting leave his mouth without much of a care for getting caught. 

Just as Rosé had started to nibble on the other’s neck, he felt Mik drag his other hand, that had been on the youngest’s heart all along, upwards to graze his collarbone, his neck, his jaw, and then stop on his cheek. He was almost afraid to make a bad move or misread the whole situation. To his utmost surprise, Mik gently kissed his palm. Instantly, it seemed to calm down his aggressiveness a bit, and opening one eye to observe Mik, he almost had an eerie feeling that it was exactly what the other had wanted to accomplish. 

Rosé came to realize that leaving marks exposed on Denali wasn’t entirely a good idea, and exhaled a long breath, trying to calm down some more. He had never been this turned on with just a few kisses, and it showed. Slowly, he let Denali’s hair go, and rested his forehead against the shorter one’s shoulder, huffing. He felt Denali’s arms close around him, just holding him, and felt safe to keep his eyes closed for a moment more. 

Rosé tried to avert his thoughts from what had just transpired, but it wasn’t exactly easy while still being pressed against Denali, and with a hand still slowly caressing Mik’s cheek, who was a bit closer to them now. Rosé still didn’t think he was close enough to them, though. 

He wanted to kiss Mik too, to push him between the two of them, and to let Denali just lay a path of bruises down his nape while he’d be biting on Mik’s lip, leaving his hand to slowly follow a trail from his toned stomach as he was arching against them, moaning for more — 

Rosé abruptly came back from his daydream and was now fixating the door with fright. They had all heard the knocking on the door as if it was an explosion. Rosé took a breath, and lightly pushed Denali and Mik behind him, hoping to at least spare them a good part of the problem — if he hid them well enough, he could argue that they were nobodies from the crew instead of other queens and save them from leaving the show. Maybe that was a bit extreme, but the situation was weird, and that was an understatement at best. 

The Scottish queen carefully opened the door and almost let out a sigh of relief, his hand immediately losing a bit of grip. 

“Liv, what are you doing here?” 

“Silly, I was looking for you — and I just had the idea of coming here because it seemed deserted. I know you like being alone. Were you sleeping in a closet or something?”

“No, I wasn’t,” grumbled Rosé, as the other New Yorker laughed at his face. It wasn’t a lie, he had been doing quite the opposite of sleeping in any way. If he could get Olivia to leave soon enough, she didn’t need to know that, though — and he wouldn’t need to make a run of shame to the bathroom with his _problem_. 

Olivia nodded, but then tilted her head adorably. “Now that I think about it… you haven’t seen Denali and Mik, by any chance?” 

Rosé could have died at that very moment — the smirk Olivia bore on her traits warned him against trying to lie his way out of there and he suddenly found himself wishing that spontaneous combustion existed for real. 

Before he could even make a rational decision, he felt Mik _and_ Denali both squeeze in the small opening under his arm and end up next to Olivia with amusement clear on their traits. Rosé had half a mind to just close the door in their faces and not deal with the shame that came with it, but at this point, he couldn’t just hide in there for the rest of his life, could he? 

Rosé opened the door more frankly and stepped out under the amused gaze of his friends, gritting his teeth to not snap a comment. He was _horny_ , and _stressed_ , and could you blame him for getting all worked up in matters of minutes under _their_ hands? 

“Not a word,” he warned through his teeth, a finger pointed at the three of them sternly, “not a single word.” 

Rosé could still hear the sniggering and chuckles of the other queens as he was going back towards the workroom, albeit not before making a curve to take care of his stupid hard-on in the bathroom nearby. 

* * *

Rosé had never rushed through an orgasm like that before, but at least it had been somewhat easy to dispatch. It was the only salvation of this. He just had wanted a little kiss, not to play rough with Denali in a small closet while Mik fucking watched them with his eyes darkening.

Okay, and he had to stop immediately from going that way again, and threw some cold water at his burning face, watching himself in the mirror. “Keep it in your pants, dumbass,” he hissed in a rough voice at his reflection in a warning. 

As if that could prevent him from getting turned on whenever Denali flirted with him.

Whenever Mik just winked at him from across the workroom. 

When Rosé came back to the area with all the others, he stretched a bit, his green eyes making a quick sweep of the room before settling on Denali _and_ Mik, sitting on the same couch, their shoulders grazing each other, while they laughed in a low voice, their scripts for the challenge all but forgotten on their thighs. 

To what kind of dystopian world had he come back once more? Yes, they had warmed up to each other in the last few days, but Rosé had never expected them to bond over like this. Denali tended to stick by his side, or talk with Liv, while Mik gravitated towards Symone more when he wasn’t being herded by his mother hens. So to see them just talk and laugh together seemed surreal — especially after what had happened just a couple of minutes before. 

Rosé made his way towards them silently and crossed his arms, his weight leaning heavily on one side. “So, you two are friends now, no fighting anymore? No more glaring from across the room?”

“You know what? I think we found ourselves an interest in common,” supplied Mik with a playful smile, watching Denali who seemed just as amused. 

“Oh, please, pray tell.” 

“Mostly, annoying you or making you want to spontaneously combust,” added Denali with a smug expression etched on his face. 

Rosé looked at them, absolutely unimpressed, as they laughed once more. “So you two thrive on making my life difficult and you’re building a friendship on this?” 

“Yes,” they answered at the same time in perfect sync. 

“Fuck’s sake,” mumbled Rosé, pinching at the bridge of his nose.

“Besides, we do enjoy spending time together — and to mess with you adequately, we must talk to each other more, so here we are,” finally summarized Mik, while Denali nodded innocently. 

“I can’t believe this is all I get…” 

Rosé turned on his heels, instead going back to his station, carefully avoiding Olivia’s knowing gaze. Much to his despair, his soulmate and Mik had spent the rest of the day glued to each other, and he couldn’t do much more than huff unhelpfully. Rosé couldn’t believe they were bonding over the idea of making his life miserable and _harder_ than it was. 

He scowled when Olivia asked him if he was jealous at the end of the day when they were heading for the hotel for the night, as the other two were walking together a few steps before them. 

Rosé wasn’t fucking jealous. He was troubled, that’s all — or that’s what he tried to convince himself of. It wasn’t working, but he had no one else but himself to convince, so it would do for now.

* * *

However, the pull was stronger than anything in the end — Denali came back to cling at his arm the next morning, batting his lashes and making a pout to get more attention. Rosé caved after his soulmate had asked him to help unstuck the zipper of an outfit he was testing out. He came to stand behind the shorter one, and instantly got to work, biting his lip in concentration. The last thing Rosé wanted was to hurt his friend. 

Besides, he enjoyed taking more time than he would have normally needed. He was pretty good with his hands and could have fixed it in less than a minute, but instead, Rosé dragged it for a few minutes, mumbling about how badly Denali had messed it up, with him just chuckling breathlessly. When he finally thought that it went on enough, Rosé slowly pulled down the zipper and the dress along with it, barely grazing at the other’s burning skin. He could feel the shiver running through him, and stuck in a haze, he dropped a small kiss at the base of his nape before moving back. God, how much he wanted to continue undressing him, though… 

Denali was watching him in wonder, his dark eyes riveted on him, on his lips. Rosé’s smirk grew, and he winked at his soulmate, before moving away. He heard Denali mumble something in Spanish under his breath, and caught _the_ word he needed to, feeling smug. 

“Nali, you know I can understand enough of that, yeah? We can take care of that later if you want. You know I can’t get enough of you...”

The blush on the Mexican-American’s face confirmed that, indeed, he didn’t think Rosé would pick it up, even if he was well in range to catch it. He cackled loudly and knew that he had won that round, at least. Rosé couldn’t let the Denali and Mik duo just tease him endlessly — he had to fight back, sometimes. 

* * *

Rosé was nothing but a man of his word — he did take care of it later, as he hastily dragged Denali to their hiding spot, catching Mik’s eyes before. He saw the shadow of something in there, that he couldn’t exactly place, but a few blinks later, the Californian winked playfully at them, hushing them out. Rosé understood that he would more or less cover for them. 

That was sweet of Mik, and Rosé’s heart panged under the implications of it — even if he would have preferred for the younger one to come with them. But it wasn’t like he could just drop by his table, lean on it and go like: “ _hey, gorgeous, wanna make out with my soulmate and I?_ ” 

It wasn’t realistic at all — but lately, Rosé had been having a lot of those unrealistic dreams and expectations, so at this point, what could he do? 

When they came back, about fifteen minutes later, with Rosé entering first and then Denali, they simply went to sit at the same station, not ready to leave each other’s side for now. It was too raw, Rosé could still feel Denali’s nails dig into his shoulder blades, as he had deftly pushed away the other’s shirt down, mouthing hungrily at his collarbone, trying his best to resist the need to bite down, and mark him as _his_ , for everyone to see. Especially as Denali didn’t help him at all, just whimpering underneath him, telling him how much he liked getting _marked_ , and grinding against his leg strongly. 

God, they really were in the deep — they had opened Pandora’s box, and now they had to deal with the consequences. 

It was all fun and games (mostly) until Liv had to tease them again, this time in the periphery of the whole group, and it caught on. Kandy and Tina took the chance offered to them on a silver platter and teased them mercilessly about them being _so close_ , and asking if they had kaikai’d before. Rosé would have preferred to dig his own grave rather than entertain them, but he knew he couldn’t exactly just flip them off without adding unwanted attention to him and Denali — _and_ Mik, who was somewhat caught in the crossfire as well since he merely dropped that they were all on the same floor. 

Rosé just knew the others wouldn’t let this go easily, and groaned inwardly. Outside, he tried to keep a mostly neutral face, but inside, he wanted to drown. The rumors between him and Denali had never really faded out, even if they were cautious, and now with Mik added in the midst of it, it was only getting worse. 

Rosé did what he usually did best — mostly deflecting, shrugging it off, all with a smile he hoped was legit enough. He still kept a watchful gaze on his soulmate and his friend throughout all of it, which awarded him the title of “bodyguard” for some reason. He wasn’t mad about it. In fact, Rosé was glad the others had noticed — because he would fight for them, no hesitation. They needed to watch out. 

* * *

Rosé groaned when he felt the sofa move abruptly, as he was almost asleep against the side of it, and he blinked his eyes open, surprised to see Mik watching him with his pale blue eyes, an eyebrow cocked up in a silent question. 

“I wasn’t asleep,” mumbled Rosé in a rough voice that cracked slightly.

“Yeah, sure, whatever helps you _sleep_ at night, gorg.” 

Rosé yawned and then narrowed his eyes sharply at the jab. “Why are you here, again? Disturbing my almost-nap?” 

“I just wanted a break from my group. I’m sad I wasn’t with Kandy or Tina this week,” he started, and Rosé simply nodded. For all their sakes, he hoped that Liv wasn’t dropping too many hints about her stupid soulmate theory while working with him. “I’m sad because I wanted to be with you and Nali,” Mik finished.

This time, Rosé felt more awake than before, because since when did Mik call his soulmate _Nali_? And was that a sulking expression the younger one was sporting? He was adorable, and the Scottish queen couldn’t help but open his arms in invitation, happy when Mik almost threw himself into them. He softly chuckled and closed his eyes. This was comfortable — he almost felt like he could go right back to sleep. 

Maybe it was stupid because Rosé was used to play the part of the protective knight with most of his friends, but he felt safer when Mik was around him. 

“I feel safer when I’m with you too, love,” mumbled the soft voice of his friend, and he realized with a start and a shiver that he had said it out loud. Rosé still felt his heart drum almost painfully against his ribs at the endearment term Mik had used. 

Rosé wasn’t going to survive this — he tried to calm down a bit before Mik would call him out for having his heart thump so loudly in his chest. But it wasn’t exactly an easy feat with the younger queen just stroking his upper chest and neck softly. 

“Hmm, don’t you two just look cozy?” 

Rosé raised his green eyes to watch Denali smirking at them, arms crossed with a forgotten scrunched-up script in his hand. Mik had barely opened one eye, blinked a few times, and closed it once more, sighing as he got closer to Rosé again. The Scottish queen was surprised that Denali didn’t seem to mind much, looking at them with endearment more than anything else. He wasn’t going to complain about it, but it was a dire contrast with the way Denali usually handled things when Mik was involved. _Well_ , Rosé thought, _maybe laughing together at me getting horny for them both had created a solid friendship for some reason._ He’d take it, for the time being, amused to see Denali drop in the small place remaining on the sofa, going back to read the script. 

Was this what happiness looked like? Rosé wasn’t sure, but it damned felt like it, when he saw Denali absentmindedly stroke Mik’s leg while the other was sleepily lounging on his chest. He closed his eyes once more, after watching Denali’s lips curve in a soft smile, and for the first time in what seemed like forever, he breathed out without constraints. 

* * *

Finally, they had all done a good job in the improvisation challenge, and while Rosé had thought that maybe he could win — or even Denali, or Mik at this point — he wasn’t mad that Olivia had taken it. She had done the best with her role, and it wasn’t an easy one by far. She was making a name for herself in the competition, and Rosé felt proud of her. 

At least he had made it safe with the other two, and Tina, as they all headed to the workroom while the others got criticism from the judges. 

Rosé dropped ungracefully on the nearest couch, and let out a long sigh. It was still a competition, and he _still_ had wanted to win. He was tired of settling for being safe when he didn’t know what the judges wanted more from him — except the whole “you try too hard to be perfect” thing. He knew Jan had gotten similar criticism back on her season too, and it was making him reel. He loved his sister, he really did, but Rosé wasn’t too keen on making the same goddamn mistakes as her. 

“Relax, you look so tense,” murmured Denali in his ear, making him jump slightly. Usually, it was him making the other be startled, how had the roles reversed so easily? He came back to the workroom and saw Mik’s pale eyes catch his own. The Californian seemed concerned, but he didn’t say anything about it, which Rosé appreciated. He still felt compelled to send him a small smile and got a similar one in return. It was uncanny how such a tiny act could make him feel a lot better. 

Tina and Mik were mostly the ones talking, and he could sense that Denali wanted to say something too, but wasn’t being acknowledged. Eventually, he just left, and Rosé frowned. He saw Mik twist a bit, and Rosé grazed his fingers against his shoulder, shaking his head. The younger one pouted, but let him go see Denali instead. He was used to handling him, after all. 

After a moment, successfully comforting his soulmate, he almost burst out laughing when Mik screamed at them to come back because he missed them, while Tina was complaining about being the “ _goddamn fourth wheel of this weird-ass love triangle, what the hell was even going on with them all_ ”. 

* * *

There was something just wistful and comfortable by being on his balcony at night, the dark air cooling him down and a drastic difference from the searing heat of LA during the day. It just felt like his own little bubble of peace, being all alone with Denali after a hectic week, even if Rosé couldn’t touch him the way he wanted to. 

“We did well this week, babe,” he simply said in the near-silent night. He saw Denali make a lopsided smile before he nodded. 

“Do you think maybe we’ll win eventually?”

“Angel, with your talent _and_ mine? Hell yeah, it’s bound to happen. These bitches should quake in their boots right now. Especially if we continue to stick together in challenges.” 

Denali laughed heartily and made a grabby hand motion at him so Rosé would give him his palm as they commonly did. There was a short lull in their conversation, but it wasn’t unusual — they were often content to simply enjoy each other’s presence after a rough day in the workroom. 

“Rosie?”

Rosé hummed, always feeling his heart do a little somersault whenever Denali used that particuliar nickname for him. 

“I’m glad I was able to talk more with Mik this week. You were… _right_. I trust him too.” 

Rosé abruptly turned to watch the almost pained expression on Denali’s face — the other always hated admitting Rosé was right since he always was smug with it — and his mouth stayed agape for a few seconds before he schooled his almost ecstatic expression into a more neutral and, yes, much to the demise of Denali, a very smug one. 

“You mean, you’re glad to have someone to relentlessly tease me with,” chuckled Rosé. 

“It’s a bonus, yes, but I just enjoy talking with him. You know, I never thought we’d get along, but he’s really sweet. I hate to admit it, but you had a good eye with that one.” 

Rosé put a hand on his chest with an outraged mock expression. “What do you mean, with that one?! I always do! When we get out, you can ask my friends — I’m a very good judge of character, lass.” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever feeds into your ego,” joked Denali softly, squeezing his fingers. 

After a few minutes of relative silence, Denali sighed, leaning a bit more on the railing. “Do you… God, that’s gonna sound so weird.” 

“Come on, just say it. I’ve heard you ask weirder things, I’m sure.” 

“I… Do you think that Liv was right in the end?” 

Rosé frowned. “Is this about that stupid thing she told you I did back in NYC again?”

“No — I meant the soulmate thing,” admitted Denali in a murmur. 

“Oh baby, not this again, I thought we agreed that it was so unlikely it wasn’t good enough to entertain the thought of it.” 

“I know, I know. I just — _feel_ something.” 

“Yet you blew me off when I told you exactly that a few weeks ago.” 

“I’m sorry, I was just afraid,” Denali admitted bitterly, nervously playing with the sleeves of his hoodie. “I meant it when I said I understood what you felt for him. Really.” 

Rosé tousled his brown hair and gulped harshly. “Well, where does that even leave us?” 

“I don’t know, Rosie, I’m scared of what it could mean — of what it could change.” 

“I know. I’m scared too, you know. But you make it better, Angel. Do you wanna sleep here tonight?” 

Denali laughed. “What about your aching bones, old man?”

“First, you’re not so young yourself. Second, fuck off and go get yourself a fucking pillow, bitch. The nerve of people these days, I swear.”

Denali made a solemn salute with his hand and ran back inside to get his things. As Rosé did the same, he took a second to realize everything Denali had dropped on him, paralyzed while he was trying to gather pillows. 

Did his soulmate have feelings for Mik, too? Was it just platonic or more? _Were they even all soulmates_? Did they have a future, from all across the country after the show?

He knew a headache was coming and just sighed, softly facepalming. All the answers would come in due time — he had to believe it. But that didn’t mean it was going to be easy for now. 


	8. I'll Follow You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosé found himself using more and more the safe place Denali had discovered to just have some time alone. This week, he had a feeling he would overuse it, at least provided that he didn’t cross paths with Denali too often. Rosé hated this. They had stayed in the same periphery even after their shakedown because God knows they couldn’t be away too long, but there was still a rift there, making the whole thing a bit awkward. Instantly, to Rosé and everyone’s surprise, Denali had turned to Mik, with whom he’d have to duo this week. 
> 
> In any other week, Rosé would have panicked at this, possibly rushing to trade roles with his soulmate or his friend in hopes of keeping things from escalating to a fight — but after Denali’s revelations a few days ago, he knew they’d be okay. He was surprised by how quickly his soulmate had sought out their friend more than anything else. Still, he let them — anyway, they needed to practice together, and Denali was used to relying on their synchronism, so Rosé was intrigued to see how well he could do with a completely different partner that wasn’t him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonjour/hi, local Emerald is back with an update just before the next episode. I would have dropped it earlier, but I was distracted... with another story... shame on me.  
> Thank you for all the comments and kudos and people on discord for their feedback, I really appreciate all of them and I promise I read them all and it's great motivation!  
> With that being said, this chapter is tamer compared to the last one, but the next one will be an (almost literal) explosion, that you will understand when you arrive at the end of this very chapter. I am not responsible for the emotions it might give, once again.  
> Song used for the title and lyrics at the start is I'll Follow You, by Shinedown.

_I'll follow you down to the eye of the storm_

_Don't worry, I'll keep you warm_

_I'll follow you down while we are passing through space_

_I don't care if we fall from grace_

_I'll follow you down to where forever lies_

_Without a doubt, I'm on your side_

_There is nowhere else I'd rather be_

_I'm not about to compromise_

_Give you up to say goodbye_

_I'll guide you through the deep_

_I'll keep you close to me_

Rosé found out that sleeping near Denali, while his lover was watching over him was a bit helpful — though it didn’t exactly stop the nightmares from coming. When he woke up with the early morning sun shining on his face, he was surprised to see his soulmate already awake and reading a book. Denali was basking in the early light of the dawn, and Rosé took a few moments to watch him. 

He rarely ever got a chance to watch him like this — without feeling the heat of the other’s eyes on him. Whenever they slept together on their balconies, Denali was typically the one who woke up first, much to his dismay. And now, the rays of the sun were hitting his soulmate right on his side, making his darker hair shine brighter. His traits were relaxed, a rare feat, and Rosé was entranced by it. 

“You done watching me?” 

Even if Denali still had his eyes on the pages of the book, he had caught him, and Rosé smiled softly. “No, I don’t think I ever will.” This was enough to get the Alaskan to close his reading material and color his cheeks pink, turning fully towards his soulmate with a teasing grin. 

“You’re such a hopeless romantic, it’s adorably out of character for you, miss independent.” 

“I don’t see you complaining, though?”

“Fair,” acknowledged Denali, stretching lightly. “Did you sleep okay?”

Rosé simply nodded, and to his surprise, he saw his lover frown. “Are you sure? I thought you were having nightmares.” 

“Why’s that?” 

“When I woke up earlier, you were whimpering and trashing a bit. I stayed awake in case you needed me.” 

Rosé raised an eyebrow and shrugged off, ashamed that he had kept the other from sleep he needed. “I’m fine. No need for you to worry about me, you should have gone back to sleep, Nali.” 

He heard Denali sigh and knew instantly where the conversation was headed. He steeled himself for it. “I know you’re a stubborn dumbass and I like to make jokes about you being independent, but please, you can tell me when things are rough. I’ll take care of you too, Rosie.” 

Rosé took a moment to consider it. He _could_ drop the whole thing, but that would mean he’d have to admit he’d been keeping this away for weeks. _Or_ he could pretend and stash it away to unload at a further date, which was his usual way of dealing with things. A tenacious voice in his head pushed him to just be honest with Denali, but he didn’t want to trouble him more. They were at a very “make it or break it” point of the competition, and with the whole thing about Mik looming over their heads, Rosé didn’t feel like it was a good moment to talk about it. 

“I know, babe. I’m okay, though. I don’t even remember what I was dreaming about,” easily lied Rosé, thanking his whole acting training profusely, because he did remember every single detail about his frightening nightmare. Denali seemed unconvinced for an instant and he felt a drop of cold sweat run along his spine, but his soulmate finally nodded, telling him that they should go prepare for their day. 

Rosé had a sinking feeling at the bottom of his stomach, twisted with guilt, but he was still convinced he made the right decision — for both their sake in the competition. 

* * *

The second RuPaul dropped the words “Rusical”, Rosé had to keep himself from jumping up and down like that stupid habit he had somehow inherited from spending too much time alongside Denali. It was finally his chance to win a maxi challenge after weeks of being safe or placing high and just falling short. He also lowkey wanted to win just to rub it off on Jan for a moment — only for a small moment. 

Rosé wasn’t dumb, he knew all heads would be turned his way this week, but he liked it, he thrived under the pressure, under the looks people would give him. He needed to make his mark, now or never. So when Denali and he crossed paths for the very same role, he stubbornly refused to budge. Yes, Denali was his soulmate, his friend, _his lover_ — but that didn’t mean he was going to give it easy in the competition. 

Rosé wanted that stupid role, it was almost his god-given right, and if he had to fight with his soulmate for it, then bring it. He wasn’t being cocky when he said he knew what he was doing and how _he_ was better for this. The other queens had the audacity of making them audition for it, and Rosé smirked. He had this in the bag — there was no way Denali would take it from him. 

He even allowed himself a few playful jabs at Denali before his lover started, and he saw how hard the Mexican-American had to hold back from laughing, his dimples slowly showing as he barely kept it in. Rosé had to admit his soulmate was a good competition, and he felt proud of Denali for choosing to stand up to him and not back off as others would have. That was something he appreciated in someone, having people keeping him on his toes. 

In the end, Rosé still got the role, even as Tina had tried to mess up with him — he sent her a sickly fake smile, not exactly surprised. They had a bit of a rivalry going on since the start, and Tina was a hound that tried to keep Mik safe, while Rosé was apparently the bad guy trying to corrupt him or something. It was whatever, he wasn’t exactly bothered by that. 

From the corner of his eyes, Rosé could see the frustrated expression on the traits of his lover and let out a shaky sigh. He knew Denali was a fierce competitor, and just as stubborn as him, so had he jeopardized whatever they had going on? He wasn’t exactly sure, as they had never butted heads _against_ each other — it was usually _them_ against the others, and he liked it that way; there was no better partner to mirror his strengths and counter his weaknesses. 

It was new, this whole fighting thing, and Rosé didn’t exactly like the flimsy ground they were treading upon this start of the week. 

* * *

Rosé found himself using more and more the safe place Denali had discovered to just have some time alone. This week, he had a feeling he would _overuse_ it, at least provided that he didn’t cross paths with Denali too often. Rosé hated this. They had stayed in the same periphery even after their shakedown because God knows they couldn’t be away too long, but there was still a rift there, making the whole thing a bit awkward. Instantly, to Rosé and everyone’s surprise, Denali had turned to Mik, with whom he’d have to duo this week. 

In any other week, Rosé would have panicked at this, possibly rushing to trade roles with his soulmate or his friend in hopes of keeping things from escalating to a fight — but after Denali’s revelations a few days ago, he knew they’d be okay. He was surprised by how quickly his soulmate had sought out their friend more than anything else. Still, he let them — anyway, they needed to practice together, and Denali was used to relying on their synchronism, so Rosé was intrigued to see how well he could do with a completely different partner that wasn’t him. 

Deeply lost in thoughts, the Scottish queen almost jumped out of his skin when he felt a cold hand settle on the small of his back, and turned to face a just as startled Denali. He instantly calmed down, a hand coming to rest on his heart in the meanwhile. 

“I’m sorry I startled you, I thought you’d see my footprints anyway, so there was no point in telling you I was here,” mumbled Denali apologetically. 

“I was just lost in thought, it’s fine.” 

“What were you thinking about?” 

Rosé chuckled, pulling his soulmate a bit closer to him, pleased to see Denali comply with his wishes instead of backing off as he had expected. “You, what else?” 

“Dumbass,” said Denali with an amused voice, still putting his arms around Rosé’s shoulders. The Scottish queen chuckled lightly, bringing one hand to stroke his soulmate’s cheek, and closed the gap between them to softly kiss him, their lips barely grazing. “Yeah, but I’m _your_ dumbass, aren’t I? You’re kinda stuck with me, unfortunately.” 

“How unfortunate…” 

Denali parted his lips and dived once more, Rosé letting him take the lead if only for a short moment — he could feel the other’s restrained movements and wanted to unleash him. Rosé knew he was still angry about earlier, about the role, and Denali needed to let that steam out if he wanted to do well in the challenge. He was plenty able to handle anything the younger one threw at him, anyway. 

After he felt the hands of Denali constrict his wrists strongly, keeping them pinned against the wall, Rosé simply smirked into the kiss, biting down sharply on his lover’s bottom lip. He heard the low grunt that came with his action, and pushed back eagerly against Denali, seeking more friction. Rosé hadn’t been kidding when he had told his soulmate how much of a switch he was — he loved to tease people and be in control. But he had no problem relinquishing that power over to someone else, provided that he trusted them. 

Rosé couldn’t remember ever trusting someone as much as he did with Denali. 

He still felt the overwhelming need to tease the other, though. It was just his deepest nature, in the end. Rosé also absolutely loved having Denali bowing down to his whims. He tested the hold Denali had on his wrists, not surprised to find it pretty lax, and used it to quickly turn them around, suddenly becoming the one in control. He saw the shocked look on the Alaskan’s features and made a smug expression. Despite wanting to comment on it, he decided to let it go, instead mouthing along his lover’s sensitive neck. Rosé knew that was a big weakness of his, and he loved to use it against Denali, even if he couldn’t bite down as much as they’d both want him to. _All in due time…_

“I’m sorry about earlier baby, but you did so good, it’s not your fault, I just trained for this,” Rosé mumbled hotly against Denali’s ear, teasing it a bit. 

He felt more than heard Denali’s low whine at this, his nails digging into his shoulders abruptly, and Rosé stopped his ministrations for a second, curious. “Babe, do you —” 

“Not a fucking word,” warned Denali without much weight, huffing, as he tried to push back Rosé, who still held fast with a large smirk forming. 

“No no, I think we’re touching something here — did you like that? Me _praising_ you?” 

Rosé was having a bit too much fun with this, while Denali looked mortified, putting his face in his hands, probably wishing that the ground would open right under his feet. “It’s fine if you do, you know? Plenty of people do, and it’s _fun_ -” 

“Nali? Rosé? You two here? Just so you know, I have my eyes closed so if you’re doing _unholy_ things you have five seconds to look normal!” 

Rosé burst out laughing at the way Mik had said those things so casually, merely hoping he didn’t quite catch their conversation. He caught the amused expression Denali had, his dimples in full display. “What happens if we don’t look normal in five seconds?” 

“Fuck’s sake Rosé, I don’t know, I’m gonna catch you two naked or something, are you decent or not?” 

Rosé was about to quip back to mess with the youngest of the group when Denali put a hand on his mouth, shaking his head. “Don’t listen to him, he’s being a dumbass, as usual. We’re fine, you can open your eyes.” 

“Good, because I don’t trust myself to go through these stairs without vision,” admitted Mik with a breathless laugh. “I just wanted to tell you Liv is snooping around again, this time with Utica, so you better lay low for today at least.” 

They both saw the Californian give them a once-over and raise a perfectly shaped eyebrow. “Well, it’s surprising that you're still dressed — and unfortunate. Welp,” he finished, popping the end syllable, as a light blush colored his features, “I’ll wait for you downstairs, Nali. You know. For the challenge!” 

The Mexican-American nodded and turned to face Rosé once more, a shy smile playing on his lips, while Rosé was busy watching Mik flee with a puzzled expression. He wished the other would have come to see them because he _wanted_ them and would have just _stayed_ so they could continue, not unlike the last time in the closet... 

“Well, duty calls,” simply acknowledged Denali, starting to head for the stairs. Rosé caught his wrist before he could leave, bringing his hand to his mouth, kissing the top of it tenderly. 

“Don’t think we won’t be having a thorough conversation about this later, lass,” he warned with a smirk as Denali rolled his eyes, still flustered. 

* * *

Turns out things didn’t exactly get easier or better for Rosé during the week — he had to handle the pressure of being the best performer of the show, especially since he had fought so hard for his role, but he also needed to calm down his anxiety at seeing Denali and Mik spend every second of the day together. He wasn’t exactly used to that, especially since he had no good excuses to go bother them. 

All that as Rosé was constantly plagued by nightmares every single night. Honestly, he had tried every trick in the book — doing exercise before bed, not eating close to sleep, having a regular sleep schedule, not falling asleep with the TV open, sleeping with comforting elements; nothing was working. He found himself sleeping on the balcony more than once as he had done in the last few weeks, and it was usually the only couple of peaceful hours he was able to get during the night. It was becoming a problem, considering that it was also affecting his mental state during the day. He had become sterner, less patient, and felt close to snap at anyone who dared to bother him. Rosé wasn’t stupid — he knew this would only get worse, and probably affect his physical being as well. On the week of the Rusical, he absolutely didn’t want that. 

Maybe Rosé should have confided in Denali when the other had pressed him earlier in the week, but he was so convinced that his lover needed his full concentration that he had made sure to keep a poker face in every interaction, even if he was tired. He did the same thing with Mik, who was still watching over him. Rosé could feel it, even when he wasn’t looking in the Californian’s direction. He just felt the weight of his gaze against his neck — and while he was used to it being pleasing, this one was almost searing in its feeling. Still, Rosé wanted them to do their best on the challenge, and it would be a lie to say he wasn’t curious to see them work the stage together. 

He hadn’t forgotten about Olivia and her stupid theory — the seed of doubt was well-settled and even ready to harvest any time soon. Rosé guessed that if they managed to do just as good a job as he and Denali usually did, in less amount of time, then it would mean… That Olivia was maybe right. He grimaced just thinking about it. 

“You look tired, you okay, honey?” 

Well, when you talk about the devil it appears, or so they said. His fellow New York queen was watching him curiously. “I’m fine,” he said curtly. 

“Rosé, you can talk to me, you know. We’re all here for you.” 

“I don’t _need_ help, and I think you did plenty enough by telling Nali about that stupid theory of yours,” he hissed in a low voice, not trying to get the cameras to watch them more than usual. 

Olivia merely sighed, a hand resting on her hip. “Come on, you can’t say it hasn’t crossed your mind before…”

“Even if it did — and it did _not_ , for your information — it’s irrelevant to this whole thing. So do yourself a favor, and keep it to yourself.” 

“Yeah, about that…” started the other queen with a hesitant tone. Rosé groaned almost painfully, dropping his head on the work table with enough strength to gain a migraine for the rest of the day. He could already feel it pulsate uneasily against his forehead. 

“Who else knows?” 

“Don’t worry, not a lot! Huh, I told Utica, and Symone, I’m pretty sure. But I didn’t tell Kandy or Tina yet! That’s good yeah?” 

“Sure. It will take a whole week instead of three to five workdays to get to their ears, and Mik’s, what a blessing in disguise. Thanks, Liv,” he answered in a dry voice, still muffed by his head resting on the work table. 

“Come on, honey, it ain’t that bad -” 

Rosé suddenly raising his head to glare at her seemed to cut her train of thought short, if only for a second before she went back right at it.

“I mean, _I am_ kinda right about it, you’re a bit in denial…” 

“Okay, how about you go have your little playdates with Utica and leave us three alone, huh? Oh, and do tell Utica and Symone that if they _dare_ talk about it, especially to Mik, I’ll make their life a living hell, we good with that?” 

“Has anyone told you, you were being a little excessive this week -”

Rosé flipped her off with his middle finger and turned away. He had enough of this already and was _this_ close to snap for good. 

God, how he wished he could just _perform_ in a club like usual and then maybe get laid without any consequences. Rosé wished he was home. His friends would laugh at his ass, but at least he wouldn’t be all alone to make his decisions without advice — because every action he took lately seemed like an awful bad choice. 

How Rosé longed to just be surrounded by the warmth of Denali and Mik once more, without feeling the overbearing pressure of the competition.

* * *

Honestly, at this point, Rosé was almost certain he was hallucinating things. That had to be the only valid reason, right? How could reality explain _this_ thing otherwise? 

He might have been getting used to seeing Denali and Mik interact and spend all waking moments together during the last few days, but that didn’t mean he still wasn’t surprised whenever something out of the ordinary happened. 

Rosé was happy they were getting along well, or at least seemed to, even if it was at the expense of spending more time with him. Seeing them cuddle on the couch was something — even just watching them hold hands under the table was also somewhat expected (because he wasn’t dumb, and he had used that very same tactic with Denali many, many times before). 

But seeing them just help each other with their outfits for the next runway and easily assist the other when something got stuck or to simply undress? It felt way too intimate, a thing that even Rosé wasn’t sure if _he_ was meant to see under his careful eyes. 

If that had been the only moment, he might have just chalked it up to “things happen”, but it wasn’t. Maybe the others and the cameras didn’t look their way enough — probably too busy with Kandy and Tina screaming their lungs out — but Rosé was. His gaze was always finding them across the room so easily. 

It was enough for him to see Mik being absorbed with explaining one of his concepts for an outfit in an excitable, high-pitched kind of voice, and to witness Denali eyeing him attentively, a hand holding his chin, without saying a word. 

If it had been only that, he definitely would have brushed it off.

But then, Rosé raised an eyebrow in a mix of awe and curiosity when Denali reached out to simply graze Mik’s cheek, effectively shutting him up for a second, as they traded looks. Rosé swore he could see the gears turning in Mik’s brain at that very moment, as he seemed taken aback by Denali’s sweet and somewhat out-of-character move. Rosé couldn’t blame him, yes Denali liked physical contact, but he kept that kind of affection for him, usually. 

If that wasn’t another thing to bother them with when this dreaded week would end, Rosé didn’t know what else could make the list instead. 

For now, as he wasn’t too sure if he had imagined the whole thing or not, Rosé still needed to focus on his role for the Rusical — failure was not an option, now more than ever. 

* * *

He stayed with Denali during the whole time they filmed Untucked — it seemed like being apart a bit more that week had troubled him more than Rosé had guessed it would. He was still happy to have his soulmate around, though, and made the uncharacteristic mistake of dropping down his guard even with the presence of the other queens and the cameras around. 

It was just so damn easy and fun to banter with Denali, how they seemed to follow a similar wavelength at times, even as he bluntly pointed out how they’d eventually need to compete and Denali had looked at him in the mirror, simply disregarding that fact. He didn't seem too keen to see them as more than friendly rivals, which surprised and amused Rosé to no end. To think he had come into the competition saying he wasn’t here to make friends...

Rosé watched as Denali touched up his makeup in the mirror, an arm holding his waist carelessly. He had yearned all week to be able to touch him, so now he wasn’t going to hold back. That, and he wasn’t exactly feeling well, and it was making him more clingy, looking for the comfort of his soulmate’s touch. Sure, he had been feeling tired all week, but as it got closer to the runway, it only became worse. Figuring that it had to be stress, Rosé didn’t really give it a lot of attention — except that now, even after the performance, and doing a great job, with the adrenaline down and near his lover, he was still feeling weird. 

Rosé was running hot, even as he was shivering, he wasn’t that dumb to not realize it. He also felt dizziness creeping up on him sneakily the more the day continued. He just needed to get through the evening, and then he’d be back at the hotel to take a well-earned shower and rest for a moment. That’s all he needed. 

“Are you alright? You seem a bit dazed, you running something?” 

Denali instantly put a worried hand on his forehead, grimacing. “You’re hot,” he mumbled.

“I know I am.” 

Denali’s dark eyes narrowed sharply and Rosé knew then that it wasn’t time to play around. “I just need to rest. I’ll be fine, you worry for nothing.” 

Denali clicked his tongue, displeasure clear on his traits. “You _do_ look tired. You pushed yourself too much this week, Rosie. You should have slept more.”

Rosé knew he couldn’t drop the whole nightmares issue _nor_ the one about feeling so disconnected to him and Mik all week, so he kept silent, instead opting for shrugging it off lightly. 

“Maybe I should’ve kept a better eye on you, hm?” 

“Nali, I’m fine. I promise,” mumbled Rosé, averting his green eyes almost instantly. 

The lie tasted bitter in his mouth, and it reminded him of earlier in the week, when he had merely said the same, hoping to keep everyone concentrated for the challenge.

But at what cost?

* * *

Rosé may have not thought much of it back during the week, the challenge, the runway, or even the Untucked, but the ride back to the hotel was nothing short of hell. A literal, fiery path through hell. as he was barely managing to keep his eyes open. It was too hot, even for LA at night, and yet, his hands were frozen, goosebumps erupting on his skin. His head was spinning, and he had to periodically close his eyes because his vision was getting increasingly blurry. Absentmindedly, Rosé benefited from everyone talking loudly to fade into the background, even if it was accentuating his headache. He gripped the hood of his shirt and pulled it down more, trying to curl on himself the best he could. The ride wasn’t going to last long — he just had to make it to his bed after, right?

Rosé was so far gone already he didn’t even catch the worried gazes of Denali and Mik shot over. 

* * *

He might have slightly overestimated his capacity for getting to his room on his own, as Rosé had felt his legs instantly tremble and threaten to give out as he exited the van last. When he had stabilized enough, he was pained to see both his lover and friend just waiting for him, just before the entrance. He groaned a bit and gritted his teeth — he wasn’t going to fall short when he was so close to just hiding for a few hours alone in his room. 

Strangely — or maybe simply boosted by adrenaline and his pride — Rosé did make it correctly to his room, even with Denali and Mik both fussing over him while he tried his best to wave them off his case. 

When he finally got rid of Mik, the youngest of the cast was watching him with a warning clear in his pale blue eyes, telling him to rest with a finger digging almost painfully into his over-sensitive chest. He looked so stern for once, but it lessened a bit as he hugged him fiercely, and Rosé felt his heart skip a beat when Mik’s hands grasped at his shirt tightly for a second too long before releasing him with a sorrowful gaze. 

He _knew,_ he understood — Rosé just did. Whenever he had to not see Mik for extended periods, so every night after the days in the studio, he felt bad. How could he not, when they were so close on the same floor, yet so far? It was painful, it was making him ache without getting any relief for it until the next morning when he’d cross paths with the younger one finally.

He still moved away, averting his green eyes from Mik’s face before making a mistake, one he’d probably be eager to pin on the haze letting his brain unable to make rational decisions at the moment the next day. 

He smiled at Denali, knowing he’d see him soon on their balconies anyway, and made his way inside his room. The last thing he saw was his soulmate and Mik talking in low voices, a bit too close to one another if Rosé had been asked about it. But he found out that it didn’t bother him at all, it was endearing to see them interact without the pressure of the cameras and the others surrounding them.

This was another thing he’d decided to blame his clouded brain for. 

Rosé had been certain he’d be able to just take a shower at the very least and then rest for a good twelve hours, but he had all but collapsed on his bed, above the covers, and groaned into a pillow. He felt exhausted, simply unable to move anymore. The simple idea of getting more comfortable was unbearable. His eyes closed periodically, and he breathed heavily, letting sleep take him over. His last thought was for how he hadn’t even told Denali he couldn’t meet later. 

* * *

When Rosé woke up a bit later — he assumed that it was later, at least, it was so blurry it could have been three hours or three minutes — he was startled to hear noise from his balcony and blinked unhelpfully. The room was dark, apart from the lights outside shining into his room. He still felt feverish and as if his body weighed at least five tons, but somehow, the haze had lessened significantly. 

Struggling, Rosé still tried to sit up, his arms barely holding up his own weight. The only thing his brain cells could come up with was: _what if a bird had flown directly into his patio door!?_

Somehow, this alarmed him a bit more than he had expected, but when the door opened almost silently, Rosé dumbly realized that it probably wasn’t a random flying animal. The form was definitely human, though he could only see the shape of it in the shadows of the room. It stopped a few paces from his bed. 

“Rosie? You asleep?”

He almost let out a sigh of relief at this, before concern immediately settled in. “Nali? What… How…?” 

His voice sounded so rough that Rosé cringed inwardly, and blinked for a few beats without anything else. A low buzzing was stuck in his ears and he groaned, head full of static. He would have fallen back on the bed rather abruptly if Denali hadn’t helped smooth it out, his hands cold against his shoulder and forearm. He heard the low gasp of his lover when his hand grazed his forehead, but concentrated on breathing evenly instead of asking more things with his broken voice. 

“I knew I was right to be worried — Mik was concerned too. I told him I’d keep an eye on you but God, you didn’t come out and I thought that something had happened and I was so worried, and _you have a fever_ , and -” 

“Breathe, Angel,” he mumbled, his eyes still closed, as he heard the other chuckle. Rosé smiled softly at this. 

“Even when you’re barely awake you’re still helping me huh?” 

“Someone has to, babe.”

“You remember when you said I couldn’t make that jump?”

Rosé hummed absentmindedly, barely registering the meaning behind his soulmate’s words. 

“Turns out I can do it, I can thank my years in gymnastics or something.” 

“You know, when I thought about you in my bed, this isn’t what I had in mind…” 

“Get your mind out of the gutter, dumbass,” mumbled Denali, still coming a bit closer, one hand slowly playing with his hair as Rosé sighed. “You’re really running a high fever — did you take something?”

“No, just crashed here.” 

“Okay, lemme look for some. Don’t go back to sleep, it could be dangerous until your fever has gone down.”

“No promise, so tired,” he croaked pitifully, his eyes half-closed. 

“Rosie?” When Rosé only hummed in answer, Denali continued, his voice strangely tight. “I love you. I love you so fucking much.” 

Rosé furrowed his brows — had he imagined that, or was it real? Was Denali crying? Every alarm was raised in his brain, yet nothing seemed legitimate anymore. Everything felt surreal, especially having his lover in his room finally. God, he wished he was in shape instead of being stuck on his bed with a fever like a dumbass. 

“I can’t find anything, how can you not have anything?!”

He mumbled something, his glassy eyes dangerously close to falling shut, and Denali rushed to his side, grasping at his cheeks. Rosé sighed from the relief of his cold hands against his clammy burning skin, chasing at the feeling absentmindedly. 

“Fuck, I can’t let you like this, I, I need to find something for you to take, I, you need to promise me that you’ll stay awake,” panicked Denali, helping him move into an almost sitting position. “I’ll be back in two minutes, okay?” 

Rosé thought he heard the door close, but by then, nothing was certain anymore. 

* * *

The rest of the evening and night was blurry at best — Rosé only remembered flashes here and there, some sounds and smells, a few light touches against his skin, and even fewer images. He remembered Denali giving him something, then letting him fall asleep for good after a second eerily familiar voice said he needed to sleep it off. 

He remembered warmer hands helping remove his restricting clothes and shoes, and put the covers around him softly instead of just letting him sleep above them. Rosé knew someone had dropped a cold washcloth on his forehead. He also recalled the same familiar voice from earlier telling him things he couldn’t figure out. Rosé almost freaked out at the idea of someone other than Denali seeing him like this, but when he opened his eyes, he was greeted with a blurry sight of pale blue eyes watching over him anxiously, and he relaxed. He didn’t really understand why he did, but he felt safe — safer than he should, considering how badly sick he was. But Rosé knew he was in good hands with both Denali and Mik looking over him. He’d figure out the specifics of how they were _both_ in his room another time. 

He placed back the memory of them speaking in hushed voices, with the balcony door open, a pleasant night breeze entering the room periodically. There was a full moon, he realized in a rare moment of clarity. Rosé could see his lover and his friend standing on his balcony, the lights illuminating them slightly. But that wasn’t what had attracted his gaze in the first place, and he tried to whisk the sleep off his eyes by rubbing them with his palm. 

On the balcony, their silhouettes were close, with Mik having his head on the taller of the two’s shoulder. Denali had an arm around the other’s waist. But what troubled Rosé more, was how protective and just comfortable the two looked together — as if Mik and Denali fitted together perfectly, just content to exist on the same wavelength. 

_Oh, God._

_Mik was their soulmate_. 

This was the last conscious thought Rosé managed before falling back into the abyss, too exhausted to fight it and warn them.


	9. Water Under The Bridge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How tables turned, as Rosé was usually the one tending to Mik while Denali stood a bit farther away. The sheer irony of it was not lost on the Scottish queen, but he pushed it down for the moment. He was surprised to see Mik’s face emerge from his arms cocoon, and instantly pull Denali closer to him, breaking into loud sobs as soon as the ice skater had a good hold on his lithe body. Rosé frowned, but still held back cautiously. Somehow, even if both of them had not answered Mik at first, it felt like he was the one taking the brunt of it, if only because he had known about how Mik felt with soulmates. Denali didn’t know, not everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonjour/hi, local Emerald is back with an update after their brain went brrrrr with the 10 minutes preview of this week!  
> Thank you for all the comments and kudos here, messages on Tumblr, and people on discord for their feedback, I really appreciate all of them and I promise I read them all and it's great motivation!  
> With that being said, onward to this MASSIVE update of over 9k, and once again, I am not responsible for the emotions this might create... (trust and believe it was a wild ride just writing it and correcting it). Also, as a heads-up... the tags were updated!  
> Song used for the title and lyrics at the start is Water Under The Bridge, by Adele.

_If you're not the one for me —_

_Then how come I can bring you to your knees?_

_If you're not the one for me —_

_Why do I hate the idea of being free?_

_And if I'm not the one for you —_

_You've gotta stop holding me the way you do..._

_Oh, honey, if I'm not the one for you —_

_Why have we been through what we have been through?_

Rosé started to wake up the second he felt the sun rays focusing on his face, and he narrowed his eyes sharply. Had he fallen asleep on his balcony once more? That seemed believable, to an extent. The crispy wind of LA was surrounding him before it would devolve into searing, unbearable heat in only a few hours. He groaned, stretching and hearing his bones pop satisfactorily. 

He was in his bed though, nestled comfortably under the covers, which were strangely put up to his chin — Rosé never did that, he usually got way too hot during the night. A few discarded pills and water bottles alike, with damp washcloths, were laying on his nightstand, and Rosé frowned once more, pushing back the covers away. Yesterday was blurry at best, but he was pleased to have enough strength to sit in his bed, a hand coming to palm at his face and neck. He wasn’t exactly surprised to find them both clammy, the edge of his shirt soaked throughout with cold sweat. Rosé let the back of his hand linger on his forehead for a moment, and nodded appreciatively when it seemed pretty normal. 

He was achy from all around and was still tired, but at least he was better, stronger. Rosé felt more like himself — he wasn’t dizzy, he wasn’t feverish, and most importantly, the incessant buzzing in his eardrums and the static in his head had receded at some point during the night. 

Rosé hesitantly put both his feet on the ground, testing his strength before attempting to get up. When he was certain he wouldn’t double over, he made his move and breathed out. His legs were a bit shaky, and he doubted he would be able to stand up for extended periods, but otherwise, he seemed alright. 

Rosé wasn’t too sure what he had expected to find on the other side of his bed, but it certainly wasn’t finding Denali and Mik. Both were fast asleep against the edge of his mattress, on the ground as if to not disturb him during the night, the sun missing them out unlike he had been faced with. He vaguely remembered them talking last night, their voices far away, leaving him unable to grasp what they were saying. 

His only regret was to not have his phone at the moment, just to capture a photo of this adorable thing — who knew if it was ever going to happen again? Their PAs would never allow it. Rosé wasn’t even sure how Denali had gotten Mik around — or _why_ he had. Had it been for him, so Rosé would feel better to have the younger one near him, or was it because Denali himself was freaking out and went for the first person who could keep him grounded apart from Rosé? When had that change even happened? If it was that, then Rosé had greatly underestimated the closeness that had developed between the two during the week. 

Denali was snoring lightly, a few strands of dark hair falling on his face, while he seemed content in sleeping soundly surrounded by Mik’s arms. The youngest of the group was also fast asleep but otherwise silent, his head leaned on Denali’s. They just looked peaceful, and Rosé sighed — he felt at ease with them around, even more now that they seemed to get along _very well_. 

_His soulmates_. 

Rosé cringed at his intrusive thought. It was going to be so awkward when they woke up. _He_ was going to be so awkward when they woke up. How could he not after being hit with that whole realization so suddenly? How blind could he have been? Olivia had been right all along. He pinched the bridge of his nose, tearing his gaze away from them. 

Rosé headed for the bathroom, taking a water bottle in the process. After last night and his fever, he needed a shower badly, but mostly to take off his soaked clothes before he’d really catch something this time. He could handle the whole “ _waking them up and being awkward”_ thing afterward. Hopefully, they’d be up by then and maybe have even left his room — though he didn’t really count on the last part. 

* * *

Rosé was surprised to see his room barren when he exited the bathroom, barely dressed. Frowning, he went to his bedside and saw a note from Denali who simply said that the PAs had almost knocked the door down when he was in the shower, and they had to go back to their rooms. Just below Denali’s message was a messy scrabble, and Rosé assumed it was Mik this time, adding that they had both assumed he felt well enough since he had already gone to shower. 

Rosé could only groan — he had managed to avoid the awkward talk until they’d meet in the workroom again. Great. They could have that very private talk right in the middle of loudmouths and cameras. The Scottish queen sighed, dropping back on his bed in sheer desperation, watching the ceiling. He had remembered what he assumed was more or less all the time he had spent awake during his long shower, and it made him feel things. _Things_ he wasn’t too sure he was equipped to deal with — longing, yearning, _fright_. Despair. Hope. 

_“I love you. I love you so fucking much.”_

Not that Rosé didn’t feel the same, because he did — but he was surprised that Denali had dropped it so suddenly. Had his soulmate been scared anything could happen to him while he was gone to get help? It was probable, Rosé acknowledged, especially since Denali tended to break down more easily than he did. Nevertheless, he was still doubtful if it had happened or not. He hoped it did, as much as he hoped Denali would tell him again soon — this time, he’d be able to answer him and remember it fully. 

But now, with Mik probably being their soulmate — it was getting complicated. 

Was he only exaggerating everything? He was accusing Mik of being their soulmate based on… what exactly? Observations of his cloudy brain from last night? Could you even trust a feverish, hallucinating brain? Sure, Rosé had seen the anxiety swirl in Mik’s eyes, but he could have seen the same thing in Olivia or anyone else if they had been there, and none of them was his soulmate. He disregarded all the other elements that could prove the Californian was, indeed, their missing soulmate. It was giving him a headache, and the day had barely started. 

Nevertheless, a fact still stood: Denali had rushed to get him, apparently, instead of simply fetching meds and help from a PA if he was freaking out. But Mik was also the only other queen on their floor, and therefore, the logical option. It could have been anyone. 

Who was Rosé even trying to convince at this point?

He was taken out of his overthinking session by knocking on his door, warning him that all the others already were downstairs. No matter how much he dreaded this, he knew he had to do it. He was stronger than this, right? Rosé just didn’t feel like it at the moment.

* * *

Rosé tried his utmost to not act like anything was wrong, but it was _hard_ , even downright impossible. How was someone supposed to pretend they didn’t think someone else was their soulmate? Especially when they had to interact all the time. He had more or less avoided Denali and Mik so far because they were attached at the hip, but now, in the workroom, it wasn’t going to be that easy. Not only that, but he also had to be careful with the other queens, and the cameras, _and_ the whole crew. Rosé was a trained actor, sure, but he wasn’t going to be nominated for an Oscar anytime soon either — Denali and Mik both had too much of a hold on him for Rosé to keep a constant poker face. 

Honestly, it might have gone like usual if he hadn’t made a critical mistake at the worst time possible. He knew the three of them were now much closer than before, but Rosé was still wary of doing something that would scream _Mik is my soulmate_ to everyone concerned. This was, frankly, really stupid, since he had more or less managed to keep the fact that Denali was his soulmate _too_ under control for weeks now. But Rosé couldn’t help it — he was nervous, shaky. And the second Mik dropped his hand on his shoulder, barely a graze, he recoiled harshly, and Rosé instantly knew he made _that_ mistake he had needed to avoid as he traded looks with Mik who was frowning. “What’s going on with you?” 

“Nothing,” he swiftly answered, leaving no room to talk. “I just… I just need space I guess.” 

Of all the things Rosé could have said, it had to be the most bullshit one in the book. Great going. He saw the disapproval in both Denali and Mik’s eyes, and averted his gaze down to the work table, until Mik sighed loudly, turning on his heels to stomp back towards Kandy and Tina, who seemed to head for outside. Rosé let out a shaky exhale when Mik was out of sight and saw Denali watch the younger one, an almost pained expression lingering on his traits. 

Rosé couldn’t bear it anymore, that weird emotion flowing through them all, and so he decided to hide in one of the rooms in the upstairs part of it, dragging Denali along with him when no one was watching them — he made sure that Mik was outside with Kandy and Tina and maybe Symone by the looks of it. 

The last thing Rosé wanted was for Mik to find them when they were talking about _him_ and the situation. He might have been independent, and strong, and whichever words people wanted to use, but he needed to tell Denali, who was just as concerned anyway. Denali had stayed silent the whole time, only watching him curiously as he finally closed the door. 

“Rosie, what are we doing here? Are you okay? You look distressed, you’re acting weird.”

“I’m fine but I really gotta tell you something, Nali, I think you were right, hell, everyone was right at this point except me —” 

“Wait, hold on, you look like you’re about to have a breakdown and that’s usually more of my thing. Sit, breathe for a sec,” Denali mumbled, helping him sit down on the only table in the place. “Okay. Yesterday you were sick, and now this. What’s going on, baby?” 

Rosé opened his mouth to start talking when the door handle started to rattle and the door opened loudly a few seconds later. Even with the sun rays hitting him right in the eyes, momentarily blinding, he could still identify the person standing there. Of course, that had to be his luck, right? It settled everything then — there was no way Mik could have found them so easily otherwise. 

Rosé watched him close the door and hesitantly walk into the room. Now that he had a good view of him, Mik seemed so _sad_. His usually brilliant eyes were dull, and looked red, probably from crying and not sleeping much last night over him. There was something, _something_ he couldn't pinpoint in his eyes that Rosé couldn’t shake off, but he stayed silent. 

“So, you found out too huh? That’s why you were so weird this morning — why you’re here. You wanted to tell him, before I… Well, go ahead,” scoffed Mik, firmly keeping his gaze on the floor, as if he was avoiding everything else. 

“Mik, please, I — tell me I’m wrong about this, that I’m just overreacting,” pleaded the Scottish queen with the most heartfelt voice he had ever mustered, cracking at the end. 

Denali looked between them for a second, frowning. “Wait, what’s this all about? Is this why you’re freaking out?” He then turned to face Mik and narrowed his dark eyes. “How did you even find us so quickly, and without hesitating on which door to take? You were outside when we left!” 

They watched as Mik took a small step back and simply pointed to the floor, his fingers shaking just as much as the waver in his voice. “Pink, and white, how fitting, just like I remembered them to be.” 

Rosé closed his eyes. It felt as if time had suspended its course. No one was talking — it was silent, so much that they could hear the crew moving downstairs. He knew they were at a crossroad now, much like the competition was. It was either going to break them or make them. 

He wasn’t sure how long it stayed idle like this, but when he opened his eyes once more, Denali was almost rooted to the floor, absolutely unresponsive. He was looking at the door, a point far behind Mik’s shoulder. Rosé would have preferred anything else — any other reaction. For Denali to scream, to cry, to just go kiss Mik for all he cared, just _something_. Because he couldn’t find the strength in him to make a move himself. 

Not that Mik was any better. He was merely standing there, silent tears falling out of his eyes, and for as much as Rosé wanted to go and make all his pain go away, he couldn’t. He couldn’t when it was all his fault. _He_ had messed up — by stubbornly refusing to heed the signs, the warnings of Denali, the prediction of Olivia, hell, even by not listening to his intuition. And now Rosé had to deal with the consequences of his actions, didn’t he?

_“If he wants to know, he’ll remove his eye contacts. That’s it.”_

Oh, his stupid words were coming back to bit down at his ass today. Just as he found the strength to move, he saw Mik roughly wipe away his tears and look at him — but not _him_. Through him. Rosé knew. At that moment, even before Mik had even said anything, that he had lost him, _they_ had lost him — and then the youngest dropped the hammer back down on his heart for the final blow, shattering everything in its path. 

“Am I disappointing you yet?” 

His mind surely had dissociated from reality at that moment because Rosé had no recollection of anything else but the broken voice of his _soulmate_ , who had yearned for him, for them, screaming endlessly in his head. The only other sound that registered was the door smashing close once more, leaving them alone. It felt like glass shattering on the floor, or maybe it was his heart breaking. 

_“Am I disappointing you yet?_

Rosé had lost him, wounded Mik so deeply; he couldn’t believe he spent years thinking about this and how to correctly handle everything for it all to pass right through his fingers like sand. Rough, searing sand that left his hands scratched, burned, and bleeding from the fight. He had spent so many hours drunk, talking the ears off Jan and Lagoona and all their friends by telling them how badly he wanted to meet them. How he wanted to take care of his soulmates, to hold them against him and never let anything hurt them. So of course the first thing Rosé did was hurting them. Because he wasn’t dumb enough to know this wasn’t going to hurt Denali as well, caught in the crossfire. 

_Am I disappointing you yet?_

Rosé remembered the hours spent on stage singing of love without understanding it, how easily he judged his friends for being whipped, how he had pushed away every single relation he tried to have because they weren’t _his soulmates_. For what? To throw it all in the trash the second he had the chance of a lifetime to have _both_ of them at the same time with him? Better yet, they had both seemed interested — so why was Rosé running around, fucking everything up? 

_Am I disappointing you yet?”_

He remembered Mik hesitantly telling him how afraid he was about meeting his soulmate, downright terrified of disappointing them, for being who he really was. Rosé knew he was so afraid he chose to keep wearing his eye contacts and soles all the time, just to forget about it. Mik thought he’d never be enough for them, never be what they really wanted. And his stupid ass had held his hand and comforted him, so positive and trusting in the soulmate he didn’t know was destined to Mik. And it was _him_ , it was _Denali_. The only thing they managed to do was look at their soulmate with alarm, petrified and rooted to the ground as Mik cried and wanted them to _do something, say something_. 

It wasn’t a nightmare this time — it was real life, and all his worst fears had come alive. The only disappointment in this room was himself, Rosé realized, as tears finally ran down his cheeks like a torrent. 

* * *

Just by the way Mik didn’t even twitch or acknowledge them as they went back into the workroom, Rosé instantly knew the younger one had put back his eye contacts without any type of hesitation. It was to be expected, but it didn’t mean Rosé didn’t feel like the stake already lodged deeply into his chest wasn’t going even farther into the bruise, tearing everything apart at the same time. 

What he didn’t expect was to get almost thrown around by Tina, who pushed him in a corner, and Rosé could almost see steam coming out of her ears and nose. She looked _angry_ , more than he had ever seen her, and they had known each other back in New York, so it was saying something. From the corner of his eye, Rosé could also see Kandy rounding upon him and he steeled himself for whatever was coming. He deserved it, didn’t he? He had told Mik to get his mother hens to hunt the bastard who would dare to hurt him, and it seemed like he had done so — had Mik even asked them, or was it merely a guess from the other New Yorkers? 

Rosé accepted his fate calmly. If he was lucky and played his cards correctly, he could make sure Denali was fine at the same time. Under that resolution, the Scottish queen merely asked: “what do you want?” 

“What do _I_ want? Bitch, you got a lot of nerve, standing there,” started Tina, pushing harshly at his chest, but Rosé didn’t waver, staying true to his spot, narrowing his eyes. “What did you do to Mik this time? You done playing around with his heart or something? You fucking whore.” 

“I didn’t -”

“Huh, yeah you did, girl. You know he got a big fat crush on you and you go around and play with it when it’s convenient for you, but we all know you gonna pick Denali anyway. One not enough for you?”

Rosé turned to Kandy, mouth slightly open before he pushed back down what he wanted to say. From what he could gather, then neither one of them _knew_ about the whole soulmate situation, which was better. It was easier that way. 

“What’s your problem with all that, anyway? How about you mind your own _fucking_ business,” he seethed instead, pushing back Tina this time. “I don’t know what Mik told you, but I didn’t do anything — and if I do things with Denali, it’s my own damn business. Now leave me alone, I got a competition to win and if I need to drag you into the dust while doing it, I will,” Rosé warned them, simply moving away without them trying to hold him back. 

That was for the better — he was angry, he felt that wave of anguish and anger boil underneath his skin like it was waiting to explode. He crossed paths with Denali who raised an eyebrow, but he ignored it, just like he ignored Mik’s sorrowful eyes falling on him from afar. 

* * *

“We need to find him. He’s been gone for a while.”

“Nali, I don’t think -”

“You see, that’s exactly the root of the whole problem. You overthink shit, and it makes _this_ happen. We gotta fix it — or do you want _our_ soulmate to hate us?” 

“Well, I didn’t exactly see you do something either, earlier,” seethed Rosé, grinding his teeth together, feeling the boiling anger come back, threatening to burst at the most random thing. 

“Maybe, but I wanna make it right. So do what you want. But I’m going to find him, and talk to him. Continue to brood and whip yourself in your mind all you want, but I’m certainly not gonna stand here and do nothing while _our_ soulmate hurts because of our dumb mistakes,” hissed Denali in return, sharply turning on his heels to exit the workroom. 

Rosé let out a wounded groan and angrily stomped after the other queen. He might have been dense and stubborn, but he wasn’t a damn coward — and Denali was right. They needed to make this right, if only so they could keep a decent working environment and perhaps salvage their friendship with Mik. The promise of something more — his throat constricted thinking about it — could wait. 

Also, Rosé wasn’t exactly keen on Kandy and Tina plotting behind his back to kill him, especially since they all lived in the same goddamn city. 

* * *

After rushing steps on the stairs going up, he caught up to Denali as the other was starting to look for the doors in the large corridor. He wished he could see Mik’s trail, light footprints of blue that would pinpoint them in the right direction instead of wandering around like a duo of hapless clucking chickens. Rosé sighed, a hand coming to grasp at his tousled brown hair harshly. If Mik wasn’t here, where could he even be? 

It was only when Rosé heard what sounded like muffled sobs that he stopped right in his tracks, his head looking around for the source of the noise. It was coming from the other side of the corridor entirely, a part where neither he nor Denali had even explored before. When he turned around towards it, he saw his soulmate watching the same point as him. Denali had heard the same thing. Silently, he made a “come closer” gesture so they could explore together. Rosé wasn’t surprised to feel Denali intertwine their fingers almost instantly, and he squeezed right back for support, taking the lead. 

He wasn’t exactly sure what he had expected, but seeing Mik with his head down in his arms, circling his knees, while he wept as silently as possible, was driving him mad. He had to fight back the overwhelming need to gather him into his arms, kiss his temple, and stroke his hair soothingly. Rosé knew this wasn’t the best way to go, though, and he didn’t want to overstep his boundaries. Denali didn’t seem to quite share the same idea, as he rushed to the side of the younger one, kneeling in front of him and hesitantly putting his hands on Mik’s forearms. 

How tables turned, as Rosé was usually the one tending to Mik while Denali stood a bit farther away. The sheer irony of it was not lost on the Scottish queen, but he pushed it down for the moment. He was surprised to see Mik’s face emerge from his arms cocoon, and instantly pull Denali closer to him, breaking into loud sobs as soon as the ice skater had a good hold on his lithe body. Rosé frowned, but still held back cautiously. Somehow, even if _both_ of them had not answered Mik at first, it felt like _he_ was the one taking the brunt of it, if only because he had known about how Mik felt with soulmates. Denali didn’t know, not everything. 

Denali was merely hushing words of comfort here and there, doing as Rosé had wished for earlier, softly raking a hand through Mik’s hair, waiting for the weeping to recede eventually. Somehow, even without seeing it clearly, Rosé was sure Denali was also crying, and the thought made his heart ache even more. What was he even supposed to do in this fragile position? Both of his soulmates were in distress, and he felt utterly helpless. 

_You failed him, you failed them both_ , reminded his brain unhelpfully, as he closed his eyes for a second, feeling his throat tighten and he rushed to get in some much-needed air. He wasn’t about to have a whole other breakdown or worse, a full-blown panic attack now. He needed to be strong to support them, not be a burden. 

He was abruptly taken out of his thoughts by a hand pulling at his sleeve, and he frowned for a second, before catching the sorrowful gaze of Mik, still misty with tears who had not yet fallen. Rosé knew he would never be able to deny anything the younger one wanted, even less when he looked so miserable. Absentmindedly, he realized how easy it was for him to calm down whenever he was near them, _touching_ them. 

Forgoing his apprehensions, he just extended his arms while sitting next to Mik to cover them both, a hand rubbing at Denali’s back soothingly, as his other hand just softly grazed Mik’s upper shoulder and neck. Both of them just seemed to instinctively come closer to him, and a small smile made his way to his lips. He breathed more easily, finally — it wasn’t perfect, but it didn’t need to be. They just needed to talk. Almost against his will, his treacherous mouth started blurting out all his truths in the middle of the almost silence. 

“I’m just so constantly afraid of losing you again. That one day, I’ll wake up, open my eyes, and you two won’t be there, and your _trails_ won’t be there either. It’s always there at the back of my mind, and if I start to think about it, it feels like I’m suffocating and nothing can help me,” he confessed in a single breath. “I built so many walls just for you two to come in there and destroy it all at the only time I thought I’d be safe from it, here on set.” 

Rosé let out a short chuckle, a hand roughly wiping any tears that were on the edge of falling, trying to regulate his breathing the best he could. “And then I waited thirty years to meet you, I dreamed of it for more than half that time, and I still managed to mess up everything, haven’t I? I’m sorry. Mik, I’m so sorry, I told you all about how they’d never be disappointed in you and support you, and I go doing, well, the opposite of that.” 

“Does that mean you really are… you know, disappointed with me?” 

Mik’s hoarse voice from crying and his meek tone were more than enough to continue the tearing of his heart, the hemorrhaging that had started a while ago already. Without thinking, Rosé’s hand on his neck went to his cheek, prompting Mik to look at him fully. “Listen to me, very carefully — there is _nothing_ , I promise you, nothing that you can do that would make me disappointed to be your soulmate. Nothing that wouldn’t make me wanna support you, absolutely _nothing_. And if you give me a chance, I’ll prove it to you every single day, so you don’t get disappointed with _me_.” 

Rosé saw a small smile make its way on the seemingly soft lips of Mik, and he gave one of his own. He was also well aware of Denali’s hand on his knee, supporting him gently without interfering. “What if I win the crown, will you still support me?”

Rosé’s face morphed into a surprised expression and he smirked. “Okay, you little shit, what makes you think that first, you’re gonna win, and second, at my expense nonetheless?” He then turned his gaze to see the dimples of their other soulmate and shook his head. “Youth, these days. Am I right?” 

“Nah, I think he has a good point, honestly,” admitted Denali with a shit-eating grin of his own.

“You wound me, baby, what is it with people thinking I’m not winning this? Am I not making it clear enough?” Rosé’s green eyes were shifting between the two of them in shock. 

“You’re too busy staring at his ass, that’s the only thing that’s clear for _all_ of us,” teased Mik with a smirk of his own. 

Rosé accusingly brought a finger to point at Mik, an eyebrow raised. “You of all people don’t get to comment on that, I’ve seen you poke your fingers with needles because you were _also_ too busy staring at him.” 

“You know I’m right here, right?” 

Mik ignored Denali, instead grabbing Rosé’s hand in his own softly so he’d drop his pointed finger. “Yeah, but at least I’m not trying to deflect it, am I?” 

“Aren’t you doing just that right now?”

“Oh my god, shut up,” groaned Mik with exasperation, turning to Denali. “How can you handle dealing with such a baby every day?”

At the same time Denali shrugged, Rosé smirked even more. “If you want me to shut up so badly, make me,” he suggested teasingly, his tongue peeking out lightly in jest. 

Rosé never really expected Mik to follow through with the obvious attempt at getting under his skin. But he still barely had time to register the softest of all feelings lingering for a few seconds on his lips, before it was gone. The younger one looked delighted to have shut him up, while Denali had a hand over his mouth, even if they could see his dimples showing a promise of a large smile underneath. 

“I… I mean, you…” 

“That’s one way to shut him up, as you now realize,” snarked Denali, this time laughing from his kneeling position, his head comfortably nested inside his arms, on top of Mik’s knees. “At least until he realizes it affects you just as badly, and then he gets rowdy again.” 

“If I can recall, you never had any problem with me being _rowdy_ and talking you down, miss _I like getting praised._ ”

“See, his brain has rebooted enough now,” simply added Denali, ignoring his jab even with his light blush, as Mik nodded in amusement, a hand coming to stroke his chin slowly. 

“What if I do it again?”

“What, kissing him? Yeah, it might shut him up again, watch out for his wandering hands though,” warned Denali with a lopsided smile. Rosé saw the mirth in his dark eyes but also the pure _want_ and realized he probably wanted to watch, but wouldn’t exactly admit it. _Interesting_...

“Wait, don’t I get a say in all that?”

“No,” instantly retorted both his soulmates in the same breath, as Rosé rolled his eyes at their synchronism. 

“What, you don’t wanna kiss me again?” 

Rosé opened his mouth to let out a characteristic teasing jab at Mik’s statement but found out that he had nothing to say about it. The soft pout playing on the other’s lips was going to be his absolute downfall. Also, he really wanted it, he had daydreamed about it more than enough, wondering how it would be, if he could make Mik bow down to his whims as easily as Denali did, but he was almost sure their soulmate had a little too much fire in him for that. But he couldn’t lie that he was eager to test it out. Denali didn’t seem to mind much either unless he was hiding it down, but to Rosé, he had always been more or less an open book. 

He didn’t have time to consider his options more, as he felt Mik’s cold hands cup his reddened cheeks, green eyes meeting blue for a second before he chose to close them. He couldn’t handle seeing all that unspoken desire in the other’s darkening irises. He gulped uneasily, feeling Mik’s nose graze his own slowly, the thumbs rubbing at his jaw only riling him up more. His leg was shaking slightly under the pressure of it, but he stayed in his place if only so Rosé could prove he could do it.

Nothing could have prepared him for it, much like the first time he had tasted Denali’s lips — it felt straight out of a dream, if only sweeter because it was real. No dream could ever compare to actually living it, especially after waiting so long. Absentmindedly, he felt Mik’s hands grasp at his hair, pulling him deeper into the kiss, and Rosé groaned hotly against the sensation. It seemed like he had guessed right when he had theorized the younger one was rougher than Denali, but it wasn’t unpleasant. Rosé didn’t exactly mind following his lead, at least, for now. 

However, the second he felt blunt nails scratch almost painfully at his scalp, something inside him just snapped, and Rosé bit down sharply on Mik’s bottom lip, getting a whine in return, and he smirked mischievously. He didn’t know if it was Mik’s goal to spur him on, but it was over. He backed away from the kiss for a few seconds, getting a quick sight of Denali sitting a bit farther away now, watching them in curiosity, his irises much darker than usual. Coyly, he winked at him, and got an amused dimpled grin in return, along with a slight movement of Denali’s head that clearly meant for him to continue. 

If Denali wanted a show, he would give him one alright. Rosé just hoped no one would surprise them in the next minutes, because that would be really, really problematic. Rosé grabbed at Mik’s thighs, hearing him squeak in surprise, bringing him closer so he could straddle him, and grinned, pleased with his move. Roughly taking a hold of his friend’s hips, he brought their lips back together, overwhelmed by everything happening at the same time. After a few instants, he drifted towards Mik’s cheek, mouthing almost lazily at his jaw, before biting down on his earlobe, delighted with the high-pitched moan he got from it. Unable to help it, Rosé exhaled harshly against the shell of his ear. “God, you have no idea the things I wanna do to you,” he made his way to the other’s neck, feeling his heartbeat thumping, “you make me wanna lose control, only to have you writhing underneath me.” Rosé sank his teeth in without warning, making the younger one let out a strained moan, sounding almost wounded. 

“Rosie,” started Denali in a warning tone, his voice lower than usual, “you’re gonna mark him if you don’t stop — I _know_ you want to but you can’t.” 

Rosé groaned at the gentle reminder, but still heeded the call of his soulmate and lessened his hold on the other’s neck significantly, huffing. “If we continue,” he said, as he stopped his kisses after a few seconds more, “I won’t be able to hold back.” 

“You’re such a horn dog,” affectionately mumbled a flustered, out of breath Mik, a hand ruffling his hair, before caressing his cheek softly, his thumb drifting dangerously towards the corner of his lips. Mischievously, Rosé licked the pad of it, feeling Mik shiver and watch him with dangerously narrowed eyes before smirking once more. “Can you blame me for being turned on _for you_? While Nali is _fucking watching_?” 

They both watched as the aforementioned queen was biting down on his lip, a hand holding up his chin as he had been looking at them eagerly. “He’s not doing better, by the way,” added Rosé with a shit-eating grin, his eyes dropping towards Denali’s midsection with amusement, easily dodging the halfhearted attempt at a smack by his first soulmate. 

Mik still smiled, absolutely unmoving from his lap, and Rosé couldn’t say he was complaining about it, even if he had to try very hard to keep his hands on his hips and not roaming everywhere as he’d want to. “Well, it’s not like _I’m_ doing any better either,” Mik merely said, carelessly, almost like an afterthought. Rosé looked at him in wonder, keeping this information very close in his brain for future use. To know he was affecting the ever-calm and mellow Californian queen was making his capacity to think rationally melt. 

Mik was about to continue, but a loud noise from the other end of the corridor startled the three, and they instantly scrambled to look somewhat normal and not like they had cried their heart out before making it up. Denali, the closest to the noise, watched but shrugged, not seeing anyone. “We should still, you know, go back. Before someone comes for real.” 

Rosé nodded and let Mik walk leisurely between the two of them, the corridor large enough to allow it. Even in the silence, only broken by the sounds of the water pipes around them, it was comfortable. Rosé brushed his fingers against Mik’s wrist, gaining his attention. “What were you going to say?” 

“Just that I’m giving you a chance — but only if you keep kissing me like that,” he added cheekily. 

“Well, Rosie, are you gonna be able to handle the two of us when you can’t do anything too much?” 

“Shut up, Nali. But yeah, I think it can definitely be arranged,” he said in a sickly sweet voice. “I’m just gonna have to jerk off more or something,” he finished, thoughtfully. 

He barely avoided the two others rushing to fight with him and laughed loudly, making a run for the workroom to save his life. But God, they were so damn fast, it was almost terrifying. 

* * *

Rosé was busy thinking about all the quips he could use in the Snatch Game while also preparing the props he would need when he saw from the corner of his eye Denali and Mik coming closer. He still kept humming lightly, knowing his soulmates wouldn’t resist asking for whichever thing they wanted soon enough — they were probably here just to mess with him a bit, though. He knew them well enough by now. 

“Rosie, you gonna be okay with the Snatch Game? You know, with the accent and all?” 

Rosé furrowed his brows, his eyes finally dropping on his pair of mischievous soulmates, seeing their playful smiles. “Of course I will, baby. Just because I don’t speak daily like that doesn’t mean I can’t make it come back when I want.” 

“Does that mean you’ll practice, like right now, telling stuff?” 

Rosé looked in disbelief at the two, especially Mik who had the fakest expression of mock innocence he had ever seen, but in the end, he still entertained them — after all, it _was_ good practice for the challenge anyway, and he liked seeing the two watch him with interest. 

“Wow. You two really are horny for that stupid accent, huh? Or is it just for Rosé in any case?” laughed Symone while she was passing nearby, making all the others laugh — and Tina making gagging sounds while Rosé flipped her off, rolling his eyes. He couldn’t wait for her to back down his case — but at least she wasn’t going on a rampage anymore. 

Meanwhile, it was also amusing him to no end to see both his soulmates blush like schoolgirls as they were getting called out. 

* * *

Rosé found out that the hardest part about the Snatch Game wasn’t being funny, it was staying in character and not laughing every time Mik high-pitched his voice to act as a carbon copy of Paris Hilton. It was troubling, honestly, how well he was doing it. It wasn’t helping that they were next to each other — while Denali was on the second row down, instead. 

He made sure to keep his hands busy at all times, whether it was to play with his cards, or eat a stupid apple that was given to him by Olivia, bless her heart. He knew that if he stopped for a single second, he would try to seek contact with Mik, and he, unfortunately, had a lot of experience doing that unknowingly to everyone. They needed to keep their heads in the game, they were doing pretty well.

He still couldn’t resist grinning and getting closer to his friend — _his lover?_ — to fake take a selfie and he hoped that part was gonna be kept by the producers since it was so ridiculous to have a Scottish regent from the 1600s to do that. Rosé found out that he liked having Mik around just as much as Denali, their dynamic and chemistry evident for all to see. But his favorite moments were still when the three of them were just bantering together, always seeking each other’s touch and warmth. He’d never get enough of it, he was certain. 

* * *

“God, I’m fucking exhausted,” whined Denali before loudly dropping on the nearest sofa in the workroom, eyes closing. 

“Girl, same,” mumbled Mik, sitting near the ice skater without much care, a hand absentmindedly dropping on his thigh to caress it soothingly. “At least we all did pretty good this week, no? More than enough to be safe?” 

Rosé nodded, the last one to take his place on the couch, and he unceremoniously extended his legs on both his soulmates’ laps, groaning in relief as he stretched at the same time. He felt Denali grab his ankle, just letting his warm hand rest there, as Mik opted to rub his calf calmly. 

The others seemed to keep clear of them, though Rosé saw a knowing look on Olivia and Utica’s faces, while Symone appeared more amused than anything. He wasn’t too sure where the rest of the group was, and at this point, he was starting to get into a sleepy mood, so he didn’t even bother sweeping the room. He saw Mik yawn in his periphery and smiled tenderly. “Don’t fall asleep,” he suggested softly. 

“I couldn’t even if I wanted to, not that you aren’t comfortable, but, I…” 

He suddenly stopped, his cheeks getting pink and the top of his ears turning red. Rosé resisted the pull of sleep and grinned. “What, too many people watching for your comfort? You drool in your sleep or something?” 

“It’s not that — and I don’t drool, by the way. Ugh. It’s just, I don’t have my eye contacts and it’s a bit overwhelming. I don’t know how you two do without it, honestly.” 

Denali seemed to perk up at this, back from the dreamlands. “When you’re used to it, it feels more confusing _not_ seeing them.” Rosé nodded at this — he always felt lost whenever he wore his special glasses under the guise of being more concentrated. It usually did the opposite, making him panic at the thought of losing them. 

“I didn’t know you removed them again,” admitted Denali in a soft voice, a hand brushing against Mik’s forearm softly. The younger one just nodded and intertwined his fingers with Denali’s, smiling. “I kinda like knowing where you two go, there’s something reassuring in knowing I’m not alone,” he shrugged. “Also, I find it extremely funny that we have the colors of the trans flag. It’s pretty convenient, right?” 

“It is, it really is”, laughed Rosé, quickly joined by Denali. “That’s soulmates for you, I guess.” 

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” acquiesced Mik, getting more comfortable on the sofa, sighing. 

“If you wanna sleep, just close your eyes. It won’t be as overwhelming — and we’re near you, so you don’t have to worry about losing us,” proposed Denali in a gentle tone, squeezing his fingers in support. 

“Promise to be there when I wake up?”

“We do,” merely nodded Rosé, before continuing. “Besides, we _all_ deserve a power nap, as a little treat for doing well in the Snatch Game.” 

* * *

Rosé was grinning wildly as he entered the workroom to film Untucked with the other highs and bottoms of the week. Denali and Mik had great comments, and so did he. He was sure one of them was going to win it, and while he would be delighted to have a second win a row, especially for the Snatch Game, he had a feeling that Mik would take it — and it would be nothing but deserved. 

He watched with disbelief as Denali skated around the room without stopping, apparently still full of energy, as both he and Mik were more mellow, sitting in opposite sofas as to not drop attention to themselves in front of the others, especially as Kandy and Tina were still giving him the stink eye, flaking their friend like hawks. Rosé absentmindedly noticed how the place near him stayed empty as if everyone expected Denali to sit there eventually. 

It seemed unlikely, though — the only time the other queen stopped was to drink. After seeing Denali waver unsteadily on his feet after a corner, Rosé gripped his forearm, effectively stopping him, but getting a saddened pout in return. “Nali, sit down for a sec, you're like a cat that’s zooming across the room,” affectionately chuckled Rosé, with a small point of concern. 

“But I’m _happy_ , Rosie,” cheerfully fumbled Denali, still grinning widely. Rosé looked at him endearingly and removed his hand from him in acceptance, nodding softly. He could understand — he had done well, and everything was going well with the three of them so far. In the background, he vaguely heard Tina mimic barfing at the way he was treating Denali, but disregarded it. Instead, he turned to catch the pale blue eyes of Mik, also looking at their soulmate with a soft smile playing on his lips. 

“They shouldn’t allow her to keep with her skating, it’s dangerous,” smirked Mik, when Denali was out of range. 

“I’ve never seen her look so free and happy, though,” marveled Rosé. 

“Yeah, but we all know you’re whipped _and_ you’re not the one who almost got sliced when she fumbled a corner earlier,” retorted the Californian, and Rosé made a face. Whipped? Him? Yeah, he probably was, but Mik wasn’t exactly far from it either. He still kept silent, just to protect whatever they had going on for now, and grinned at his soulmate sitting in front of him. 

The conversation turned to how fascinating it was that some people could easily stay concentrated even when constantly seeing their soulmate’s trails, and it was that moment that Mik decided to pipe in, merely saying how much trouble he had concentrating without his eye contacts in. 

“Wait, you removed them?” instantly questioned Olivia with a surprised face. 

“Yeah, I took a friend’s advice... and I actually like it,” he admitted bashfully, carefully avoiding both Denali and Rosé’s eyes just in case. Rosé stayed silent, perking up at the friend thing — he didn’t know what he could add to that without blowing their whole cover, so he let the others take the lead of the conversation. 

“Some soulmates take their time appearing, but it’s worth it, right?” beamed Denali, his dark eyes twinkling with mischief, finally stopping with his hands on his hips, standing next to the empty place on Rosé’s couch. 

“Yeah, they usually do,” acquiesced Olivia playfully, eyes switching with curiosity between the ice skater, Rosé, _and_ Mik. 

* * *

Tonight was almost an anomaly, going colder than he had known LA to be in summer — or maybe he was simply used to the searing warmth of sunny California, at this point. Who knew. Rosé still tightened his long cardigan around him, seeking shelter from the chilly breeze. When he heard a noise, he turned his head instantly to witness a pitiful-looking Denali, all snuggled up in his blanket from his bed, with only his eyes and brown hair falling out. 

Rosé burst out laughing, unable to help himself. “You look like a burrito, what are you doing outside if you’re cold?”

“What do you mean, what am I doing outside? _You’re_ outside, dumbass, of course, I’m gonna be here,” Denali grumbled, slightly muffled by the blanket. “But honestly, fuck that weather. I’m already cold enough with the AC in the studio, and now this.”

“Stop, you look adorable, baby,” Rosé cooed softly. 

“Well, I’m glad you’re enjoying my misery!” 

Rosé couldn’t see it, but he knew Denali probably had the biggest of all pouts on his lips, and he itched to just go on his side, cuddle with him in that stupid blanket and kiss him until the morning came. It was wistful, but he really hoped he could do that with him eventually — and bring Mik along, too.

“Nali, can I ask you something that might be really dumb and overdue?”

“Yeah? Wait. What did you do this time?”

“I didn’t do anything — well, I did, but it wasn’t… I mean, you were there so, I don’t think it warrants that very tone of voice,” argued Rosé. When Denali only nodded, waiting for the follow-up, he gulped harshly. 

“You’re not mad about me and Mik, right?” 

“You waited all week to ask me that?” 

“Yeah?”

Denali sighed, coming closer to the railing. “Look, first, if I had a problem with it, I would have said something to disengage you, _us_ , from this before it happened okay? Because I knew it was coming. Second, no, I think it’s pretty fucking cute, actually... And third, what’s with you and waiting days before asking me what’s on your damn mind?” 

Rosé at least looked apologetic. “I need to play with the problem in my head for a few days before making the right conclusions and telling you.” 

Coming closer as well to his railing, Rosé smirked lightly. “Are you sure you don’t wanna… you know? Have fun too? He’s a good kisser if it helps you make a decision.” 

Denali rolled his eyes, but shrugged — or at least, it looked like he did, but the blanket was hindering Rosé’s ability to see his movements. “Maybe… eventually. I think Mik has things to figure out before we’re at that point, and so do I.” 

“I understand,” assured Rosé, “I just didn’t want this to be a thing where we don’t know where we all stand, you know?” 

“Yeah, I know.” 

There was a lull in the conversation for a moment, before Rosé talked once more, playing with the sleeve of his cardigan anxiously. “Are you _certain_ it’s really not bothering you, though?”

“ _Fuck_ , no, it’s not — is it bothering _you_ that I was there, watching?”

Rosé watched him with smoldering heat in his eyes, eagerness clear on his expression. “No, I didn’t mind — I liked it, actually, I didn’t know I was into that but you learn new things every day, right? Like, I want you there with us, I want you to watch us, I want you to touch us, we _need_ you like we need each other,” he said in a low voice, intently watching his soulmate who had dropped his blanket nest for a bit. 

Now that he had access to Denali’s face, he seemed deeply flustered, his throat bobbling uneasily. “You can’t just drop all of this on me like that without any warning!” 

“I’m just stating the truth,” laughed Rosé, before sobering up and looking more serious. “Nali?”

“Yeah?”

“You know I love you, right?”

Denali’s face instantly softened, and he nodded, almost coyly. “I love you too.” 

“I know, I heard you when I was feverish, I just couldn’t answer the way I wanted. Or at least, I _think_ I heard you say it.” 

“No, you did hear it. I was just scared of something happening to you, so…”

“So you said it in case,” finished Rosé for him. “Why did you get Mik?” 

“He’s literally the only other on our floor,” justified Denali, in a somewhat high-pitched voice. Rosé frowned — he had answered way too fast to his liking. 

“Why did you get him?”

For a few seconds, they held gazes, and Rosé raised an eyebrow in question. “I just… I needed someone to help me, and I knew he would. He did. He was way more rational than I was — he was the one who helped with your clothes and put you under the covers because I was freaking out too much. I just… felt safer having him around in case — and I knew you’d be okay if it was him, but not anyone else.” 

“I did feel safe with you two there,” he admitted, looking at the dark skyline. “I saw you talk on the balcony and somehow, my brain just put two and two together finally and realized we were soulmates. I don’t even know what you two were talking about, and it’s not my place to ask either. I was just delirious with fever and I was hit with the sudden revelation — I wanted to tell you two, but I blinked and fell back asleep.” 

“And then you freaked out next morning.” 

“Yeah, more or less,” Rosé chuckled, green eyes falling back on his soulmate, finding him smiling softly at him. “What?”

“You’re a dumbass — but all the hot guys are like that, so it was expected.”

“Hey!” Rosé looked at him in mock outrage, as Denali laughed out loud, avoiding him throwing a pillow on his side easily from Rosé’s weak aim. 

Things were back to normal, and so _good_ , it felt incredible. Still, a part of his brain, the overthinking one that never fully shut down, Rosé couldn’t help it. 

_How long would it last?_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this far, I appreciate it! Leave comments and kudos if you wish!  
> My tumblr is here if you wanna scream at me: @fromthenorthernskies


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